Thanksgiving Thoughts

America. Land of opportunity. Land of plenty.

America. Land of excess. Land of consumption.

I am an American. I love my country, very grateful for the endless opportunities before me. I am blessed with an education, freedom, and unlimited earning potential. I am blessed with a home and a car and a job and grocery stores with more food than we could ever consume.

There’s a restaurant on every corner. Unlimited fast-food where I don’t even have to get out of my car to place or receive my order. Coffee shops where you can get a wide variety of overpriced drinks (unless, like me, you can’t stand the taste of coffee). Snacks at every turn.

I am blessed with a house, fairly new, with heat and air and indoor plumbing. We have a fenced yard where the dogs can run and play. All four of us have our own bedrooms and we have two bathrooms (the boys are banned from the girl bathroom because boys are messy!!). I have a closet the size of a small room filled with clothes, many of which I haven’t worn in years.

And yet, I find myself stressed over finances. I have a good job making good money, and yet there’s rarely enough to stretch from paycheck to paycheck. I don’t spend extravagantly by any means. But, I have two teen boys and a pre-teen girl, all of whom are out-growing their clothes faster than I can keep up. I am constantly putting gas in my car (an economy car) to keep up with our endless activities. My garage door opener broke recently, and I need $300 to replace it. Christmas is around the corner, and I am trying to figure out how to make Christmas special for my kids.

Surviving as a single parent in America is tough…

And yet this week, I was brought to my knees, reminded just how blessed I am. I received a Facebook message from a pastor in Uganda simply asking me for prayer. He has shared his story with me, a story of poverty and loss. A story of redemption. A story of God’s faithfulness. A story of being touched by me, a single mom on the other side of the world.

This pastor frequently reminds me he is praying for me and the ministry God is doing through me. He tells me how I am on his church’s prayer list, how they pray daily for me and my kids. I see his posts about trusting God to provide for his little church.

And on this day, he simply asked me to pray for him. I pressed him a little, asking for some details. What exactly did he need? What specific prayer requests did he have?

“Please pray God will provide rent money and food for my family.”

Oh, how my heart broke. Oh, how I was brought to my knees. Oh, how I was horrified by my own indifference.

I sit at my computer and write. I lose myself in words, in sharing the messages God lays on my heart. I get so wrapped up in the tasks he has laid out before me. I want to pray for each and every person who has ever read my blog, who has poured out their hearts to me. But I can’t possibly do that on a daily basis.

And sometimes I lose myself to indifference about those who write me, who reach out to me.

God used this faithful pastor on the other side of the world to humble me, to open my eyes to the ingratitude in my life. He used this man to remind me how blessed I am. He reminded me of the many blessings right here in my life, of how I need to be falling at the feet of my Savior daily thanking him for the overwhelming opportunities I have.

He reminded me of the suffering around the globe, of those who are trusting God just to put food on the table and a roof over their heads. He reminded me that my idea of “walking by faith” pales in comparison to what it means to truly “walk by faith.” He reminded me that my heart should break for those who are suffering around the world.

And so, as we in America sit down to feast over Thanksgiving meals this week, I simply ask you to remember my friend in prayer. Ask God to open the storerooms of heaven and pour out blessings on this man, his family, and his church. Support organizations on the ground in countries around the globe, organizations meeting practical needs of those who are suffering. Listen to the Father as he directs you to give, to be the hands and feet of Christ.

May we all learn from our brothers and sisters around the world, those who trust God to provide their daily bread. May we learn from them the true meaning of walking by faith and not by sight. May we learn the secret of being content in any and every situation even as they have. And may we never take for granted the blessings God has given each of us.

As you pause to enjoy your Thanksgiving this week, let’s really take time to understand exactly how blessed we are.

Happy Thanksgiving!

When Terror Strikes

Last week, I watched in horror as terror unfolded in Paris, France. Bombings. Hostages. Shootings. Innocent people targeted. My heart broke for the people of Paris. For lives lost. For lives shattered, forever changed.

As I watched the non-stop news coverage, I began to wonder what kind of world my kids will inherit from us. What dangers are lurking behind every corner? Will they be forced to live in seclusion for their own safety? Will they fear for their lives every time they are on the street? Will they be targeted simply because they choose Christ?

It’s almost more than a mama’s heart can handle. Watching the news on a regular basis makes me fearful for my kids. Gone are the days of solid Christian morals, where seeking to follow Christ is the accepted norm.

Instead, we watch as terrorists invade every aspect of our lives. Christians targeted on college campuses. Citizens struck at a soccer game and a concert. Shootings in the middle of a church service. We even had a beheading last year right here in Oklahoma as a woman simply went about doing her job.

How do we deal with the fear? How do we teach our children to live boldly in an increasingly dangerous world? How do we live in light of the terror that surrounds us? How do we shine our lights for Christ when we know that we could easily be targeted for our faith?

It’s easy to become overwhelmed by the dangers and immorality in this world. It’s easy to wonder if God really sees us, understands our plight. It can be confusing to sort through the myriad of emotions, to know where we should stand on certain issues. Do we lean toward compassion or do we choose discernment? Both are present in scriptures. Both are necessary.

I don’t know all the answers. I’m not sure I know any answers.

Except one: Jesus.

As I read scriptures, I can trace the same type of human depravity back to the beginning of time. Murder began with the second generation, when Cain attacked and killed his brother because of jealousy (Genesis 4). Fast forward a few generations until God looked down and regretted that he had made man (Genesis 6). That’s when he wiped out the inhabitants of the earth with a great flood.

Or think about the story of the Levite who was traveling through Gibeah. He stayed the night, accepting the hospitality of a Benjamite. However, the men of the town came wanting to have sex with the Levite man. Instead, the men sent the Levite’s concubine out to them, allowing them to rape her all night long. They found her on the doorstep the next morning, dead (Judges 19). That story has always haunted me.

But there’s always someone, someone whose heart is pure. Enoch lived in close fellowship with God for over 300 years before God simply took him home (Genesis 5). Noah was found righteous, and he and his family were spared from the flood (Genesis 6). Lot was pulled from Sodom and Gomorrah and spared because of Abraham’s prayers (Genesis 19).

We could go on and on about both the depravity of man, the evil that has existed in the human heart since time began. Nothing. Has. Changed.

We could also go on and on about the righteous ones, those who stood out from the crowd because they refused to be corrupted by the world. We could talk about the heroes of the faith, those who made it their lives’ mission to walk as closely to God as possible. We could talk about those giants whose faith we cling to, those who give us the strength to keep moving forward in dark times. Nothing. Has. Changed.

There’s still incredible evil in this world. And there are still heroes of the faith. While ISIS prowls around looking for lives to devour, God is raising up an army of believers with faith that shines bright. While terror seems to be the constant news of the day, Christians around the world are standing strong in their faith, determined to let their lights shine in the midst of the darkness.

So, how do we respond in light of the terror all around us? How do we live our lives when it feels as if the world is caving in on us?

We must trust that God is our salvation, our fortress, watching over and protecting us. We must trust that he sees and knows the truth about this world, about our hearts. We must trust that he has the power to protect us, to rescue us from these very real troubles. We must remain confident that he is able, he is greater than this world.

We must cry out to him for wisdom, discernment, direction. We must seek to know him deeply, intimately. We must strive to follow him, every step, every day. We must wait patiently, expectantly, for him to rescue us. We must cling to every word, every promise, he has made. We must be brave and courageous, knowing that he has overcome the world.

The darker this world gets, the brighter our light shines. Hang on to God, my friends. He is our hope.

The Lord is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident.

The one thing I ask of the Lord—the thing I seek most—is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in his Temple. For he will conceal me there when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock. Then I will hold my head high above my enemies who surround me. At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy, singing and praising the Lord with music.

Teach me how to live, O Lord. Lead me along the right path, for my enemies are waiting for me. Do not let me fall into their hands. For they accuse me of things I’ve never done; with every breath they threaten me with violence. Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.

Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. Psalm 27(NLT)

Help Wanted!!

I am nearing completion of my book manuscript. How exciting is that?

As I pray through each chapter, I can only ask that God will use my words to bring hope to hurting people around the world. I pray that those walking through the pain and devastation of adultery and divorce find practical steps to help them through this season, to find assurance that there is still a beautiful future despite their current circumstances. I ask God to let every reader know that he/she is not alone, that there’s an army of Christians walking through this darkness together, and that we are still loved by our Savior.

Many of you have shared your story with me, stories which I am incorporating into my blog as I finish my book. Now, I am looking for more stories, stories to use in my book. Are you willing to open your lives to the world? Are you willing to let others see the struggle? Are you willing to be open, honest, vulnerable?

If you are willing to share your story with me, please send me an email at In the subject line, please put one of the following topics:

The Storm: Tell me about the moment your marriage ended, the moment you learned of your spouse’s infidelity. Were you taken by surprise? Did you believe that your marriage was solid? How did it affect you? What did you think? Feel? Did you make poor choices in the aftermath?

Surrender: Did you have a moment of surrender, a moment of accepting this painful situation? Did you pray a prayer that caused you to quit striving, quit trying to understand? What was that prayer? Did you ask God to take the mess and use it for his glory?

Forgiveness: Did you have a moment of forgiveness, an encounter where you extended forgiveness? Have you forgiven the other woman/man? What does forgiving your former spouse look like? How has forgiveness changed you? How did it set the tone for your future? How do you keep bitterness and anger at bay?

Acceptance: How have you chosen to accept this journey, to embrace it? What does that look like? How have you tried to take steps to enjoy the journey, to let the journey change you?

Responsibility: What responsibility did you have in the failure of your marriage? How did you contribute to the break-down of your relationship? How did you assess the situation and accept responsibility for your part? What have you changed in your life, your relationships as a result of assessing your marriage?

Mindset: How has your mindset helped or hindered you? Have you made a decision to move forward, set your mind on embracing your life and finding ways to thrive?

Identity: What scriptures have helped you believe what God says about you? How have you put aside the voices of shame and condemnation?

Integrity: What have you done in the name of integrity? Do you have a story about how you did the right thing even when it hurt, even when it went against everything this world would tell you to do? How have you taken the high road, despite your ex-spouse’s actions? Why have you chosen integrity? What impact has walking in integrity had on your life? How has God blessed you for your choices?

Fellowship: What role has your family played in your recovery? What role has the church played? How have others helped you move forward into a place of healing? How have you allowed the body of Christ to step in and minister to you?

Lessons Learned: What lessons have you learned through this season of life? How has your faith changed and grown? How is your life better than it was before? How has God redeemed the pain?

Rediscover: What kinds of things have you done to make sure that you live a full and meaningful life? What challenges have you accepted that you never would have before? How did you rediscover yourself, redefine who you are? What have you done to push yourself, to become a better version of yourself? What was your motivation?

Dating: Do you have any dating stories? Successes or failures? How have you navigated the strange waters of dating post-divorce? What advice would you give someone ready to begin that new adventure?

Reconciling Divorce and Remarriage: How have you reconciled your divorce and/or remarriage with scripture? What do scriptures such as Malachi 2:16 mean? What thoughts do you have on Jesus words on divorce? Paul’s words on remarriage?

Tell Your Story: Have you been telling your story? How has telling your story impacted you? Have you had the opportunity to encourage others? What advice would you give others about living authentic and honest lives?

Don’t worry about perfect grammar. I will summarize and place it in the book as it works.

And, if you’d like to be on an email mailing list for updates on book release, please send me an email ( or add a comment on my blog with your email. I will send you updates on when and where you can get the book.

Thank you all for your support! You are amazing and make me the most blessed woman on the face of the earth! Hugs and prayers to all!

Why I Choose Purity

I recently watched a video clip from The View, a women’s talk show. The hosts were discussing a newly married couple who posted a picture of her virginity certificate on the day of their wedding. The bride had made a promise to her father that she would remain pure, saving herself for marriage. And, on her wedding day, she proudly declared that she had stuck to her commitment.

As you can imagine, the picture caused quite a stir online. And the hosts of The View jumped all over it. The majority of the hosts ridiculed the bride—for posting the picture and for her choice to maintain her virginity. The lone Christian conservative host, Candace Cameron-Bure, jumped in to defend the couple’s decision.

We live in a society that has strayed from the foundations laid out in scripture. It doesn’t take more than a few minutes of television watching to see how sex-saturated our society is. I’m afraid that many of us have grown accustomed to the images, themes, and words that permeate every aspect of our lives. We have become desensitized to sexual messages and innuendos thrown at us each and every day.

And, those of us who choose purity are ridiculed. We are made to feel that our choice is outdated, old-fashioned. We are subjected to humiliation. We are shamed. It is just as scriptures teach us:

The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God. As the Scriptures say, “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise and discard the intelligence of the intelligent.” 1 Corinthians 1:18-19

The co-hosts of The View had no concept of why one would choose purity. Their attitudes made me ask myself: Why do I choose purity?

The obvious answer is because I am a Christian, and I want to please God. God tells us that our bodies are his temple and we should not defile them (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). It tells us that there should be no hint of sexual immorality (Ephesians 5:3). It tells us that the marriage bed should be undefiled (Hebrews 13:4).

But, outside of because God said so, why do I choose purity?

I am not an object. I believe that I am a valued human being, worthy of respect and honor. I believe that God created me in his image, that I am a child of the King. I believe that I deserve to be treated as a princess.

I have seen too many men who treat women as objects to be used for their gratification, their own selfish desires. They want sex, but they don’t want commitment. They want women to meet their needs, but then walk away when someone else more desirable comes along. (I’m sure the same can be said for women; I am simply coming from woman’s point of view.)

Having sex with multiple partners cheapens sex. Sex is meant to bond a married couple, to give them something that they share together—exclusively. If I am out having sex with different men, what is going to make my relationship with my husband any different than the relationship I have with any other man I have dated? I choose long-term satisfaction, long-term intimacy, over immediate gratification.

People who value purity as singles are more likely to value purity in marriage. I have been the victim of adultery, and it hurts! It is devastating. Many people never recover from the pain. Others struggle to ever trust again.

Because I have walked through the betrayal from a marriage partner, I guard myself against anyone who takes sex casually. Enjoy indulging in porn? I’m out. Make sexual jokes? Not around me. Comment about my appearance? I will walk away.

It took me several years to understand that a focus on true purity is an essential quality in a mate. There are no guarantees in life; we are all human and are all susceptible to falling if we aren’t guarding ourselves. But, those who put a high value on sexual purity before marriage are more likely to continue valuing purity as the years pass.

It’s my body, and it’s my choice. Doesn’t that sound like a familiar phrase? We often hear about abortion being a woman’s body and a woman’s choice. Abortion is not criticized by the hosts of The View. We are told that the fate of the tiny human growing in the womb—a human there because of a woman’s choice—is nothing more than the woman’s choice. She can choose whether she wants to continue that life…or end it.

If a fetus in my womb is “my body and my choice,” how much more is purity about my body? Purity is about my choice. Purity is about deciding what is good for me and what is not. Purity is about me being in control of my body. No one has a right to make that decision, except me.

And no one has a right to judge my choices about what I will or will not do with my body.

Now that you know why I choose purity, let me give you my description of purity. Purity is about more than just maintaining your virginity. We can maintain our virginity and still not enter marriage with true purity.

Purity of mind. I am a firm believer that purity starts in the mind. What we meditate on eventually determines our actions. Studies show that pornography alters the way men view women. It devalues women, turning them into objects to be used for sexual gratification. Watching porn decreases the body’s ability to become aroused, causing one to need more stimulation for arousal.

Have you noticed how many movies have sexual themes? Have you noticed how hard it is to look through a magazine without seeing an article on sexual fulfillment? Have you noticed that even the commercials on tv use sex to sell products, everything from yogurt to shampoo?

I use great caution when watching tv and selecting movies. I don’t read books with sexual themes. I choose to think on things that are lovely, noble, pure, right, excellent and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). I choose to fill my mind with things that keep me in relationship with God. I choose purity of mind.

Purity of body. So many people ask how far they can go physically without sinning. That’s the wrong question. I want to set boundaries that will give plenty of margin, knowing that if I get close to that boundary I still won’t fall.

I know couples who chose not to kiss until their wedding day. My pastor says to make sure that both feet are on the ground at all times. What is acceptable in a relationship comes down to a decision the couple makes together, a decision that must be respected by both partners.

Whatever boundary you choose, make sure that it gives you plenty of margin. If you think you are standing strong, be careful (1 Corinthians 10:12).

Purity of spirit. Are you seeking God? Are you striving to know him better each day? Do you spend time in his word and in prayer regularly? Are you asking him to guide you, to give you strength?

He promises us that his strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). He tells us that the pure in heart will see God (Matthew 5:8). Make sure that your heart is turned toward God.

Perhaps you are reading this and thinking it’s too late for me. I’ve already blown it. I don’t have a virginity certificate to present to anyone.

But that’s the beauty of God!

I was married for nearly 17 years before my marriage fell apart. I am a single mother of three amazing kids. I have not walked this purity walk perfectly. But I have a virginity certificate in God’s eyes!

The minute I confessed my sins and sought his forgiveness, he threw my sins as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). He remembers my sins no more! When he looks at me, he sees a pure woman, covered by the blood of Jesus. He has restored my virginity in his eyes!

Have you confessed your sins? Have you asked forgiveness? Then your sins have been forgiven. You have been washed white as snow. He has given you a new virginity certificate.

Will you keep it until your marriage day?

An “Aha” Moment

Have you ever had a pity party with God? You know what I’m talking about.

“Why, God?’ we whine. “Why did this have to happen? Why? Why? Why?”

I know I’ve been there. To be honest, I still find myself there frequently. When things just aren’t going right and life is falling apart, I begin to whine. Or, right now, I am so tired of waiting, of just plodding forward, day by day, step by step, enduring the mundane details of life. I am so ready for God to pour out his power, to see a mighty display of his sovereignty. And I find myself whining…

I don’t think God has a problem with us asking, “Why?” I think it’s normal human nature. But, rarely do we get an answer to our “Why?” questions in the heat of the moment. Instead, he pours out his love and grace. He lavishes us with his peace and his presence.

And he says, “Just trust me. It will all make sense one day.”

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

Seven years ago, when this crazy journey first began, I saw all of these unrelated events coming together into an amazing picture. I always thought of it as a mosaic, as God taking these little tiles of different events and putting them together to create a masterpiece. It was fascinating to have a different perspective, to begin to see God’s creative genius creating a bright future in the midst of my darkest hours.

And this last weekend, it happened again.

I attended my first ever writing conference in Oklahoma City. I honestly had no idea what to expect. I thought I would be learning how to get a publisher, perfect my craft, write a book proposal, etc.

What I didn’t expect was to encounter God. Yes, it was a Christian writer’s conference, but I never dreamed how God would reveal himself to me.

The very first session (and several others) left me with tears streaming down my face. God overwhelmed me with his goodness and grace poured out over my life. I gained a new perspective on unrelated events in my life. I began to once again see the amazing masterpiece God is crafting, the mosaic of my life.

Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Please, come near me,” and they came near. “I am Joseph, your brother,” he said, “the one you sold into Egypt. And now don’t be worried or angry with yourselves for selling me here, because God sent me ahead of you to preserve life. Genesis 45:4-5

When I was in high school, I dreamed of writing. God planted that dream deep within my heart many, many years ago. Then I went to college. I had no idea what I should major in, what kind of degree I should work on. I even asked some of the professors what direction to go if my dream was to write Christian books. For some reason, I ended up in the public relations program, a cross between journalism and marketing.

Over the next few years, I took a position first teaching middle school and next writing computer training manuals. In my computer position, I also did classroom training, gaining experience speaking in front of adults.

Eventually, with my writing dream buried deep beneath my life, I needed a job that would provide me with freedom to still be a mom. My life was falling apart, and my priority was earning enough money to support my kids. I earned my nursing degree. I was blessed to minister to hospital patients, honing my ministry skills, while supporting my kids. But, after a few years, I stepped out of bedside nursing into a nursing/marketing job.

And do you know what I learned in the very first session of the writer’s conference? That being a writer requires writing, speaking, and marketing skills!

I knew that my writing and speaking experience was of great importance. But to realize that the public relations and marketing experience was of equal or greater importance? I had no idea!

But God knew.

God knew his purpose for me twenty years ago. He knew that he created me to write. And he knew the public relations and marketing experience was invaluable for me. He has been putting the pieces of my life together, one by one, tile by tile, all of my life. AHA! It all makes sense.

 Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this.” Esther 4:14

Throughout scripture, we see characters enduring difficulties, devastation. Moses was left by his parents, raised as an Egyptian, rejected by his people, banished to the wilderness…before God revealed his greater plan and purpose, before Moses understood how all of the unrelated pieces fit together. Joseph was sold by his brothers, wrongly accused and imprisoned, forgotten…before God raised him to a position of power where he saved many, including his own family. Esther was forced into a harem, chosen as the king’s wife, and put her life in danger…so God could use her to save the Israelites. Over and over we see God preparing his people for the work he has planned for them…even though it didn’t make sense at the time.

And then one day… One day, that AHA! moment happens. One day, we see life from God’s perspective. One day, we catch a glimpse of the greater plans God is working out in his sovereignty. One day, we begin to understand why all these things happened. One day, the mosaic of our lives begins to come into focus.

I don’t know where you are on this journey. I don’t know if you’ve had your AHA! moment or if you are still wallowing in your pity party. I don’t know if you are beginning to see the beautiful mosaic or if you are still struggling to keep your head above water.

But I do know my God. I know that he is a master creator, a master artist, intricately weaving the details of your life together into a masterpiece. I know that he can see the final creation, and he is carefully leading you down the path to fulfill your purpose. I know that he understands your hurt and pain and confusion and your questioning.

And he calls out, “Just trust me. Trust my heart. Trust that I know what I am doing and it is for your good. When your heart is breaking and you don’t feel like you can take another step, run to me. I will catch you. I will hold you. I will love you. And I will work all of these things into a masterpiece.”

A Glorious Unfolding

A few years ago, I planned a huge Christmas surprise for my kids.

I had been planning for months. I wanted to make sure that it was a fun, exciting surprise, not just a simple unwrap the gift and the excitement is over kind of gift. So, I prepared a Christmas scavenger hunt that would lead them to the best Christmas gift they had ever received!

On Christmas day, I picked my kids up from their dad around 10:00 am. We got home, opened gifts, and the kids ran over to their grandparents—oblivious that there was still a big surprise waiting for them. I chased them down and explained that the fun was just beginning.

And with that, I handed them an envelope with a clue.

I’m not sure how the kids felt at that moment, but I know that I was just about to burst. I had been waiting for this moment for months. The excitement was about to kill me as I waited to see the joy on my kids’ faces when they found the actual gift!

The kids opened their first clue and quickly figured out their next destination. Off they went to the barn where they found another clue. They worked together, going from one clue to the next. Traversing the neighborhood in search of the next elusive clue. Appearing at their teacher’s house to read the Christmas story, only to be rewarded with a clue. Christmas caroling to a neighbor to find yet another clue.

Finally, they came to a gift-wrapped box. As they ripped the paper off the box, anticipation growing and wondering if their mom had lost her mind, they found a jigsaw puzzle. A Mickey Mouse jigsaw puzzle. I instructed them to put the puzzle together. Around the edges of the puzzle was written, “We are going to Disney World!”

Yes, I had planned a trip to Disney World, a reward for having walked through the darkest days of our lives. A celebration of how far we had come. An exclamation point to say, “We have made it…together!” I had given a gift of a lifetime. I had been able to bless my kids with an incredible gift, and it brought me great joy to see my kids’ excitement.

I had more fun planning for this gift, this scavenger hunt. I spent weeks researching airline prices, finding the best tickets to the theme parks, deciding where we would stay. I had talked to others, made plans with neighbors and family, to make the scavenger hunt as much fun as possible. I don’t know how much fun the kids had, but I had so much fun! My anticipation of the big reveal was almost more than I could handle!

Giving a good gift to my children was the joy of a lifetime!

Today, I was on a long drive alone with plenty of time to think. I began to think back on a recent conversation I had with God. (It was really a pity party, but I will characterize it as a conversation.)

It went something like this:

Me: “God, I am really tired of this season,” I began. “You have promised me that it’s almost over, that you have great plans. I really need to see some movement. I need to see you reveal yourself.”

God: “Write your book,” came the quiet, gentle voice.

Me: “Ok. I hear you God. I am working on it. But you know how tired I am. How am I supposed to write a book when I have three kids, a full-time job, and all kinds of other responsibilities? And, I am sick. You have to do something. Haven’t I been faithful enough? Can’t you see that it’s time?”

God: “Write your book,” was his gentle reply.

On and on we went. I had my pity party, and God quietly reminded me to write my book. Be faithful. Do what he’s called me to. Focus on the task at hand, the command he has given me.

As time has passed, I have kept that conversation with God in my head. Every time I find myself frustrated, I remember that I am supposed to write my book. I have a very real sense that there are big changes coming… after I write my book.

I have only three chapters left in my book as I write this blog post. I have been plugging away, slowly but surely. In the midst of my crazy life, I have been putting words on paper, pouring out my heart in words that I pray will touch many.

And today, as I drove alone to meet up with my kids, I meditated on that conversation—along with the song Glorious Unfolding by Steven Curtis Chapman. I began to sense that on the other side of this book, on the other side of this manuscript, there’s an amazing gift. I am soon to see the glorious unfolding of God’s great plan.

And, I had a vision. A vision of God sitting in heaven, encouraging me to write…just as I encouraged my kids to follow the clues for the scavenger hunt. He knows the plan, the surprise…just as I knew the great prize waiting for my kids. He has spent years working out all of the details, working everything together for my good…just as I spent months planning all the details for my kids’ trip to Disney World. He knows that my heart’s desires will soon be fulfilled…just as I knew how excited my kids would be.

And he can’t wait to see the look on my face, to see the joy that this glorious unfolding will bring to my life.

He is the good Father who loves to lavish good gifts on his children. He is overflowing with excitement as he waits to reveal all the details. He is about to burst in anticipation of what is coming.

I must simply be faithful, obedient. I must focus on his current command. I must continue on the path he has laid out for me.

And, one day soon, I will see his great plan unfold as he takes great joy in pouring out his blessings on me.

And you? He has great plans for you, plans far greater than you could ever ask or imagine. Plans for an abundant life, filled with all the best he has to offer. He only asks that you listen to his commands, walk in obedience, and wait patiently for him to act. He can’t wait to lavish you with his great gifts!

What a great Father we serve!

Author and Perfecter of My Faith

I am taking a much needed break with my kids these week. I decided to run over to the archives and revisit an old post. I hope it speaks to you today as I seek some much needed rest. God bless!


Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Hebrews 12:1-2

Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. Those words have been ringing through my mind repeatedly. I have been on such a long journey to build my faith. I’m exhausted in so many ways, tired of facing yet another obstacle. I’m ready to see the final outcome, to move beyond these days of struggle.

But Jesus…

Jesus is the author—the writer, the creator, the initiator—of my faith. Jesus is the perfecter—the one who knows what it takes to make my faith strong enough, complete enough, to get me through the rest of my days on this earth—of my faith.

I don’t know how to make my faith grow. I don’t know what it takes to get me to a place where my faith is unshakeable, where my faith can move mountains. I didn’t initiate my faith, and I don’t know how to complete it. I don’t know what is necessary to make me useful to my Savior. I don’t know what it takes to make my faith mature and complete.

But Jesus does.

Today, I was texting a friend, a friend who has been with me since the beginning of this journey. She was the voice of encouragement and hope and wisdom in the earliest days of heartache and pain. Over the last few years, we’ve lost touch. But this week, I felt compelled to seek her out as a faithful prayer warrior for some things that are weighing heavily on my heart.

As we texted back and forth, I said, “I can truly say that the greatest desire of my heart is to be used by God.

Even as I typed those words, I was struck by the reality of that statement. God has brought me so far in my faith. He has changed my heart in so many ways. My life has been pummeled and pounded repeatedly. The result has been a stronger, more mature faith—one that has been tested by the trials of this life.

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Psalm 37:4-7

You see, four years ago I was newly divorced. The hurt and pain were excruciating. The loneliness left me in tears regularly. I was struggling to find my way through the chaos that had become my life.

I remember one day being so overwhelmed that I simply told my kids I needed to go running. They begged me to stay, but I simply couldn’t. Running had become my escape, my coping mechanism, my place of solitude where I could meet with God. Despite the bewildered looks on their faces, I laced up my shoes and walked out the door.

As my feet began to pound the pavement, it didn’t take long for the tears to begin streaming down my face. With every step, I cried out to God. I told Him of my hurt and pain, of my loneliness and despair. I told Him that I wanted to desire Him more than anything else—but I didn’t. My heart’s desire was for a man to love me, to hold me, to care for me.

By this time I was sobbing. The pain was overwhelming. I poured out my heart to God. Then, I heard the sweet sound of His voice whisper to me, “It’s Ok.”

It’s ok to long for a husband. It’s ok that your greatest desire is not for me. It’s ok that you are lost and confused—and even angry with me. It’s ok that your faith is not perfected. It’s ok.

As quickly as the tears had come upon me, they began to dissipate. I felt an overwhelming comfort and reassurance that God saw me, that He held my tears in His hand, that He was going to see me through this journey. In that moment, I knew that God has a very special man in my future, that my heart’s desires will be reality…in God’s time.

So often we focus on verse 4: Delight yourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart. But, do you see verse 7? Be still and wait patiently for God to act. Yes, God does give us the desires of our heart, but He does so at the perfect time. He answers our prayers in His time, when He knows that we are fully ready to receive those gifts. He provides the desires of our heart when our faith is at the proper strength.

How does our faith reach the proper level?

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:2-4

The last five years have been full of different types of troubles: financial woes, relationship woes, job woes. I have sold my house, moved my children to a new community, finished school, changed jobs a couple of times, changed churches, endured adultery and divorce, been financially devastated, financially secure, endured accidents and pain. My life has been a whirlwind of changes—some good and some bad. But, the one constant has been the love of my Savior who has carried me through every step of the journey. He—the author and perfecter of my faith—has known what was needed to grow my faith.

Today, as I came to a realization that my greatest desire is now to be used by God, I realized that my prayer four years ago has become a reality. I still desire a husband, but that desire pales in comparison to my desire to be used by God. The tears began to flow again today as I realized just how far I have come.

As I crawl into bed tonight, I will still long for someone to reach out and wrap his arms around me. In the morning, I will wake up and long to curl up next to someone who knows me completely—morning breath and all—and yet loves me anyway. As I go to church tomorrow, I will still long to have that special someone reach over and gently take my hand as we bow in prayer together.

But, even more than that, I long to stand before my Savior one day and hear His voice say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant. Well done.”

When Your Husband Isn’t Who You Think He Is

I promise that I have heard it all. Nothing shocks me any more. But, here is a story told by a very brave survivor, one fighting for her faith and her future. Keep my sweet friend in your prayers as she walks courageously forward.


I was the kid in school that everyone knew as the Christian. I had dreams of an ideal life: work with teenagers, marry a youth pastor, have a couple kids, lead lots of people to Christ, and implied in all of that, NEVER be a divorced woman. I didn’t want to be someone who gave God and Christians a bad reputation. I tried to always be happy and to make others feel happy because I wanted to show people Jesus in me. If I had any struggles or temptations, I tried to just pretend like they didn’t exist: maybe if I ignored them, then they’d go away. Along with that, I had a big distrust of my feelings, not that I am advocating letting your feelings be your guide. I just didn’t think my emotions had any good use; they were just a distracting annoyance.

I got married in my early twenties. My then husband, Marc (not his real name) was not a youth pastor, but he seemed to want to follow and serve Jesus. From the beginning, we had an odd relationship. First, we were polar opposites: in personalities and in backgrounds. He’s an extrovert, blunt, and sociable. I’m an introvert, opinionated but reserved, and I’m sociable when I’m comfortable (and until it wears me out). Marc came from a nominal Catholic family from Guatemala (not his real country). His parents divorced when they moved to the U.S. when he was about eight. Marc was a former drug smuggler who seemed to come to Jesus in jail when he was in his twenties. I came from a Christian home with parents who constantly fought (later divorcing when I was in my twenties). I became a Christian when I was eight, and I wanted to follow Jesus–especially from about middle school on.

Marc and I were “just friends” for quite a while, and our college pastor teased us because we were “just friends” who always hung out. When I first got to know Marc, I knew he had a crazy past that wasn’t too distant, but what I didn’t know is that he was still harboring secrets. I know it’s crazy to date a former drug smuggler, but my pastors and I all really thought he had a life change. I know God is very capable of drastic life change.

Marc and I were married for fourteen years when our divorce was finalized earlier this year. During the course of our entire marriage I saw in Marc what I now know as signs of sexual addiction. I later found out Marc was gay. During my marriage, I saw things I didn’t want to see, and no matter how many times I stumbled across the porn, my mind wouldn’t acknowledge that Marc had a serious problem. Like a true co-dependent, I wanted to protect him from getting in trouble. I assumed each thing was a one-time slip up, and I didn’t want him to be misperceived; I didn’t want to negatively affect his ministry. Marc was a sports-team chaplain, had studied to become a pastor (but stopped before finishing his degree), led small-group Bible studies, and for a few years together, we were leaders in college ministry. I took all of Marc’s addictive symptoms on as MY responsibility, when it was my husband who had a problem; he was the one who had secrets.

I began to live in a state of anxiety and depression. I ended up taking prescription anti-depressants to cope. In the spring of 2012, I took myself off of my anxiety medication. I lost about twenty pounds. And I slowly became aware of me–the me I tried hard to ignore. I was struggling with sexual temptation: men started noticing me after my weight loss, and my husband had stopped intimacy with me in 2003. I read in the Bible (1 Corinthians 7:5) that Satan used a lack of intimacy in a marriage as a source of temptation, and I was in a full-on battle that I truly thought I would lose. God provided a way out, just like He promised in 1 Corinthians 10:13. I even told Marc that it wasn’t right and that I was really struggling, but that changed nothing. So, life continued. My daughter, whom we adopted in 2010, was my reason to keep going.

Not long after my own battle with temptation, I came across the porn that led to my BIG confrontation of Marc. I was standing in our kitchen and happened to see Marc’s phone on the counter. There was a pornographic picture and a sext message. My heart was pounding so hard that I thought I would die of a heart attack. My hands were trembling. I felt sick, and I knew what I needed to do. I confronted him. I told him I didn’t want any excuses or stories this time. He started crying hard and admitted he had a problem. He also told me he was only attracted to men.  I told him I would be willing to work with him because I knew God could do anything, and I knew firsthand that no sexual temptation was too big for God to help us overcome. I really thought he would be willing to fight hard.

During the months that followed, as I waited, hoped, and prayed that he would do WHATEVER it took to fight this, I met a couple of Christian women whose husbands had been deeper into gay sex addiction than Marc. These husbands overcame. I read about sexual addiction and felt shocked and angry that my pre-marital counseling didn’t talk about this. I even read Desires in Conflict by Joe Dallas. I was willing to go down this road with Marc, and we even went to a Christian marriage counselor who recommended divorce after only four sessions. I was torn up inside. I was extremely concerned for our daughter, and I wanted to make absolutely sure I did everything I possibly could to save our marriage. I felt so guilty too–I made a promise, a vow, and the divorce was clearly going to be from me. Marc didn’t want to divorce, but he also wanted to keep all of this a secret. No one knew until I finally confided in a fellow believer at work. It was SO GOOD to finally tell someone.

About nine months after my initial confrontation it became clear that I wanted to save the marriage more than Marc. I came across some movies that were only about drugs and sex that were still being watched. I realized that Marc would never win this battle because he wouldn’t remove everything that fed his addiction. So, I finally asked him to leave and gave him two weeks.  I told him we needed to divorce because we were not both fighting for our marriage because we were going in opposite directions. That was the most gut-wrenching decision of my life because I was so scared for our daughter–that her life would be forever screwed up, and I felt at fault because I was asking for the divorce.

At the time of this writing, it’s been six months since the divorce was finalized. Since the BIG confrontation until now, I have felt despair and disillusionment. I have felt relief and hope. I have felt enraged and betrayed. I have felt shame and utter embarrassment. Also during this time God has frequently spoken into my life. You might have heard of the idea of God winks–I have had so many that I have lost count. I feel like during this time I have really gotten a clear sense of God’s voice. God has not only spoken to me about my immediate needs, but He immediately started with a promise for my future–I was not looking for God to do that, but He chose to give me a hope for my remaining life before I die: one day I’m going to have a happy marriage. I don’t know when or how that promise will be fulfilled, but He has confirmed it so many times that I lost count.

The promise for my future has taken on even more meaning lately, and I want to preface by noting that my focus word for 2015 is HOPE. Not only does my ex-husband have a sex addiction and he’s gay, but He has continued to run farther from God. He’s exposing my daughter to New Age because he has a boyfriend who’s into that. There also seems to be a good chance that they will get married soon. This more recent information has really forced me to decide, “Do I really TRUST Jesus? I say I do, but this stuff has my head and heart spinning and fearing for my daughter. I have to daily FIGHT to trust Jesus because when I’m not fighting for faith, fighting to claim God’s promises, it’s so easy to cave to depression and despair. The future feels so bleak, but that’s not what God promised me.



Kent’s Story: A Single Phone Call

The phone rang.

Phone calls are ordinary events that happen in our lives every day, several times a day. I grew up in a time where our family had a party line, where you had to count the number of rings to see if it was for your family and even if it was not you could pick up the receiver and listen in. Till the 1990s, most people only used the phone at home or at their work or occasionally using the now defunct phone booth. Now we hear cell phones ringing all around us, at the grocery store, the gas station, a social event, everywhere. Ringing phones are as common as the sand at the seashore. Our cell phone use has become as second nature to us as breathing air. So when I received this call at approximately 10 am on April 6th 2010, I thought it would be an ordinary call. Instead it changed my life and the life of my family forever.

“It is cancer,” said the voice on the other end of the line.

They came from my sobbing wife who had been informed over the phone by her doctor that she had stomach cancer. Those words, that phone call, exploded like a bomb on our family. I was shell shocked, frozen in place at Home Depot where I was picking up wood to help a friend build a patio cover. Cancer, a word that brings fear to the heart, tears to the eyes, and anxiety to one’s emotions. It is a word that causes a thousand questions. Is it terminal? What kind of cancer is it? What will it do to the body? What treatments are there? How fast does it grow? The list of questions is endless. This was the second time that cancer had entered our family’s life as I had faced and overcome colon cancer a year before. Now it was my wife Karen’s turn to face this dreaded disease. And that one phone call began a journey for our family that would stretch us and grow our faith like no other time in our lives.

Before this phone call my wife had been having stomach pains which began in Washington D.C. when our family was vacationing there in the summer of 2009. For ten months she had been going to the doctor, trying to find the source of and relief for her stomach pain which was ever increasing. It took several months but she was finally able to get an endoscopy of her stomach. We had prayed about it in general terms thinking at most that she had an ulcer. But we never thought cancer. On the day of the test, I had an elder meeting at church, and I asked for prayer for the results of the testing, again sharing with the men that the doctor thought it would be an ulcer. The doctor did, however, mention that there was a remote chance of cancer.

I immediately headed home to meet my wife, Karen, as the doctor had called her at work. Upon arriving home, we fell into each other’s arms and cried. What else does one do with such tragic news? We cried for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality is was only about fifteen minutes. We then prayed and discussed how we would tell our three children, all of whom were in high school. They were in the 9th, 11th, and 12th grades at Canyon High where I currently still teach. The two oldest were called home and told, but the youngest was spending the day with friends and would be picked up at youth group that night. Telling them was one of the hardest things I had to do. During my cancer battle, I had almost died not from the cancer but from uncontrolled bleeding caused by blood thinners. I had talked with them at that time about death and that God has numbered all our days. But now I was having this talk with my children about their mom…and it was 100 times harder.

For the next seven months our family traveled a road that eventually led to God calling my wife home on November 10th, 2010. We faced two major surgeries and countless hours of naturopath treatments. Stomach cancer does not have chemo for a cure, but rather only treatment for palliative care, treatment to ease the pain. As a result my wife chose a naturopath treatment. Along the way God provided unending support through our church family, my school, the previous school where my wife had worked, and through the college where she currently worked. While this blog is too short to detail the full journey, allow me to share how God caused growth in our lives and used our lives to minister to others.

Prayer – From the first day till her last breath, we turned to God in prayer. In my shallow faith, I often prayed expecting my preconceived answers instead of God’s answers. I learned that God says No and when he does it is for a reason. Did I really want our family’s journey to glorify God? That means accepting a “No” when after surgery the doctor tells us that he had to take out all her stomach, that the cancer was in her lymph nodes, and her hospital stay was a painful 10 days. These were all things we prayed not to have, but God said, “No, my grace is sufficient for you,” (2 Cor 12:9.) Yet in telling us No he was building our faith. We learned that we had to place each prayer request at the foot of the cross and look for his answer. His “No” answer did not mean he was withholding his love but rather that his ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:9).

Psalm 66:16-20

16 Come and hear, all you who fear God;     let me tell you what he has done for me. 17 I cried out to him with my mouth;     his praise was on my tongue. 18 If I had cherished sin in my heart,     the Lord would not have listened; 19 but God has surely listened     and has heard my prayer. 20 Praise be to God,     who has not rejected my prayer     or withheld his love from me!

Trust – We learned to trust God for provision along the way and rest in the truth of his word. This blog is too short to share the myriad of ways that God provide through our church, through our schools, and through believers and unbelievers alike. He provided food, gift cards, times away for refreshing our souls, and even tuition remission for all 3 children for the college where my wife worked. Most of all he brought comfort to us through his word.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Psalm 119:50 This is my comfort in my affliction, That Your word has revived me.

Laughter – God cares so much for us that he even gave us laughter throughout our journey. It came through friends and family and at the most unexpected times. We had fellowship with so many friends and church members in Karen’s hospital room, in the large waiting room, at our home, and at some special places that God provided for us to go. Laughter and smiles brought more comfort than trying to worry about when and if God would call Karen home. We coveted to live one day at a time and enjoy that day and all the blessings that God abundantly provided each day.

Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Longing for Heaven – After the second surgery, we knew that God would take Karen home. As a result, she and I read most of the book Heaven by Randy Alcorn. It was comforting and refreshing to know more about a subject that is rarely preached or taught in our churches. We learned more about heaven in those few weeks of reading than in all of our adult life before this time. Eternity compared to our short time on earth is really not a comparison. We will have eternity in a wonderful new heaven and new earth. If this earth is so beautiful and good, how much more so will the new heaven and earth be?

Defining Faith – While I had walked with our Lord for more than 30 years, my children were still in the early stages of their walk with Christ. As a parent, I often wondered how genuine their faith was. God showed me clearly and definitely that my children knew him and that he was deepening and growing their faith.

Abundant Grace – I cannot describe adequately the grace we received throughout the journey of Karen’s illness and the journey with my children since then. It has been abundant and overwhelming and has carried us through our darkest times. His grace has indeed been sufficient for us.

It has been almost five years since my precious wife went home to be with the Lord and I could tell you of countless ways that God has made himself known to my children and me. He has truly walked us through the valley of the shadow of death and has been by our side the entire way. And he continues to show himself faithful even when we are faithless. The journey has not be easy and there have been many tears and trials and we are still growing in our relationship with Christ but our God’s goodness has overflowed in our lives in ways we could never think of.

Our God is good.

The War Room

Have you seen the new movie War Room?

It’s an inspiring story of how God interceded in a broken family in response to the wife’s fervent prayers. It is a call to all Christians to fight our battles in the heavenly realm, to fall on our knees in prayer and let God take over.

When I saw the movie, I was captivated. I was encouraged. I was inspired to set up my own personal war room in the safe room of our house, tucked safely away in the back of my closet.

But I also walked away somewhat sad, confused. I walked out of the theater wondering about God and his ways. I walked away with possibly more questions than answers.

You see, I fought for my marriage in the war room. My war room was the streets of our neighborhood where I walked daily. While I walked I prayed. Prayed for repentance. Prayed for our marriage. Prayed for reconciliation. Prayed for my husband’s freedom from addictions. Prayed that my husband would flee temptation. I prayed for everything I could possibly think to pray.

I begged God to intercede. I asked him to heal our marriage, give us a new ministry beyond anything I could conceive. I listened for his voice, his direction.

And yet my marriage failed. My husband did not repent but instead chose to walk in his own self-centered ways…a direction completely opposite what God would have for him, for us.

Did I see answered prayers? Absolutely! I saw the struggle on my husband’s face. I could see the strain of living a dichotomy, even though I didn’t know that was the problem. I saw God make him so ill at times that he couldn’t function, times where I know he was supposed to meet her. I saw him protect us by removing him from the ministry before the truth came to light, preventing us from losing our job and our only source of income. I saw him bring the truth to light, forcing my husband out into the open.

I saw so many answered prayers during that time in our lives. I give God all the credit for the string of activities that led to the revelation of his affair. I will never deny how God’s hand was all over the situation from start to finish.

And, I have seen so many answered prayers since our divorce. I’ve seen him take my kids, heal their hearts. I’ve seen him create empathy, strength, courage in my kids. I’ve seen him answer my prayers to create a ministry for me, to give purpose to my pain. I’ve seen God give me a new life, resurrecting my life from the death of adultery and divorce.

And yet, I did not see him save my marriage. I did not see my husband fall to his knees in repentance. I did not see my husband change into the husband and father that God created him to be, the one portrayed in the movie.

Instead, I was faced with a hard-hearted man who continues (to this day) to blame it all on me, refusing to take responsibility for his actions.

Was God able to answer my prayers? I have to answer with a resounding yes! Did God draw my husband to himself? I have to answer yes, I saw God working on him.

And yet, here I am, divorced. My marriage was not saved. My husband has not reconciled. I have moved on with my life.

God has answered my prayers, though. He has given me a ministry far greater than I ever expected. He has increased my faith in ways I never dreamed possible. He has grown me and my kids into God-loving, God-honoring souls. He has created a family—minus a dad—that loves deeply, laughs often, lives abundantly.

As I reflect on the movie, I find myself wondering why God didn’t answer my prayers for my marriage. Hear me out: I am happy, content, blessed. I don’t desire reconciliation with my ex-husband. I feel as if I have been set free from bondage, a bondage I didn’t even know I was in.

But, couldn’t God have set me free by keeping my marriage together, changing our hearts to be more like him, giving us the marriage of our dreams with each other?

I’ll be honest. I don’t have a lot of answers to this dilemma. I am grappling with the questions surrounding unanswered prayers, unfulfilled promises.

Here’s what I do know. There’s a place where God’s sovereignty collides with man’s free will. God will never force us to follow him. He will draw us to him. He will woo us. He will give us every opportunity to return to him, to repent, to seek his forgiveness. And yet, if a man (or woman) chooses to continue walking in sin, refusing to surrender, God will not force himself on us. That’s where my husband was. His free will won out.

And yet, in God’s sovereignty, he did not allow me to be destroyed. All of those prayers I prayed for my marriage—prayers for financial protection, freedom from bondage, increased faith, obedience, spiritual growth—have been answered in my life. He has blessed me beyond my greatest imagination, given me a ministry far bigger and better than anything I could have conceived. And, I believe I’ve only seen a small fraction of his plans for me.

Even beyond where I am today. I believe that he is preparing a man for me, a man who will fulfill all of my dreams for a husband. I believe somewhere out there, God is working in a man in response to my fervent prayers. I believe somewhere out there is the man who will step in, become a father to my children, love me as Christ loved the church. Somewhere out there, my prayers are being answered.

God’s ways are higher than our ways, and I become more aware of that each and every day. I am learning simply to submit, to do my best to follow as closely as I can, to trust him with my heart. I am learning to hang on for a crazy, adventurous ride. I am learning that just when I think I understand how God works, I realize that I will never understand this side of history.

If you, like me, have been in the war room and been disappointed, please don’t give up. Look around. Ask God to reveal where your prayers have been answered. Ask him to show you his ways. Ask him to reveal himself to you. Ask him to create the heart of a warrior inside of you.