Thanking God for My Husband’s Affair – 15 Years Later

Fifteen years ago, the pain of adultery was overwhelming me. I couldn’t understand how my perfect life as pastor’s wife and stay-at-home mom had come crashing down around me…especially in light of my years of faithfully serving God and proclaiming His goodness. As the years have passed, I have seen the faithfulness of my Father […]

Just Leave

Throughout my years of writing about divorce, I have advocated for men and women who have found themselves in toxic and destructive marriages. Since I write from a Christian perspective, I often find people holding to the sanctity of marriage. I have no problem with that. I am a firm believer in one man, one […]

Red Flag Warning

August 30, 2023. I had an alert come across my phone about an officer-involved shooting. I quickly opened my phone to watch the news conference. To my surprise, the picture of my friend with the beautiful smile flashed across the screen. She had been shot and killed by her husband, one of her fellow deputies. […]

Does God Truly Redeem?

“Are you truly happy?” That was the question posed to me earlier this week in a conversation with a friend facing divorce after a decades-long marriage. It’s the fear of the unknown that creates so much anxiety, even when the marriage was unbelievably difficult, fraught with betrayal and pain of the deepest kind. Will I […]

The Theology of Forgiveness

Someone asked me this week how I ended up remarried after divorce in light of biblical teachings. My response started with Deuteronomy 24 where Moses specifically allowed divorce so that women could remarry. I went on to Malachi 2 where God talks about the cruelty of men to their wives which ultimately leads to divorce, another time […]

From Mess to Message

I was confronted again this week: Why do you continue to write about divorce? Why do you allow your past divorce to color your world today? Why do you allow what your ex-husband did to you to continue to affect your relationships today? I’ve heard it many, many times. I need to leave the adultery, […]

A Letter to the Spouse Who Had an Affair

Dear spouse, I want you to know how much I love you and how much I want to see God work in our lives and in our relationship. When I married you, I made a covenant before God and man–a covenant of until death do we part. And my heart has not changed. However, you […]

Should I Stay?

It’s a question I am asked frequently: Should I stay in my marriage? It’s also a question I wrestled with for a very long time after I discovered my first husband’s infidelity. I had made a covenant before God and man, and it wasn’t something I took lightly. I had always been taught that scripture […]

God Gave Me a Story

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 2 Corinthians 1:4 It’s now been 11 years since my divorce, and closer to 14 years since the entire mess began. Hard to believe […]

What Makes a Marriage, Part 2

Before I dive into the rest of the interview with Gary Thomas, I want to say a few things. I have already written about Married Sex, Gary’s latest book written with Debra Fileta. Sadly, many of you have heard many negative and critical comments about it. It is so important that we refuse to take words […]