About Dena

Welcome to Dena’s Devos!

For many years, I had what appeared to be the perfect life. I was raised in a tight-knit family with loving parents and siblings. I had a perfect little family, complete with three amazing kids. I was living my dream of being a pastor’s wife–exactly what I always knew God had called me to!

Then, life happened. My marriage crumbled in a very public and agonizing manner. I found myself lost and alone, trying to figure out how to raise three impressionable young children on my own. I was in a position of vulnerability, and I didn’t like it!

Isaiah 43:18-19a: “But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new.  See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?”

I had always been the “strong one,” the one others turned to in their time of need. Now, I was the one in need. I didn’t know how to be in need. I didn’t know how to ask for help when I needed it.

My faith seemed to be crumbling. I had chosen Christ at a very young age, and I honestly don’t remember life without Him at the center. But, He had failed me (or so I thought at the time). Aren’t we as Christians promised blessings when we walk in obedience? I had walked in obedience, so why was I experiencing this type of pain and sorrow?

If you have never experienced the betrayal of a spouse, it is a hurt like no other. I found myself staring in the mirror and beating myself up. “No wonder he doesn’t love me any more. Look at me. I am so ugly. I am not worthy of being loved. No one will ever love me.” The pain was unimaginable, and my self-esteem was gone. Fear was overwhelming. I can honestly say that there were days when the only thing that kept me going was when I would look into the faces of my children. They needed me, and I was not about to fail them.

I was so angry at God, and I decided to live life my way. After all, His way didn’t work out so well for me. I could have chosen a husband who would eventually betray me. I didn’t need God’s help to do that! This time around, I was going to live the way I wanted to live!

As I ran from God, I heard this voice calling in my spirit. It seemed that the angrier I got and the harder I ran, the louder the voice became. I was looking for security everywhere except in the only true source of security–Him. One day, I clearly heard Him say, “Dena, get your security from me.” He wanted to be the very thing that I needed the most!

And, He loved me! He was pursuing me! I was lost and alone and feeling so unloved, so unlovable, but the Creator of the Universe was relentlessly pursuing me! He was not going to let me go until I surrendered because His love for me is beyond my greatest imagination! Maybe I wasn’t completely unlovable after all!

I began to find ways to connect with God. As I surrendered to Him, I heard Him calling me to a new relationship with Him, a new ministry, a new thing. I informed Him many times that whatever He had for me better be really good if I was going to have to deal with this type of pain!

Although I am still not completely sure what the outcome of this journey will be, I can rest comfortably that I know where it leads–to the Great I AM. He has proven Himself completely faithful and trustworthy. He is my constant companion on this journey called life, and there is no one I’d rather share it with.

But, now I find myself compelled to share bits of my journey with you. I hope that in sharing my journey, you will find hope and encouragement. I pray that you will take your own journey to meet the Great I AM.

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2 thoughts on “Welcome to Dena’s Devos!”

  1. Dena, I just found your blog yesterday and already I admire the way the Lord has led you in this new journey.
    You have so much inspired me on my journey as a widow of three years and touched my heart.
    The Scripture that you used today has touched me and the Lord has spoken to me. May the Lord continue using me in my new life as I walk with Him in this new journey He has for me.
    May you continue to be blessed and may He continue using you as a vessel of blessing.

    1. My heart aches for you. I know that losing a spouse must be so hard. But, yes, God has a plan! He will have you put together and on your feet for good! Praying God will use you in this new life, that he will reveal his plans for you. God bless!

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