Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?”

“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

“Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” they asked.

Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.” Matthew 19:3-9

I find it interesting that this discussion came from a question designed to trap Jesus. Obviously, marriage and divorce were an important dilemma in Jesus’ culture. While God says in Malachi 2 that he hates divorce, if you read the context you find that God hates the actions of the unfaithful spouse—that the unfaithful spouse is heaping violence upon her (v 16).

Although Moses permitted divorce, Jesus elevated the importance of marriage. He stated that divorce should only be reserved for cases of adultery. Arguments can be made from scripture that there are other biblical reasons, including abandonment and abuse. It’s a tough and touchy subject with views that range from never divorce and never remarry to we are covered by grace.

I recently received an email from a reader encouraging me to stand in the gap in prayer for my ex-husband, praying faithfully that I might be reconciled to him. While I believe the heart is right, I sometimes feel as if some people are simply trying to trap me. I know that I will never convince them to see my point of view, and therefore I refuse to argue. But, let me share why I take the stand I do.

I believe strongly in the covenant of marriage. When I stood before God and man and pledged my life to my husband, I meant it with every ounce of my being. Divorce was never a word that entered my vocabulary. It simply was not an option.

Until it was…

I endured much throughout my seventeen year marriage. Without going into all of the private details, I will simply say that I was in a one-sided marriage. I did my best to stand strong, to love, to support, to encourage. But, in the end, he chose to break the covenant that we had made to God and one another.

When I first spoke to the divorce attorney, I told her that it was of utmost importance that my divorce was granted on biblical grounds: adultery. It was the only way that I could walk away from my marriage. When the attorney told me that I would need concrete evidence of his unfaithfulness, I pulled out a stack of emails. After a few seconds of reading, she set them aside and said, “We will file on the basis of adultery.”

Despite knowing that I had biblical grounds for divorce, it was a very difficult decision for me to walk away from a commitment, a covenant that I had made. But, I knew that I walked away having done everything I possibly could to keep my marriage together. I walked away knowing that God had given me permission to leave the covenant.

There are those who believe that even though I had biblical grounds for marriage, I am not free to remarry. They believe that I should put my life on hold, praying fervently for my ex-husband’s repentance and reconciliation.

I do pray regularly for my ex-husband. I do pray that he will experience the fullness of God’s grace and mercy. I pray that he will grow into the amazing man and father that God created him to be, the one that I once saw buried deep inside of him. I pray that he will fully surrender to God’s life-changing power, that he will allow God to do an amazing work in him so he can do an amazing work through him. I pray that all of the gifts and talents that he possesses will be used mightily for the Kingdom of God.

But I do not pray for reconciliation.

I believe that some are called to stand in the gap for their unfaithful spouses, to pray for reconciliation as long as is necessary. They represent God’s amazing power to resurrect a marriage from death to life again. And God gets the glory!

If God has told you to faithfully stand in prayer for your spouse—even if you are already divorced—then I am the first to say, “Do exactly what God has called you to do!” Trust God to do a work that you could never even conceive, something you could never ask or imagine. Cling to his promise to resurrect your marriage and allow you to be an example to the world around you of what God can do in a marriage.

But, perhaps you are like me. Perhaps your spouse has been unfaithful or abandoned you. Perhaps you have walked away, believing with all your heart that God set you free from the covenant you made with God and your spouse. You do not sense God calling you to hold to reconciliation. Instead, you believe—as I do—that God freed you from that covenant. You hear God reassuring you that he has an amazing future for you—without your former spouse.

Stand strong, and hold your head high! When others throw stones and try to condemn you for not praying for reconciliation, know that you are not alone. Know that you are covered by the grace of God, the blood of Christ Jesus. Know that Satan is the accuser of the brethren, and the Holy Spirit comes only to gently and lovingly convict you of sin. If you feel guilt and condemnation, it is not from God.

While I longed to be one of the marriages that was resurrected, that has not been the reality for me. For whatever reason, my ex-husband did not choose to surrender. The conflict between God’s sovereignty and man’s free will may forever be a mystery to me.

But, what I know is that God needs some of us whose marriages did not survive so that we can minister to others in our situation. While I never would have chosen this journey, I would also never go back to the way things were. God can use my divorce for his glory just like he can use those marriages that have been resurrected from the dead.

I may never fully understand why God chose this path for me, but I will be faithful to use it for his glory—to allow him to use it to mold me in his image, to build my faith, to minister to others.

I will never apologize for the path I am traveling because I am doing my best to follow my Savior.

And therein lies the key: get so close to the Savior that you can know what he is calling you to. Is he calling you to faithfully seek reconciliation? Then fervently pray that direction. Has he set you free from your covenant? Then walk forward with joy, in anticipation of an abundant future, and the confident reassurance that you are approved by God.

Lord Jesus, I know there are many suffering from the guilt that is often heaped upon our heads. I pray that you would give each one strength and confidence, reassurance from you that they are approved. I pray that they would see how you can use their situation—whatever it may look like—for your glory if they will only surrender. Help them to walk so closely to you that there is not a doubt as to the path they should take. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

44 replies
  1. mawilliamson
    mawilliamson says:

    Dena, I too am a Christian and a First Lady. However, it became apparent to leave my husband in July 2017 because of adultery. I prayed for God to fix my husband and marriage; while holding strong to my faith. When my family members found out, some asked me why did I stay in such an unacceptable marriage so long? My question to them was-Where is your faith? It seems they didn’t accept I was Christian. Two weeks before Dday, I asked Him to reveal the truth about my marriage and whatever He showed me I would believe. I put all of my trust in Him. He provided evidence, I accepted my answer without question and never looked back.

    Reply
  2. Cat
    Cat says:

    I am so very thankful for this unity in the spirit among so many! Reading the comments I see so many themes of what God has spoken to me before I even looked for His point of view in His Word. But, all have be falling into alignment with what I sense in prayer, the Word, and then through other believers. I am waiting on the Lord to work in my marital circumstance and originally I thought what was at stake was the legal standing of my marriage, but what I have been learning is that what is at stake is the redemption and restoration of hearts. Not just my wayward spouse’s! Mine especially, God has me in a place of growth where I have come to the end of my self-sufficiency and all that is left is to abide in Him. This has brought me to a new level of vulnerability with people in my life that I would not have reached otherwise. I have seen amazing “coincidences” happening where what I feel in my heart then is affirmed through others and sometimes even strangers who have no idea what’s going on in my life! I am healing from past hurts from childhood. Displaying new fruits of the spirit that aren’t typical of who I am naturally. I’ve also had several people come to me to share what God is doing in their spiritual life as a result of directly or indirectly witnessing me during this season. It’s amazing to see…and I am confident that anyone who has heard from God on what to do (divorce, dissolve, wait, stand, etc) in such gray circumstances and obeyed has seen the same fruit! We are not privy to the immeasurable wise plans that God is orchestrating through us but we have blessed assurance that He is.

    Reply
    • denacyd
      denacyd says:

      You have spoken so well! God calls us to unity. We cannot divide the body over doctrinal differences. We cannot be like the Pharisees, heaping laws and regulations upon others. God is a God of individuality who deals with us each personally. I never want to play God in someone else’s life. Praying for you as you journey forward, seeking his leading and discernment. God bless!

      Reply
    • sarah
      sarah says:

      my abusive,cheating husband for over 4 years has filed for a divorce although my mind tells me he is no good for me and I should be happy I have moments when I feel so hurt inside and still desire to try to make things work with him.somebody please explain to me what is wrong with me he has done every hurtful thing I can name to me,i have lost count on how many women he has cheated on me with,he has beat me,stole from me,talked about me an my family as though we are nothing,lied to me,mentally abused me and that’s just for starters.brought women into my home while I was at work. WHY DO I EVEN WANT TO TALK to this monster, I have to question my own sanity even though he is not saved how can anyone be so cruel.please respond and pray that GOD will grant me whatever I need to walk away with a peaceful heart and mind.i haven’t been able to sleep and my heart feels so heavy even though I prayed GODS will be done in this situation the pain is so strong at times

      Reply
      • denacyd
        denacyd says:

        Sarah, I am so very sorry. You are normal! We desperately long for everything to work out. We pray that maybe God can use us to help them see the truth. We signed up for “till death do we part.” Divorce is not natural! It goes against everything we ever wanted, hoped for, dreamed of. Fear and insecurity plague us. Will I be alone forever? Will anyone ever love me? You are dealing with it all. There’s no easy way to navigate these difficult times. What I can promise is that God will be faithful to see you through! He will bind up your broken heart. He will restore your soul. He will carry you through the dark, difficult days. He will give you a future you never dreamed possible! I encourage you just to pour into your relationship with God, surrender to this unwelcome journey, and let God do an amazing work in you!

      • sarah
        sarah says:

        hi dena its sarah please pray for me or call anytime 2766322441 between 10 and 530 pm I feel like im falling apart

      • sarah
        sarah says:

        hi dena its me again I cant seem to stop crying I hurt so bad inside my only strength is in my 7 yr old son.my husband seem to have no mercy at all he has filed for divorce and is constantly flaunting his new girlfriend in which I am well aquainted with as though she is his wife.he told me she makes him happy and he will probably be coming to my sons football games with her.can you believe anyone can be so heartless.does this pain ever end I feel like im falling apart but I know I have to keep it together for my son.is it crazy for me to pray for him to come back to me or that GOD would put love in my husbands heart for me.what can I do to stop this pain and torment its taken a toll on my sleep and running my business properly

      • denacyd
        denacyd says:

        I am so sorry, Sarah. Unfortunately, most adulterers suffer from extreme self-centeredness. They don’t care who they hurt. They justify all their actions. They flaunt their new relationships. The pain does end, it does lessen. And anger sets in. You have to go through the stages of grieving, just like a death. In many ways, it is much worse than death. My words of advice would be first to surrender to the journey. It’s not one you want, not one you will enjoy. But if you surrender to God, he will make the pain worth it. He will redeem your life, your hopes, your dreams. He will turn every pain into two blessings. You will look back one day amazed at what he has done in you and through you. You also need to find a counselor–someone who can help you sort through the myriad of emotions, someone who can listen and encourage. Perhaps your church has a pastor that can counsel. I have your phone number and will try to call you tomorrow. (I was in a car accident a few hours ago, and I’m currently at the ER waiting for a doctor.) Lord Jesus, I lift Sarah and her broken heart to you. I pray that you would overwhelm her with your peace that surpasses all understanding in this moment. Help her to focus all her thoughts on you, not the chaos swirling around her. Sweep in right now and be her comforter. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

      • denacyd
        denacyd says:

        Sarah, I haven’t forgotten you! It’s been a rough week! When is a good time to call?

  3. Hoover
    Hoover says:

    I have been struggling in a difficult marriage where my husband is abusive. However I struggle with that whole stay with your husband thing vs divorce. Because I can’t divorce biblically it means he has cut me off financially forcing me to live on a pittance. I can’t get any money because I won’t divorce him. It seems crazy to me that God would leave me in such circumstances for doing his will.

    Reply
    • denacyd
      denacyd says:

      You are right! Heres the thing: God does not explicitly say you can divorce when your spouse is abusive, but he does say that you are valued, loved, treasured. He says you are worthy. He says you should be loved as Christ loved the church.

      Get out. If you are being abused, you are free to walk away. No matter what the curcumstances, divorce is not the unpardonable sin. God’s grace is big. And, i don’t even believe it is sin in an abusive situation or adulterous situation!

      The Bible says, “God hates divorce.” However, divorce is no worse than any other sin we have ever committed. What He hates is the actions of the unfaithful spouse (read the passage, Malachi 2). And, He hates the pain and widespread and long-lasting devastation that divorce causes.

      My ex-husband bordered on mental/emotional abuse (never physical). I only now realize how much my life was negatively impacted. I have never been healthier or happier in all my adult life. Don’t stay and suffer needlessly. God is a God of grace and mercy.

      Lord Jesus, give my dear sweet friend eyes to see your will and your way. Give her peace to know that your love, grace, and mercy are greater than any situation she is in. Give her courage to stand up for herself, to declare that she is valuable, your princess. Be her Jehovah Jireh, providing for her every need. Give her clarity for the days ahead. Guide her steps. Help her to know she is loved. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

      Reply
  4. Michael "Spike" Gonzalez
    Michael "Spike" Gonzalez says:

    Thank you for sharing, I know it is rough road, I am on similar road, I lost my marriage, apartment, car, precious sheltie dog, and good paying salary career as social worker due to alcoholism and unthinkable acts which affects everything. I had to relocate to live on GC Theological Seminary campus. I am thankful for their overwhelming support even I am only Deaf student on campus. My close friend coined me as “Deaf Job.” I has been clean almost two years and is currently motivated writer and avid photographer 🙂 God bless your journey!

    Reply
    • denacyd
      denacyd says:

      So excited for your journey! How wonderful that God has blessed you with two years of sobriety! Praise God! While I am sorry you have walked through the trials, I am excited that God has used it to draw you to him. What a blessing to have an amazing support system, too! Thanks so much for sharing. God bless!

      Reply
  5. Ric Tracy Roberts
    Ric Tracy Roberts says:

    It is not by chance that I came across this post… only God knows what we need and when we need it. I’ve had many tell me I was doing the wrong thing, that I needed to stand and I needed to pray.. I tried but things got worse not better so I left and prayed more and I believe in that time God cleared me to move on, Satan tried to tell me otherwise and tries to tell me I didn’t have enough faith to keep praying and stand and that I gave up on God but I can say today without a doubt he is a liar. I stood and I prayed and God answered. I have since remarried and it’s not easy but it is far from the adulterous relationship I left, God says stand and fight, so I do. I unlike you didn’t require that my divorce papers declare adultery as the grounds and I assume more than anything it was a pride issue. Thank you for using what Satan meant for bad to glorify God and let it be used for good. Thank you once again, I will take captive the voice of lies and cling to the truth. Tracy

    Reply
    • denacyd
      denacyd says:

      Thank you so much for sharing. I know so many who have been given the approval to walk away. And, I know how often we face condemnation and shame. I’ve been told that standing in prayer for reconciliation gives hope–to me and my kids. Honestly, the hope that we have is for a godly man to step in and love us as Christ loved the church. None of us gets that when we think of reconciliation.

      Stand strong, my friend! And thank you for your precious words of encouragement!!

      Reply
  6. MargieJ54
    MargieJ54 says:

    I married and divorced the same man twice. Our first divorce was not on the biblical grounds of adultery and soon thereafter the Spirit of Reconciliation was ever-present followed by reconciliation, Bibilical counseling, my ex’s salvation and remarriage. Sadly, our second divorce was based on adultery and an unrepentant heart. We’ve been divorced almost a year. I’ve forgiven my ex but still struggling to forgive God for allowing my life to end up this way after decades of marriage. Although my ex and I are on cordial speaking terms, I’ve seen no evidence or desire for reconciliation on either part. I feel I’ve been released. This was not my first choice and I struggle with depression because of the outcome, but it seems this time the door remains closed. I hate what divorce has done to my life, my kids, and my finances. Our adult kids avoid both of us like the plague. My ex is more self-destructive than ever. And I’m working two part time jobs and still unable to meet expenses. The only thing that remains the same in my life is my address.

    Reply
    • MargieJ54
      MargieJ54 says:

      I’ve also experienced rejection by Christian “friends” and acquaintances as well as receiving a letter from a church acquaintance, suggesting I repent and seek my ex’s forgiveness for impulsively divorcing him. WHAT??? My pastor wants me to stay at his congregation, so I’ve not yet sought out a new church, however I refuse to go back to where I had been attending because I feel I’m treated like I have the plague.

      Reply
      • denacyd
        denacyd says:

        Oh! My heart aches for you! I apologize on behalf of all “Christians” heaping guilt and condemnation upon you! I so wish I could reach out and wrap my arms around you, sit with you as you cry. I wish I could walk with you and encourage you on this journey. I wish I had words to take away all your hurt and pain!

        I so remember those days of anger at God, of wanting to walk away from my faith. Oh how my God relentlessly pursued me! I pray he also pursues you, shows you his unconditional love, restores everything–and more!

        Lord Jesus, wrap my friend in your arms. Use this horrendous trial to show her your great and mighty love and faithfulness. Refine her faith as she walks through the fire without letting her get burned. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

    • denacyd
      denacyd says:

      I am so very sorry for the trauma you have faced. Divorce is so very difficult. I can’t imagine all of the pain you have been through, holding on only to have your heart trampled again. I understand the fight to forgive God, to keep the faith. I pray that he will passionately and relentlessly pursue you, that he will give you a glimpse of the amazing future he has planned for you. I pray that he will restore your relationship with your kids. I pray that he will step in and be Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides. I pray that he will give you joy and allow you to experience the abundant life God came to give. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

      Reply
      • Sarah Hairston
        Sarah Hairston says:

        I recently kicked my husband out because of his constant unfaithfulness for the whole 4 years weve been together.he admitted to me that he has a problem that he loves women.i thought I could deal with it in hopes that someday he would allow GOD to change him.but after hearing him confess to me that he married me because I was more established than other women from his past was the only reason he married me not for the main reason love.i am feeling really sad and depressed right now because I am wondering if I made the right choice by kicking him out or should I have stayed with him and kept praying for his deliverance being I am a Christian an he is not.i really miss him an love him but I am tired of dealing with his unfaithfulness.i feel so lonely inside.please pray for me!!!!!!I feel like begging him back but I know if I do that would make him feel more justified to keep doing what he does. if anyone wants to personally talk with me you can reach me at 276-632-2441 after 10 am.i feel really desperate right now im not ashamed to say I need help!!!

      • denacyd
        denacyd says:

        10 am… What time zone? Tomorrow? Please know you are in my prayers. I will try to call tomorrow. Please, please, find a church…a pastor…a friend. They can point you in the right direction.

  7. Troy Jantz
    Troy Jantz says:

    I enjoyed your thoughts. There are many views out there as you said, I have only found that one must remain true to that conviction God has given him/her, for it is only before God that we will give an account. I was divorced after 3 years of marriage to my high school sweetheart . We dated for 2 years prior. S he was a great gal, I wasn’t a good husband. I didn’t cheat, sexually, but have come to understand that I was cheating on her and my son because I allowed drugs, alcohol and friends to keep me from being whom God wanted me to be! After I lost ‘everything’, I simply drowned myself even more to the point of almost dying. I knew too much, from accepting Jesus as my Savior when I was 14, to want to die that way. He graciously picked me up out of that fog and haze 11 years ago after more than 15 years of addictions.
    My focus is on following Jesus, and if that means marriage again someday, great! But, if not, that’s great too, because whatever He has for me is what I believe will be best.

    Reply
    • denacyd
      denacyd says:

      What a beautiful testimony. Thank you for sharing. I hate that you lost everything, but in reality you found so much more! I love that you have such a sense of contentment–regardless of circumstances. Keep drawing close to him. He will provide a beautiful future! God bless!

      Reply
  8. Kim
    Kim says:

    I have been seeking the answers you have provided so beautifully in this article!! BLESS YOU for sharing God’s truth in such a clear way about a topic that has been so difficult to navigate for me after the end of my 22 year marriage.

    My heart is more peaceful now than it has been in the 3 years since I left the marriage. BLESS YOU!!!!

    Reply
    • denacyd
      denacyd says:

      Oh! You put such a smile on my face! No greater blessing than to know that God can use my words to encourage others. Bless you as you walk this path, as your heart continues to heal. I know he has an amazing future for you!!

      Reply
  9. sarah
    sarah says:

    i have been married for almost 3 years I am a Christian but my husband is unsaved.i have been dealing with his unfaithfulness the whole time weve been together an it never stops.i am tired of dealing with this situation over an over again.he finallyadmitted to me he has a problem he loves women.we have been to about 12 counselors an nothing seems to be doing any good I feel like he thinks he can continue to cheat an say im sorry I wont do it again only to do it again,,hes taking advantage of me over an over.he has supposedly moved out but after I asked him to leave or I will call police.but he still wants to be married an resume a relationship with the condition that he keeps his place but stays at my home as well but not paying any bills at my home.i thinks he is still trying to have his cake an eat it too.i don’t know what to do I feel so used an abused I have been praying for direction for my life in this situation please help me !!!

    Reply
    • denacyd
      denacyd says:

      You ARE being used and abused! And, he will continue until you get strong and stand up to him. You are worth so much more! You are a princess, a child of the One True King! He wants you to be loved as Christ loved the church. He wants your husband to be willing to lay down his life for you! Sweet friend, you have every right to walk away from this abusive situation. He needs serious help. If he is not ready to change his life, please don’t enable him. It very well may be time to walk away.

      Lord Jesus, I lift my friend Sarah to you. I hear the pain and anguish in her voice. She is in desperate need of hearing your voice, your direction. Give her wisdom to know the path she should take. Give her strength and courage to stand firm. Provide for her every need. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

      Reply
  10. lessonsbyheart
    lessonsbyheart says:

    Oh, dear sister. It sounds like the Pharisees have had a go at you. I am so sorry.

    I’ve actually experienced both types of marriages: one where The Lord walked me out of ten years of hell, and one where He asked me to stay put and trust Him to work things out (my recent “issue” with Him).

    The first one got me kicked out of fellowship by the pastor. The second one got me called into the pastor’s office and told that because we were in leadership we weren’t to have problems. I needed to keep quiet because I was making them look bad. :-/

    In December, God began to move. First it was a new church for us, then it was a move on our marriage. For the first time in nearly two decades I have hope.

    Only God truly knows the facts and motives. He alone is able to judge accurately. I praise Him for releasing me from the one…and, in time, will praise Him for what He is doing in and through us in this one.

    In the meantime, the words of Jesus ring in my ears for those who believe they know God’s will for me: “Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they’re doing.”

    In the future, send any of your critics my way. I’ll straighten them out!

    Carry on, sweet one. You are dearly loved.

    \o/

    Reply
    • denacyd
      denacyd says:

      Thank you so much for your precious words of encouragement! I learned with my very first taste of a large audience that I must be ready for the criticisms if I plan to live out loud! I find myself overflowing with righteous anger, mostly for those who are suffering the pain of divorce without a firm foundation in faith. I am learning to stand up (I tend to let people walk over me) and courageous call, “Pharisee!”

      I will be praying for you and your marriage! God bless!

      Reply
      • lessonsbyheart
        lessonsbyheart says:

        Check out Isaiah 51:23. I didn’t realize that God first coined the phrase … And doesn’t expect this from us!

      • denacyd
        denacyd says:

        You are right! I definitely think he’s calling me to learn to stand up boldly! Not easy for a timid by nature kind of person. In his strength…

  11. misty meadows
    misty meadows says:

    Love this. I am one who was called to stand and God has faithfully made reconciliation possible, when it seemed impossible. It was not an easy road, but it is the one that God delivered us through and I am so grateful for it. Even though that is my story, I always tell others going through it to find out what God has called you to do. Seek Him out in prayer, and His word and then obey what He is calling YOU to. Your story will not be mine. My story is not like any other. As long as it lines up biblically, God will use all of our stories in different ways to reach different people. During the very dark days, when things were at there worst I did not know what God had in store for me. The only thing I knew was that if I remained faithful to Him my deliverance would come. I did not know if that meant reconciliation, or peace and blessing as a single person again, or a new spouse down the line. For me though, I was never released from fighting for my husband. In my circumstances drug use was the primary issue, and all of the other things that happened were a result of that – and so I clearly heard God tell me at first that he would not deliver me from the fire, but through it …and then that the Devil comes to steal, kill and destroy – and at that time he had succeeded in all but death – and to all who looked on it was apparent it was knocking at the door and so I was praying for my husbands life….and then that He (God) would rebuild my family stone by stone (it was a brutal reconciliation process as we have and are being rebuilt). It was all for His glory, but I know that is not the path that He calls others too. I ran into the opposite situation, where it seems that so many were coming up to me and telling me of their wonderful stories of being blessed with new spouses and how much happier they are since they left. The enemy can be tricky that way, in bringing people into your life to try to get your focus off of what God has called YOU to do. It has made me much more sensitive to others choices. If I know they are praying and seeking God, and their choices align with biblical principals then I try to choose my words carefully these days so that they would not have cause to say “get behind me Satan” . I also always tell others to be careful about the counsel you surround yourself with when you are in the middle of trials. Great post to remind us all that Gods ways are higher then our ways, and what a blessing that He leads us all down so many different paths of healing and restoration – but He is always faithful. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    • denacyd
      denacyd says:

      Bless you!! It truly becomes exhausting to face the critics trying to force their theology on me. I know what God has told me. I know that he has set me free. I only wish we as Christians would all step back to realize that God leads each of us on our own paths. I know how much healthier and happier my kids and I are. I know that I am following my Savior to the best of my ability. I know I stand approved and redeemed by him.

      What a wonderful testimony you have! I pray that God continues to bless you, strengthen you, encourage you as you continue the process of rebuilding your family. Thank you so much for sharing! God bless!

      Reply
  12. TJ Hoverman
    TJ Hoverman says:

    Right on! I too have had people sending me all the websites for standing. My reply is I don’t know right now. I do not feel convicted to stand. I also know that me feelings are in the way. I know that God will tell me at some point. He has great things for me, and I think I need to be single for a time. I’m not standing, just waiting on direction. He knows if she is coming back. I am confident that He would direct our reconciliation if it was his best for me. You are right on. Listen to what He is telling you to do. Pull close and develop a closeness with Him. Only then will you know to ‘stand’ or be released.

    Reply
    • denacyd
      denacyd says:

      Hang in there! In the early days, I told God that I would do anything…except reconcile. I had endured enough and wanted no part. My heart has since softened and I will do anything for my Savior. However, he has shown me that he is doing something new in my life (Isaiah 43:18-19).

      God does have great things for you! Make sure you take plenty of time to let God heal you. Let him do the amazing work in you so he can put together that amazing work he has planned for you!

      God bless!

      Reply
  13. Mom three
    Mom three says:

    Beautiful post. Unfortunately many similarities. I recall I was one to stand in the gap, but it was my pride… Not for His glory. Even now not sure what my future holds but know only I do not want to be with anyone who will separate me from The Lord as our situation developed. Thank you for your work. God Bless your work in all that you do.

    Reply
    • denacyd
      denacyd says:

      Oh, dear friend! Hang in there! I know God has great plans for you! Dig into the word. Draw close to him. He will lead you and direct you–and use it all for his glory! God bless you!

      Reply

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