Finding Beauty in Brokenness

When I was walking through my divorce, I was so alone, isolated. Yes, I had (and continue to have) an amazing family who did so much to pull me through the depths of my despair. But, no one truly understood my pain and grief and fears.

I did my best to put one foot in front of the other, to put a smile on my face and move forward in life. I tried to be strong for my kids. Truth is, I was crumbling. As I crawled into bed alone at night, I found myself crying myself to sleep night after night.

Lonely. Afraid. Shattered.

So many thoughts drifting through my mind. Worrying about my children. Wondering how I would be able to handle the financial burdens.

And then there was my faith. What I once considered my greatest strength was suddenly gone. Vanished in the midst of the pain and devastation. I was ready to walk away from God, the church, my faith, as I struggled to make sense of how a God of love could allow pain that struck at the depth of my being.

I was alone to contemplate all of these thoughts, to try to make sense of the world that had crumbled around me.

By the grace of God, I came through. He pursued me relentlessly, showing me that He was near the broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18). He fought for my affections when the one human who had pledged to love me forever walked away. He showed me a vision for a future far greater than anything I ever imagined. He promised my pain would not be in vain.

I was so blessed to have God Himself come alongside me, to soften my heart and carry me through the journey. On this side, I can see the many people He put in my path to give me just the word of encouragement I needed, to provide the needed boost at just the right time.

Now, it’s my turn.

I write because God has given me a passion to help others walking through similar grief to what I experienced. I speak out to comfort others with the comfort I have received (2 Corinthians 1:4). I share my story because I never want anyone to feel the judgment of the church as I did.

But I want to do more. So. Much. More.

My heart’s desire is to buy houses and allow single moms to live in them while they get back on their feet. I want to be a coach to help lay out a path to the abundant life God has promised. I want to be a voice speaking out in defense of those who have suffered the pain and devastation of losing a spouse.

There’s a big vision and a lot of work ahead of me. There’s a lot of miracles God is going to have to do to bring this vision to reality. While I wait for Him to take care of the God-sized tasks, I can start where I am.

First, I don’t want anyone to feel as if they are on this journey alone. I don’t want anyone to feel so alone when they lie down in bed at night.

I want every single one of you to know you have a friend. I want you to feel that you have a coach who has gone before you, successfully navigating the waters of abuse and adultery and divorce to find a new and abundant life. I want you to have the hope that God has given me.

And so…

Maybe you are where I was ten years ago as I watched my marriage crumble. If so, I want you to join me on a journey, a journey to healing and hope.

Starting in March, I would like to offer a group video coaching call. This group will be limited in size, preferably a group of approximately ten women who are walking a similar path. We will meet monthly for six months (initially) by video for coaching, community, and comfort. We will also have a private group on Facebook where we can communicate with one another, share our fears and praises throughout the month.

In addition, you will get a monthly one-on-one coaching call with me. During this call, we can talk about whatever topic you might have, wherever your heart may be at the time. Whether it is a struggle with faith or fears about dating, you will have the opportunity to bounce ideas off of me personally each month.

I am offering the monthly video call, online support group, plus a one-hour coaching session for $75. In other words, you get a one-hour monthly call, a community to help you through your pain, an online support group for the normal cost of a one-hour coaching session.

This group is an opportunity for you to know you aren’t alone, to have a community come alongside you and walk you through this journey. This group is about encouragement, about knowing God is still in control even when it seems as if your life is crumbling. This group is the opportunity to discuss such difficult topics as forgiveness, single parenting, dating, faith. It’s an opportunity to have a safe place to share your deepest fears without judgement.

If you are interested in joining this group, please send me an email at [email protected] with “LIFE COACHING GROUP” in the subject line.

I will send you an application for the group and then schedule a time to speak with you so we can have the most cohesive group we can.

I know God has great plans for you. Will you begin the healing process with us?