I Left a Piece of My Heart at OC

Ten years ago when I started this journey, college was nowhere on my radar.

This past weekend, my baby–the youngest of my three children–moved off to college. I am honestly still in shock, uncertain how it’s even possible that she’s is 18 and a high school graduate. But, here we are, watching my baby leave the nest.

We only pray she soars like an eagle!

Cassie has chosen to attend Oklahoma Christian, a small, private school about 45 minutes away from our home. We had always assumed she would attend Oklahoma Baptist University, but unfortunately it just wasn’t in the cards. OC has the same feel, the same beautiful campus, the same sense of community. Although I wasn’t ready for her to leave home, I am very thankful for the school she chose.

Today was her first day of class. I received the obligatory first day of school picture, and I received a text to recap her day:

“I had four classes today which consisted of playing piano and singing the whole time which was amazing and then after my second choir rehearsal I did my homework which was playing piano, and then I got Chick-fil-A on my way to my dorm #livingdream”

My heart soared to hear her so happy!

She later called to give me an update on her vocal lessons. Her coach was impressed with her vocal agility and her range. For the girl who started singing as soon as she could formulate words, there is nothing better than spending her days making music! And for a mom who wants nothing more than to see her kids happy, there is nothing better than hearing the joy and excitement in her voice.

I miss my girl.

I miss seeing her every day.

I miss harassing her about her dirty room.

I miss her quirkiness.

I miss her laughter.

I miss having her friends come and go.

I miss her encouragement.

And oh how I miss hearing her sing at all hours of the night!

But, I am so happy to know that she is growing and becoming the woman of God that He created her to be!

It is definitely a time of transition–for all of us. No matter how happy she is. No matter how excited we are for her future. No matter how confident we are that she is following God’s plan for her life.

It is a time of transition–and the tears can flow with little warning.

There are many of us who have poured our lives into our kids. We have raised them as single moms, with every aspect of our lives revolving around them and their needs. We’ve put our own hopes and dreams on hold to give them the best life we possibly can.

And suddenly, our jobs are done. Suddenly, we aren’t sure where we fit in this life. Suddenly, almost without warning, we find ourselves wondering who we are, what is our purpose in this world.

As I move into this new season of life, I am clinging to the four parts of Ephesians 2:10.

I am a masterpiece. I know sometimes as we face transitions, we lose our identity. It’s so important that we remember who we are in Christ Jesus, that He looks down and sees us as His masterpiece. We aren’t some outdated work of art that can easily be cast away; we are a work of art! Priceless! Valuable. A work of art that cost our Father a high price, the life of His son. Nothing we experience in this life can change our value in His eyes.

I am created anew in Christ Jesus. We all know that we are a new creation in Christ Jesus, that when we give Him our hearts and lives, he makes us new. But have you ever thought about how He makes us anew over and over throughout our lives? Have you considered how He carries us through experiences and uses them to point the world back to Him in new ways? Have you thought about how He is constantly weaving the seemingly unrelated events of our lives together into a beautiful mosaic that is constantly changing and evolving? In each new season of life, He does new things. He makes us anew over and over.

I was created for good works. The good works He has planned for me include raising my kids, but that is only one facet of the good works He has planned for me. I can’t lose sight of the fact that mom is only one facet of the purpose He has for me. His plans for me continue throughout my life, as long as there is breath in my lungs. This new season of life only requires that I dig into my relationship with Him to figure out what He has for me now.

God planned my life in advance. Nothing that happens in this life has taken God by surprise. He knew my first husband would have an affair. He knew I would raise my kids as a single mom. He knew my baby girl would have a beautiful voice that the world needs to hear. (In case you haven’t heard it before, you can hear her here or here.)He knew every detail before it ever happened. And, He knows what my future holds. He knows the beauty that I will find as I walk into this new season of life. And, He can’t wait to surprise me with what’s around the corner.

That’s an exciting them to contemplate as I move into a new season–one brimming with good things that could only come from my Heavenly Father.