#Exhaustion

Have you ever been so exhausted you just didn’t think you could keep going?

Back in my single mom days, I remember a time where I simply crashed. I had the kids full-time. I was working full-time. I was juggling so many balls at once.

I walked in one day to find a house full of kids and my kitchen flooded. It was the last straw. After yelling at everyone ( including my dad), I disappeared to my room. To my closet. Where my kids found me curled in the fetal position. In a corner. Sobbing hysterically.

I simply. Could. Not.

Can I let you in on a little secret?

I feel like I’m getting back to that place.

I try to keep moving forward, putting one foot in front of the other.

I try to keep a smile on my face, to be the encouraging voice for others.

I cry out to God, asking Him to renew my Spirit as I attempt to wait on Him.

Some days, I do pretty well. I feel like I’m keeping things going. I feel like I’m moving forward. I feel God’s presence.

Other days – like today – I find myself on the verge of tears all. Day. Long.

I think if the right conversation takes place, I’m simply going to fall apart.

And someone will find me in the corner of my closet, curled in the fetal position, sobbing my eyes out.

I really don’t even know what is causing the exhaustion. I do know I’ve been through a four-month period of supporting my son while he went through a grueling academy for work. I do know my job has been a mental and emotional roller coaster over the last few months.

But everything else? It’s mostly good. Really good. I am blessed with a wonderful marriage. I am blessed with three adult kids who are excelling. I am finally getting back into shape physically. I have a good job that mostly allows me a good work-life balance. But, despite all the good, there are days I barely have the energy to stay awake. I struggle with to sleep. I never feel like there’s enough of me to go around.

Have you been there? Are you there with me now?

If you are feeling exhausted, here’s a few questions to ask yourself, questions that I am asking myself:

Are you moving in your purpose? Have you ever done something and walked away absolutely energized? If so, you know what it is to have a passion and a purpose. For me, meeting with a single mom, having the opportunity to encourage and guide her toward healing and wholeness, absolutely thrills my soul! I have an energy that can’t be described, and I feel fulfilled beyond anything else this life has to offer.

If you aren’t moving in your purpose, you will feel drained. Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your life, to see what changes you can  incorporate into your life to better move in your purpose. Maybe you need to find a job in an area that is energizing. Maybe you need to find a ministry where you can volunteer your time. Maybe it’s a simple change. Maybe it’s a life-altering change. Either way, moving within your purpose will help fill your soul and pour energy into your life.

Are you resting sufficiently? Rest is mentioned in the Bible 831 times. God commanded us to work for six days and rest on the seventh every single week. God commanded that we even allow the land to rest for the entirety of every seventh year. And, after seven sevens–or 49 years–the land was to rest for another year called the year of jubilee.

Rest has never been optional, but I think many of us treat it as optional. Our days are packed with work and kid activities. Our weekends are filled with activity. We may set aside Sunday as a day of worship, but we still cook and clean and grocery shop and do all of the things we didn’t accomplish during our week.

It’s no wonder we are exhausted.

Maybe the question becomes how can we incorporate more rest into our lives? Is there something we can–and should–cut out of our lives. Is there an activity that can be eliminated? Is there a calendar adjustment that can be made to carve out more time to rest? If so, we need to prioritize that rest.

Are you surrounding yourself with people who fill your cup? God designed us to live in community. Oh, I know. I’m an introvert too. I need time alone, time to read and just be. But, I also need people. People who love me. People who support me. People who encourage me. People who sharpen me as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17).

If you are trying to do life on your own, you aren’t following God’s way. Find your tribe. Those people who love you. Those people who point you back to the giver of rest.

Are you trusting God? Is your heart troubled? Put your hope in God because that’s where we find His peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). When our minds are fixed on Him, we are living in His perfect peace (Isaiah 26:3). When our thoughts are fixed on Him, our lives are characterized by a peace that relieves our anxieties and our fears and allows us to rest, even in the midst of chaos.

Will you join me as we seek to take His yoke upon us where we will find rest (Matthew 11:28-29)?