To New Beginnings

“Do not remember the former things,
Nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19

A new year is upon us. Let’s be honest: I don’t know where 2023 went. It passed so very quickly. Maybe it’s because we were busy. Maybe it’s because we are getting older. I don’t really know, but it came and went before I knew what hit me.

We are on the cusp of something new. A new year means new beginnings. It means a fresh page, fresh hope. It means the opportunity to start over, to change what needs to be changed. Much like the prophet Isaiah said in chapter 43, God is about to do something new. Let’s put the past behind us and focus on what God has in this new chapter.

I feel these words at the very core of my being. I’m on the verge of a new chapter of life, something totally different.

I’ve told you over the last few months how God was leading me to take a step of faith, but today I want to share the full story with you.

When I was just a young child, God called me to ministry. I have never doubted that is my purpose in life. Never once. When my marriage fell apart and I lost my position as pastor’s wife, it was a devastating loss. I struggled greatly with whether God could or would use me–a divorced woman–in ministry ever again. Ultimately, He reminded me that His will and His call are irrevocable (Romans 11:29).

I earned my nursing license shortly after my divorce was finalized, and I found an outlet for my desire to minister to people. I remember one precious man who was so upset he would spend Easter Sunday in the hospital. I made him my final morning assessment. After giving his meds and ensuring all my patients were safe, I knelt by his bed as we read the Resurrection story together. It was a beautiful moment of connection when we could share that common treasure of our Savior.

After a few years at the bedside, I transitioned into a five-day workweek with less patient interaction, but it was also about the time I started this blog. I found so much healing in writing and sharing my story, and my blog became an outlet for my need to be in ministry.

As the years have passed, I have often found myself longing to work full-time in serving people in a ministry. I have often struggled to get out of bed, to go about my job because it is exactly that: a JOB. It’s not a passion; it is a paycheck. It’s something I have to do to provide for my family.

This summer, God really began to stir within me. First, I had a college friend do a presentation on the Peace Index, a book he wrote. It’s a simple concept, but it made it so clear as to why I am so discontent with my work. To put it simply, I am not functioning in my God-given purpose. I am good at what I do. I have opportunity to love on my team (which gives meaning to my work). But it simply is not what God created me to do.

Shortly after this presentation, I attended a prayer and prophecy night. I honestly had no idea what to expect. As a good little Southern Baptist, I tend to be somewhat skeptical of some of the more charismatic beliefs such as speaking in tongues and words of prophecy (although I am far more open than ever before). On this particular night, a lady I had never met spoke a word of prophecy over me. She began by telling me things about me she never could have known. Shen then continued by asking me about my job. I told her I hoped to work three more years (my plan) and be in a position to leave for something more meaningful by the time my daughter graduates from college. Her words were simple: “Holy Spirit says if you want to stay three more years, He will honor that. However, He says it is ok to quit now.”

I walked out a little perplexed. I began to share the story with my husband. He kind of smiled and said, “Do you remember I told you I was praying something but I wouldn’t tell you what it is? I’ve been praying you would quit your job. I can see the toll it is taking on you.”

At this point I found myself perplexed. We have a mortgage and a child still in college. We have responsibilities. Yes, I dream of having a coaching business, of helping people transform their lives. But, I can’t just quit my job. Besides, I absolutely love my team! I love being a safe space for them.

I allowed these events to marinate in my heart and mind for several months. One morning while I was out praying and walking, I sensed so clearly God telling me that He was about to test me and that if I would be faithful, it would be a gateway to greater blessings than I ever imagined. I knew it would be a financial test, but I had no idea what was about to hit.

Two weeks later, it was announced that as a manager, I would be expected to return to the office five days each week. I know. It’s post-Covid, and many organizations are returning to the office. For me, however, my ability to work from home was the single most important benefit of my job. It allowed me to have some semblance of work/life balance, and it provided a tremendous amount of peace in my life. Not only that, but the office is nearly an hour each way, much farther than I am personally willing to drive. After all, that’s ten hours/week, 520 hours in a year, or thirteen 40-hour work weeks. That’s a lot of extra commitment to a job!

Over the last few months as I’ve listened to God and struggled to understand His call on my life, I have become firmly convinced that it is indeed time for me to leave my job. It has been a hard decision, but I’ve done a lot of soul-searching. God has made it clear that He is my Provider, and that my job is to get my security from Him, not my paycheck. It’s not an easy thing to do, but I have chosen obedience. I am stepping away and into a new future.

A new future that only God can create!