When Fear Flies High

I am a firm believer that we should not live our lives by fear.

When my kids were young, I tried to find ways to ensure they had courage to face fear. My safe way of teaching to live in bravery was to take them to amusement parks and put them on every possible roller coaster. And yes, I jumped on with them.

It’s probably been ten years since I was on a roller coaster. In fairness, there’s several reasons including a spinal fusion. Probably not the wisest choice for me at this stage in my life. But, what I’ve found is that I seem to be allowing fear to have a grip on my life.

Fear is a normal part of life and can be healthy for us. Fear keeps us from entering dangerous situations. Fear can keep us away from danger.

But fear can also keep us from living life to the fullest extent possible. Fear can keep us in our comfort zone where we never allow ourselves to grow because of complacency.

Last week, Cassie was on spring break from college, and she wanted to go on a quick road trip. After throwing out several options, we decided to drive down to Texas to see Blake, my oldest son. We had one objective: to fly with him.

Roy and I have been to Texas several times, and the weather has never allowed us to fly with our own personal pilot. But, Tuesday was wonderful weather! We called Blake to see how his schedule looked, and then we took out on a leisurely drive to Texas (the 3-hour drive took us 6 hours). When we pulled up at the airport where Blake works, Cassie looked at the planes.

“That’s what we are flying?” she asked. “They are so small.”

Meanwhile, I was calm. I knew what kind of planes Blake flies, and I had actually flown in one when I was a child. No big deal.

As we got ready to get in the plane, Cassie claimed shotgun (if you can call shotgun in a plane). Blake actually put her in the pilot seat, and he hopped into the flight instructor seat. I, on the other hand, climbed into the back seat with the emesis bag Blake secured for me.

“Cassie, do you want to take off?” Blake asked.

  In my head, I know Blake flies with students every single day. We had actually stood near the runway and watched him land with a first-time student, a student who had never been in the pilot seat before that day and had actually taken off with his very first flight. He’s told me stories of how he has complete control of the plane even when a student is in the pilot seat.

And he’s been praised for his amazing pilot skills! Instructing has made him a much better pilot. He’s worked so hard and now has over 1000 hours of flight time–only 500 more to reach his goal of reaching the regional airlines.

But…

Have you taught your kids to drive? Do you remember what it’s like to get in a car with your child as a brand new driver-in-training? Do you remember feeling the lack of control when your child is driving and you are in the passenger seat?

I’ll just admit it right here: I am a terrible passenger. I feel much more secure in the driver’s seat.

Now, multiply those feelings times a billion! My child is in the driver’s seat of an airplane! We are 3000 feet above the ground. He’s letting my 19-year-old daughter fly a plane and she’s barely even been in a passenger jet (not to mention she doesn’t qualify to be a pilot because of her epilepsy diagnosis). My two babies (aren’t they always our babies) are in complete control of my life and safety some 3000 feet above the ground in a plane that is barely larger than my Honda!

I didn’t handle the flight very well. We were in the air for all of about 35 minutes. He wanted to do some maneuvers–steep turns and figure 8s and stalls–and I simply wasn’t going for it. While the two of them were in the front seat loving every minute of the adventure, I gave myself a headache from the death grip I had on both sides of the back seat.

They finally decided to take me back to the airport to give me some relief from the extreme stress I was experiencing.

Since our little adventure, I’ve done a lot of thinking about fear. There’s no doubt I was controlled by fear during that short flight. I think as I get older, I simply don’t have much tolerance for adventure. I much prefer to sit on a beach and just enjoy the peace and quiet, the calming sound of the waves beating against the shore.

But God has been speaking to me. Maybe it’s not just adventures like flying. Instead, I find myself struggling to move forward in life. I seem to be afraid to put myself out there even when I know the pay-offs could be huge.

An example?

Roy and I feel strongly about the need to make some changes in our lives. We desire to live lives of adventure, lives not bound by our American culture. We want to find freedom that lets us be in the driver’s seat of our lives, living our lives to the fullest. But, I always seem to be held back by my risk averse nature. Roy is ready to charge ahead, while I am holding us back.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
    do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
    and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6

I sometimes have to ask myself: Are you seeking God? Are you following His path? Do you really trust Him? Because here’s the thing: If God is for us, no one can be against us (Romans 8:31). My heart desires to live life to the fullest (John 10:10), and that means I must take some risks. But, if I am following God and doing what He has called me to do, is it really a risk? Not if I believe His word to me. Not if I believe His character.

What is God calling you to do? What risk are you struggling to take? Where is fear holding you back? Let’s jump in the plane and soar above this world!