A Letter To My Husband On Our 7th Anniversary

Dear Roy,

Wow! It’s hard to believe it has been seven years! In some ways, it seems like forever. Maybe that’s because we have known each other for so long. Maybe it’s because you had become my best friend long before you became my husband. Maybe it’s because you can act like a toddler! And you know I love the toddler Roy as much as I love the adult Roy!

I’m sitting here reflecting on how far we’ve come. Let’s be honest: Those first few years were rough! We had so much coming against us. There was so much trauma and grief. Between kids grieving the loss of their dad and you losing your dad, we were overwhelmed. Throw in court battles and a pandemic and trying to blend two families and adding on to the house. I really don’t know how we made it. It truly is the grace of God.

Those early years, we were both carrying so much baggage. So much pain. So much fear. I’m not sure either of us was fully in. I am so thankful for the work God has done in our lives! It truly is as if I am married to a completely different man than I was even three years ago! Thank you so much for loving me enough to learn to go all in.

You are such a blessing! And it’s not just to me! You are a blessing to the kids. I love how they love you! I always say you know they love you because they pick on you relentlessly! From the dinners where they imitate you to the jokes they make at your expense. Oh, how you are loved!

And you love them so well! Even as I type these words, you are off on an adventure with Cassie! Not many men would jump in the truck at 5:00 in the evening, knowing you were embarking on a journey that will leave you exhausted. But, that’s who you are. You can’t bear to let them down. You go above and beyond to show them they are loved. And it makes me love you even more. They feel so comfortable asking you because they feel secure in their relationship with you.

I never knew what it meant to be loved as Christ loved the church until you came along. Your love is so sacrificial! You would give me the world if you could! Your answer is always, “Yes! Let’s figure it out together!” I don’t think anyone can out give you!

Your heart is so tender and kind! It’s a rare occasion to hear a negative word come out of your mouth. You are my tigger-like person, the one who brings so much joy and laughter! You bounce around and live life with so much enthusiasm! You never fail to put a smile on my face.

I can’t even start to say thank you for loving me! I can’t ever thank you enough for pursuing me relentlessly and never giving up–even after eight years of being relegated to the friend zone. I can’t thank you enough for not listening to your friends who said it would never work. I can’t thank you enough for loving me so much that you were willing to turn your back on the life you once lived.

I love to reflect on all of the ways God was in this crazy journey from the beginning. From that first accidental message I sent you on Facebook to the verses God gave me. It was God’s timing. Even more importantly, it was you letting God work in your life, returning to your first love. I love how you have chosen to surrender to the Holy Spirit and let Him mold you into His image!

These last two years have been so unbelievably fulfilling! Even though we’ve been married for seven years, it’s the last two where we’ve allowed God to truly do His work. Thank you for giving God permission to do surgery, to change your heart, to help you go all in. It is obvious every day the change that has taken place in you.

We talk often about how we are just beginning! We are full of hope for the days to come, feeling as if we’ve only begun to scratch the surface of what God has for us! We are filled with anticipation for all God has planned! I am thankful to have you on this journey with me!

As we enter year eight, here’s what I want you to know:

You are worthy. I know you haven’t always felt like you were worthy. You’ve had people tear you down, and you’ve struggled to get those words out of your mind. I will always see you as worthy. You are worthy of being loved–by me, by the kids. You are worthy of the best this world has to offer. You are worthy because you are you–exactly who God created you to be!

You are loved. I can’t even start to tell you how much you are loved. You are even liked–most of the time! You are loved by me. You are loved by the kids. You are loved by God. I think even my Grandpa Sid has decided you are a pretty good guy! 😉

I am excited for our future. We are so incredibly blessed! At every turn, I see the blessings of God poured out over us. But, there’s so much more to come! Sometimes I get anxious. Thank you for being patient with me as I struggle to believe there’s so much more! Ultimately, I know God has great plans. And there’s no one I would rather have by my side.

I’m so glad it was you. There’s a scene in the movie You’ve Got Mail where Tom Hanks reveals himself to Meg Ryan. After realizing she was the girl of his dreams, Tom Hanks sets out to win her heart, even though they’ve been enemies. Every time I watch that movie, I see us. Just as Meg Ryan did everything she could to run from Hanks, Hanks pursued her relentlessly. It’s the picture of you and me. At the end of the movie, Ryan says with tears in her eyes, “I wanted it to be you.” I’m so glad it was you.

Thank you, Roy, for being my Royfriend. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for loving a broken woman, broken children. Thank you for helping us be made whole again. Thank you for proving to us that there really are good men out there!

Happy anniversary, sweetheart! I love you!