The Man God Chose

Today, I was out walking when I received the sweetest text from my husband. “God is in control and He has won the battles for us. You’re making a difference and you’re going to change the world!”

Can I just tell you that my heart was overcome with faith and gratitude in that moment? You see, I haven’t always had a husband who truly fights for my highest good. I haven’t always had a husband who loves me and encourages me like no other. I haven’t always had a husband who sees my potential and lovingly pushes me out of my comfort zone.

I have been married to my sweet husband for seven years. We both have had very difficult pasts when it comes to marriage. We have experienced all kinds of betrayals and heartaches. We’ve made our share of mistakes. We’ve had to learn to love and trust again through the pain of grief and loss.

Our seven years of marriage have been anything but sunshine and unicorns. The first five years were marred with death and grief, child custody battles, the bondage of sin, and decisions no parent should ever have to make. There were many times in the first five years where I wanted to throw in the towel as we navigated the messy blended life we have.

Can I tell you I am so glad neither of us gave up?

The last two years have been marked with such joy! We have seen growth in so many ways. We have an intimacy and a joy we weren’t sure we would ever find. And, I am blessed with the sweet texts each and every day, reminding me I am valued and loved and supported. I know my husband is my biggest cheerleader!

As I finished my walk this morning, I found myself smiling as I reflected on God’s grace to give me the amazing husband I have. I don’t know where you find yourself today. Maybe you are single wondering if a good man will ever come along. Maybe you are a wife who is struggling in her marriage. Maybe you are a man who wants desperately to be a better husband. I encourage you to look for these qualities in a man, or to develop these qualities if you are a man.

A man of integrity. A good man has integrity. He wants to be the same in public as he is in private. His private life is an open book. There’s nothing hidden. No secret conversations. No secret sins. He is willing to hand over all passwords and never hesitates to share his phone or conversation with you. There’s so much more to integrity, but in this day of technology, that’s a starting point. The key is his heart longs to be pure, to be laid bare in front of others.

A man of encouragement. I am so grateful for a man who encourages me! I know he is in my corner, that he is for me. And it’s not just me. He has a kind word of encouragement for others. His heart is one that wants to see others succeed. Knowing he is in my corner gives me the courage to step out of my fear and believe in myself as well.

A man who pushes beyond the comfort zone. My husband doesn’t just encourage me, but he pushes me in a good way. He knows it’s easy to get stuck in my head, that my personality thrives in routine and comfort. He also knows we grow and experience the goodness of God when we get out of our comfort zone. He doesn’t want to see me settle for less than God’s best.

A man who stands strong in battle. My husband has been on the literal battlefield. He is a veteran of the United States military who has seen his share of deployments to a war zone. I know those memories are always in the back of his mind. But, I also know he won’t back down from the enemy. I know he is going to stand strong in fighting for our good. Maybe it’s a sin or someone that comes against us. Or maybe it is just the enemy of our souls fighting to destroy our testimony. I know my husband will stand strong.

A man who mourns with his beloved. I can’t even start to tell you the grief we have experienced in our seven years. My children lost their father shortly before we started dating. My husband lost his dad less than a year into our marriage. We are well acquainted with grief. I know I can grieve loss with my husband, and he will be by my side. He will be my shoulder to cry on, my strength when I am weak. I am so incredibly blessed.

A man who rejoices with his beloved. I don’t even remember what happened, but I found myself collapsing to the ground in laughter. My husband was right by my side. When I recently saw God provide in a miraculous way, it was my husband who was celebrating right alongside me. When my kids experience wins, he is first in line to share their victories. It’s wonderful to know I have a man who celebrates others—not just himself.

A man who prays with and for his beloved. Every morning, my husband asks how he can pray for me. And he truly prays! Are we perfect? Absolutely not. But, I know I can trust my husband with my deepest thoughts and fears and needs. I can trust he will bring them to the Father with me.

A man who loves his children. Very few men love their childen the way my husband loves his. And when I say “his” children, I also mean my children. You see, we both had children when we married. He never refers to my children as “my wife’s” children; no, he always says “my” children. We recently attended my daughter’s vocal performance where he spoke of “his” daughter. He celebrates my children just as much as his own. He sees them as a blessing from God. He encourages them. He celebrates with them. He serves them. All as if they were his own flesh and blood.

Oh, how I could go on! You see, my husband is a man who sacrifices for others. He is generous, sometimes to a fault. He respects the opinions of others. He is patient and kind. He is not given to fits of rage. He does not push his agenda on others. He admits when he is wrong. He exhibits the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). He is not trapped in the works of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21). I know without a doubt he would lay down his life for me (John 15:13).

Have you found a man like my husband? Do you need to become a man like my husband? Ask God. Ask God to bring that type of man to you. Ask God to help your husband desire to become that man. Ask God to make you that type of man.

God is in the business of changing lives. He is able to develop these characteristics in anyone who is willing to surrender to His work in our lives!