Just Leave

Throughout my years of writing about divorce, I have advocated for men and women who have found themselves in toxic and destructive marriages. Since I write from a Christian perspective, I often find people holding to the sanctity of marriage. I have no problem with that. I am a firm believer in one man, one […]

Red Flag Warning

August 30, 2023. I had an alert come across my phone about an officer-involved shooting. I quickly opened my phone to watch the news conference. To my surprise, the picture of my friend with the beautiful smile flashed across the screen. She had been shot and killed by her husband, one of her fellow deputies. […]

Do You Know Jesus?

This last week, I have been broken-hearted to see a number of videos of individuals who grew up in the church that are now turning away. They boldly proclaim why they have left the toxic church culture, explaining how they are now enlightened. The church is toxic. The church is abusive. The church keeps people […]

From Mess to Message

I was confronted again this week: Why do you continue to write about divorce? Why do you allow your past divorce to color your world today? Why do you allow what your ex-husband did to you to continue to affect your relationships today? I’ve heard it many, many times. I need to leave the adultery, […]

Should I Stay?

It’s a question I am asked frequently: Should I stay in my marriage? It’s also a question I wrestled with for a very long time after I discovered my first husband’s infidelity. I had made a covenant before God and man, and it wasn’t something I took lightly. I had always been taught that scripture […]

Abuse in the SBC (and Other Denominations)

This morning, I had a headline pop up on my phone: “Bombshell 400-page report finds Southern Baptist leaders routinely silenced sexual abuse survivors” I clicked on the link out of curiosity as to what this secular news agency had to say, knowing that there’s often a bias against Christianity. However, like most of you, I […]

Did Jesus Die for the Narcissist?

Tomorrow is Good Friday, and Jesus’s death, burial, and resurrection are on my mind–as they should be. For some reason, my mind has been asking if Jesus died for the narcissist. Let me start by saying the term narcissist has become a choice description for anyone who is self-centered. I think we have to be […]

Four Things to Remember When You Have Been Hurt by the Church

I read a Facebook post by a friend recently, and it absolutely broke my heart. In the post, he talked about all the ways he has been hurt by the Church. By the congregations that shamed him when his marriage fell apart. By the pastor who fired him when people responded to his message. By […]

What Makes a Marriage?

Gary Thomas has become one of my favorite authors and marriage mentors. There was a time when I didn’t feel this way, mostly because his book Sacred Marriage was used as a weapon to tell me I should have stayed in my marriage. While I agree that marriage is sacred and divorce should never be […]

4 Lessons From Lysa Terkeurst’s Divorce Announcement

Three years ago, Lysa Terkeurst and her husband stood before man and God and renewed their vows following a painful separation after infidelity. They gave so much hope to those walking the painful journey of infidelity, a reminder that God is able. And God truly is able. He is able to heal the most broken […]