prayer requests
“I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.”
Matthew 18:19
One of our greatest privileges as Christians is to come before the throne of God in prayer! I consider it a great honor to pray with you and for you!
I went through a Divorce Sept 2013 and my heart is still broken. My ex-husband committed adultery as well. I blamed myself for a very long time and in some area still wonder if I never filed for the divorce if we could still be together. We have two boys and it’s been hard in dealing with everything I feel like by bottom has fallen out. The last woman my ex husband cheated with he recently proposed to and preparing to marry in some areas I feel shorted, angry and some areas jealous wondering why her and not me. I feel like I prayed so much that God’s will be done that when it didn’t work out I lost faith. I still find myself crying myself to sleep especially when the boys are not with me but with them/him. I feel like I have been replaced. Will I ever get over this hurt, will I ever stop crying?
You can get over the hurt! It takes a lot of time, a lot of prayer, a lot of work. But, you can have a life that far exceeds your wildest imagination! You have to forgive (which can be a daily decision). You need to see yourself the way God sees you, as a dearly loved child of the King. You have to understand that your husband’s choices are not about you, who you are.
Take time to sit at the feet of Jesus and let him love you. Lean into him, focusing all your time and attention on him. Pray that he would be real to you, that his love and mercy would be poured out over you. And don’t expect the hurt to go away overnight! I am on six years, and just now feel truly, completely healed. He will not disappoint!
I just wanted to tell you that your devotional deeply encouraged me and I instantly felt drawn to another single mother of three who sounds like has been through many losses and disappointments like me. Sometimes I feel no one could ever possibly understand the deep sense of betrayal and hurt that come through divorce and the aftermath and the stresses and pressures of raising three kids alone and performing on the job. I literally get asked all the time, “how do you not go crazy?”, all I can say is “God”. While I feel he has sheltered me and ministered to me so deeply it’s a daily struggle and desperate need but His mercies Are new every morning. Anyway I am encouraged by your devotional and appreciate that you are candid about your life struggles and the pain you felt. I know I could always use prayer as the people at my job are so tough and the malicious gossip of the ex in-laws seems to haunt me and does deeply hurt me and affects my life. Stuff they just won’t let go and I need prayer just to stay hopeful and healthy and not give in to fear and anxiety.
Thank you
Oh, how I know where you are coming from! My former in-laws tried to sabotage my writing, spreading the malicious lie that I had multiple affairs and destroyed multiple families. But, God is faithful. He is my defender. I am sorry you are having to deal with all the extra stresses. Isn’t it no wonder God hates divorce? It brings out such division, such hatred, such bitterness.
Please know that you are in my prayers. I am thankful that God could use my simple offering to touch others.
Lord, I do life my friend to you. I pray that you would continually pour out your mercies and grace on her, fresh, each and every day. I pray that your grace would be sufficient, that your power would be made perfect in her weakness. Help her to be a bright and shining representation of your love and grace each and every day–to her precious children and to the world around her. Use her in ways she never dreamed possible. In Jesus’ name I pray.
Hi, Dena. After many, many years of marriage (husband in ministry) I discovered his addiction to same sex porn and he admitted it was there even before we married (young). In the early years of marriage he confessed to me a few years after the fact, that he had a quick encounter with another male. I forgave him and being young and naive, I thought that was the end of it. We went on to raise a family while actively serving in ministry.
I always felt there was an emotional disconnect, a wall of sorts, between us but I didn’t know what it was, just that I felt very, very lonely. I just assumed that was normal in marriages. There were other times I found inappropriate pictures of men, but I guess I was in denial about the seriousness of it all. There were times that I considered leaving, but I would always put the ministry and our children first.
This last time I felt led to check his computer history and found more than I could have ever imagined. I eventually confronted him about it and the very first thing he said was “I’m glad that you know. I knew I would eventually be caught, . Even though he told me I have every right to feel all the emotions I was feeling about it, he still loves me. Of course I was very emotional but not one time did he try to comfort me.
He admitted that he has had same sex attraction throughout our entire marriage but never acted on it more than the one time. I don’t know if I can trust that since he has lied to and deceived me all these years. I no longer trust or respect or love him. When I asked if he had been attracted to specific men or women, he said yes.
I am broken and crushed beyond belief. I never imagined I would be dealing with this type of horror. The stress of it all is causing depression and physical issues with me. It consumes my every waking moment. I think that he just doesn’t get just how deeply hurt and scarred I am. He acts like everything is OK and wants to stay married. I think he is just a coward and doesn’t want the truth to come out and is willing to sacrifice me emotionally. There was even an “out of the blue” offer of free counseling for him if he ever needed it by a counselor friend who knows nothing of the situation, but he has made no effort to seek counsel. It appears that he just wants to sweep it all under the rug.
I am a Christian and was raised knowing divorce was wrong and have stood on that all through my marriage. However, my heart was stirred when I read that you believed that God gave you permission to divorce, a concept I had never considered, nor do I take lightly.
I have poured my heart out to God, seeking wisdom and discernment and it is only through His grace and strength that I am still somewhat emotionally intact. I, too, have felt a strange peace about divorce but didn’t fully understand it until I read your testimony. Thank you for being truly vulnerable about very personal issues. It is extremely helpful.
Please pray as I travel this road that I did not choose. I know that everything difficult and bad in our lives God can use for our good and His glory and that is what I cling to. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Hi BJ. I am so sorry for your pain. It’s amazing how many times I hear the same story as yours. Adultery is hard enough. But, to add to the rejection you already feel by having your spouse choose a same sex relationship over you must be beyond the human ability to endure. Please know that you are in my prayers.
You said, “I think he is just a coward and doesn’t want the truth to come out and is willing to sacrifice me emotionally.” I have to agree. As long as we allow them to hide behind the mask, the façade that they have created, they are safe. I made the same mistake. Healing only happens in the light.
Lord Jesus, I lift my friend to you and pray that you would mend her broken heart. Piece it back together as only you can, with your healing power that can take our ugly, broken lives and make them better than we could imagine. Make beauty from her ashes. Give her wisdom. Give her direction. Show her your path, and give her peace and courage to step out of her comfort zone and follow you…no matter where that path may lead. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
Pray for me. Have a fmily.in shcool. My chilren pray for finance breackthoud. Great work you have written. Be my prayer partner ad a mentor as you continue to wrte
You are definitely added to my prayer list. And I will definitely continue to write.
Lord, you know the personal needs of my friend. I do pray for financial breakthrough, financial freedom. I pray that your abundant blessings be poured out over John and his family. I pray that you would meet his every need, the needs of his children. I pray that you would show yourself strong and mighty in his midst. In Jesus name I pray.
Hi. I had a friend send me one of your blogs about divorce through facebook. I appreciate you pouring your heart out in that. And for also explaining what God meant when He said that He hates divorce. My prayer request would be that my estranged husband would come to know Jesus and become the husband and father I know that he could be. I pray that God would reconcile my marriage but if it’s not in His plans that He would show me the path I should take. I pray daily for my oldest daughter also that she ends her horrible relationship and comes back to God. I pray that a hedge of protection is placed around my whole family. I pray that this divorce doesn’t destroy us any more than it already has. I pray for all the marriages that are being destroyed by Satan. I pray for children that are losing their parents in this cycle. I pray against Satan and that I am able to put on the armor of God everyday of my life.
Hi Stacey! You have an amazing grip on what needs to be prayed! I love your heart and your faith. I’m so sorry for all the troubles you are walking through.
Lord Jesus, I do lift Stacey to you today and pray for his husband’s salvation. I pray that you would bring him to his knees, that he would desire to turn his life back to you and save his marriage. I pray for her daughter, that you would rescue her, save her from a bad relationship. I pray safety and protection around her entire family. Ultimately, I pray that you would take all the ugly mess and show her your beauty and grace. Give her your eyes to see your hand at work all around her. Take her mess and make it something beautiful…as only you can. In Jesus name I pray, amen.
Hi, Dena. Just an update. My husband went here and I didn’t open the gate. I called my family and my uncle told him that if he doesn’t leave, the security guard of the village would come. He kept yelling, “Why don’t you have me killed here, right now?” over and over for everyone to hear as if challenging me. I don’t even own a gun, while he used to borrowed a gun and kept it in the house, under the bed where we slept. I only found out when he returned it. When he was here he kept yelling, “You are being unfair! I have been a good husband!” Now he’s stalking my friends. Last night I received an urgent message from a friend saying my husband came to her house and demanded to talk to her. When her husband said she was asleep, my husband wanted her husband to wake her up. Now they are scared of my husband.
I also found out things my husband did and told other people who were too afraid to tell me before. I have married a complete stranger. It’s getting messier and messier, Dena. When will this stop? The shame and terror he causes bring me down but somehow I can’t cry anymore. I find myself wishing he’d die. I know it’s terrible but I live in constant dread of what he’s going to do next. I think he will only stop when I’m dead. Help me pray, Dena. I sometimes find myself fantasizing about ways of eliminating him. Of course I can’t do that but the scary part is the reason why I can’t. If I do that I will be haunted by the memory forever and that would make him win. That’s the only reason. And it scares me.
I will be praying for you. Never ever think of violence as a means to your problem because our God is a God of love. Pray to God and ask Him for a way out. He is able to overcome all circumstances. Amen.
Thank you for stepping up and praying. You are right: violence is never the right answer. God is able.
Hi there your story of your marriage touched me..I am a 34 year old guy from the UK who was with a lovely girl for 5 years both Christians and married for two of those five years we split 4,months ago after she was unfaithful 4,times in our 2nd year of marriage she started chatting with guys on social media it escalated without my knowledge and she started meeting them when I was working or looking for work ..eventually after catching her out the fourth time around I couldn’t bare it any longer and told her to stay with s female Christian friend until wee could organise counseling etc …ok so 6weeks into that I find she has left her friends moved in with a guy and is now pregnant with his child pretty harsh stuff …any way I’m a very strong guy and I’ve done all the mourning and am now living in exeptance as she has formally stated she will not be returning to the marriage because in her words she wants a “fresh start”!? I never abused her verbally or physically and did what I could to be a good husband
I’m so very sorry. It’s a common story, unfortunately. All it takes to destroy a marriage is one hardened heart. But, it doesn’t have to be the end of your life! God can use these trials to make you more like him, to conform you to his image. He can completely redeem your life, repaying you two blessings for every pain! There is such a beautiful life when you get through the pain. Hang in there, and know that you are in my prayers!
Dena – Thank you for praying for my family. I have a question. I have been on some of the Standing sites, and they say to continuously pray for your prodigal’s return and that God can work miracles. My spouse, is not having a lot of movement, how did you know God told you it was ok to divorce? I guess I am asking what was your burning bush? I am struggling with this. Thanks
You know, I think hearing God say it’s ok to divorce is one of the most difficult things ever! For me, it was a slow acceptance. He initially wanted to work on our marriage, but he wanted to just sweep it under the rug, pretend it never happened. As time went on, we grew increasingly distant. One thing I know is that ALL of my closest confidants, those who were helping me through the pain, those who had walked through it themselves…they were all telling me it was time to call it quits. They felt that God had spoken to them, asking them to be his voice to me (perhaps because I was so locked in the “never give up” mentality). Ultimately, I saw my kids struggling with physical ailments from the stress. My family stepped up to help me financially. I made the decision. Within 48 hours, the revelation of his continued affair and his active online dating came to light! It was that revelation that gave me the peace that I was making the right decision.
I understand the “standing” mentality, and I would never criticize anyone who feels called by God to that path. However, it is a human doctrine, a human interpretation of scripture, often deeply grounded in the KJV (the least accurate version of scripture). God has a path for each of us. Sometimes, the hurt and pain and damage of staying in an unhealthy environment is so much that God knows it is time to walk away. Ultimately, As long as our hearts are fully surrendered, seeking to walk in obedience, he will take you to that place where his purpose for you is fulfilled. He knows your heart, your struggle. He understands.
When you know that you can walk away WITH NO REGRETS, when you know that you have given 110% to reconciliation, when you know that you have done all you can do…then you can walk away. And, as long as you are focusing fully on God and becoming a healthy individual, you can leave the results up to him.
Ahh it is the NO REGRETS. Of course there are regrets, I wish I knew then what I know now, I have worked hard on changing, to be more sympathetic etc. What does KJV stand for (I am catholic). I get confused between on some web-sites that say to pray His word back to Him, as if He needs reminding of what He promised. I fail on a regular basis trying to keep His word. I know I sometimes fail purposely, because I am scared, mad, lonely, and untrusting. He has a soft voice with hard to do rules, where is the other voice is quite loud, and very temporal satisfying.
Her parents are the loud advocate for the divorce, All the advisors (people who can make money off this – lawyers, counsellors) are all for the divorce too. No one is saying how devastating not having a father in children’s lives can be for their well-being. This is about her happiness, and how “abusive” the relationship was. (if anyone has read the definitions of abuse – the bar is set very low, and after 23 years of marriage some things have happened, but on both sides. If anyone is thinking about divorce then one should play that victim abuse card first. There are advisors in VA that can walk you through that process to ensure you can get him arrested, and maximize your position before the courts. I have been told my wife was counselled). If God is all loving or in another term 1John 4:8 Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love. If that is the case, why does He allow the grandparents such influence? where is justice? I know it sounds like I want revenge and that is true – or better that they should suffer as much, a loss, to have everything they hold dear in the world ripped from them…Is this God’s way of testing? Seeing if I will trust Him? It seems counterproductive – take the dog’s food bowl, comfort away – make the anxiety high, let the dog see you….that seems more like torture than love. I struggle, I pray, i say novenas, i send out prayer requests so others pray, i request masses to be said, etc…nothing changes. Things get worse. I have tried praying His word back…I know His time frame…but when you sit in a running car in a garage, the time frame thing is relative. I read your recent post and your town is going through some tragedies and you said that God gives you more than you can handle so you will rely on Him. Catholicism says I should rejoice in my suffering (Be Glad in ALL things). That I can offer it up as part of Christ’s suffering. Yet at the end of the day, when everything will be taken away – my companies, family, love, I will find it hard to rejoice and proclaim the word is true.
So after ranting a lil above and feeling sorry for myself The following was sent:
You may remember I said that the first step towards humility was to realise that one is proud. I want to add now that the next step is to make some serious attempt to practise the Christian virtues. A week is not enough. Things often go swimmingly for the first week. Try six weeks. By that time, having, as far as one can see, fallen back completely or even fallen lower than the point one began from, one will have discovered some truths about oneself. No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means—the only complete realist.
No regrets… Not “no regrets” over your actions, but “no regrets” that you have done everything within your power to save the marriage, that you have put forth 110% to make the marriage work.
KJV… The King James Version of scripture. It is the oldest English version of scripture, dating back to the 1600s. Newer versions of scripture were translated from much older and many more transcripts, thus they are more accurate. Newer versions were also not “authorized” by King James or any government entity.
We all fail. God’s voice is quiet, but it is always to set us free from bondage. He came to set us free, to give us freedom from anything that would bind us. Focus on relationship with Christ, not on following anyone’s set of rules. It’s about getting to know the Savior and walking with him in intimacy.
We live in a fallen world where sin is rampant. Unfortunately, being a Christian does not protect us from the tribulations of this world, from the impact of others whose hearts become hardened. What I do guarantee is that in the midst of every pain and every trial, God is with you. When you are lonely, he will be your friend. When you hurt, he will be your comfort. When you are in need, he will be your provider. Whatever you need at precisely the moment you need, he will be there. He is the Great I Am. We can’t truly know that God is all we need until he is all we have.
The trials are hard, but if we can cling to him, we will learn and grow in ways we never dreamed possible. Our faith will grow and we will see the goodness of God. We will grow and mature in our faith. We will one day look back amazed at how he has blessed us in our troubles.
I encourage you to find a good, Christian counselor who can walk you through this time. It sounds as if you are depressed. I understand. I’ve been there, even contemplated suicide. But there is this amazing beauty on the other side. Be assured that somehow, some way, God will bring something good out of the most miserable days of your life.
Just want to give another update. The Odyssey of the Mind Worlds went well, even though the grandparents showed up. I was able to spend a lot of time with my kids, and we were able to reconnect in a good way. My wife was able to see that I have changed some, but she is leery that the change is not permanent. Since then we have interacted some, though she is limiting herself in interacting with me. I think she wants to make sure she stays strong in her convictions. Please continue to pray as there is a custody hearing on August 18.
Praise God! I love to hear updates, especially when they show movement in a positive direction. You will continue to be in my prayers!
Hi, Dena. I would like to request prayers for my friends this time. It’s been so long since I communicated with them and I recently found out, two of my dearest friends are suffering from depression. One is not taking medications, a single mom, and is sending her daughter to a private university all by herself. Where we’re from, that’s no easy task. My other friend is taking medications and has been rushed to a mental facility twice because of depression as well (and she’s alone in Singapore). They are beautiful people, Dena. They have truly good and kind souls. Please help me pray for them. Thank you very much.
I have absolutely been lifting them up in prayer! My heart aches for them as they battle depression. Praying God’s healing over both of them!
Hi again Dena,
Just wanted to post an update.. Had my PET scan last Friday and suffice it to say, the scan was negative. “I AM CANCER FREE!” Praise God! Praise God! Praise God! God is so very good, ALL the time! Thank you all for the prayers.
Praise the Lord!! That’s such great news! All the time, God is good!
Just an update, Dena. My husband called earlier and I answered. It was his first time to call and he was mad at me. “You’re my wife,” he said again and again. I guess what he meant was, “You’re my property.” I told him I’ve already told my parents that we have separated and that I am filing for an annulment. He said what kind of parents do I have to tell me to get an annulment instead of helping us straighten things out. I didn’t explain any further. It wasn’t my parents’ decision but because he thinks of me as an object, incapable of making decisions on my own, he said it’s my parents’ decision. The line got cut off. He called again and I answered after a few rings. His first question was, “Why did it take several rings before you answered the phone?” I’m scared of him but I told him I don’t want to see him again. He called again and again and again and I didn’t answer the phone anymore. He sent a text message saying that I ruined our vows to God. Colossians 3:19 said, “Husbands, love your wives. Don’t be mean to them.” He was always very, very mean. Taking my phone with him, taking away the USB stick for internet access (and sleeping with it strapped to him), guarding me while I’m sending emails to the office, leaving with the keys to the house so I can’t leave. He practically locked me up for months. And yet I stayed for years. Why can’t he leave me alone? Haven’t I suffered enough? Instead, he said in his text message that he will fight for me because he loves me. I didn’t reply. And as I’m writing this he sent a text message again. “Don’t fly so high, I can’t reach you anymore. I am suffering.”
I know it doesn’t make sense that I’m this scared of him because I have an option not to open the gate and the lady my mother sent to stay with me is always here but I can’t deny the fact that I am scared. I don’t understand why he has power over me somehow. Like I’m a robot and he has the remote. I don’t love him anymore. I’m sure of that. But somehow he was able to program me to feel this way. It’s almost as if I’ve just escaped a cult. It’s so hard for me to explain my feelings because they defy logic.
I don’t want him to return but I think he will. I thought everything’s fine because he didn’t contact me until now. Please pray that he doesn’t come back. Please help me pray for protection. I wish I can move but the house I was supposed to rent has not been vacated yet and I think the owner is selling it instead.
Thank you.
An update again. My husband has been sending text messages and calling my readers (I write books), telling them we’ve separated and saying terrible things about me–that there’s probably another man involved; that my relatives are uppity, snobs; etc. He told my readers that they found the wrong writer to admire. He is playing the victim. I cannot believe that he will do this to me. He has no shame. He’s dragging my name through the mud. I worked 14 years to build a name and it looks like his new purpose in life is to ruin it, to ruin me. I am so mad, Dena. I don’t want to be mad but I am. How could someone who vowed to take care of me, treat me with respect, honor me, and love me do this much damage? Just the other day I thought everything’s fine. He returns in my life through my readers and the peace I have come to enjoy has suddenly been snatched away. Please help me pray for strength. Thank you. God bless.
Unfortunately, it is common with abusers. They can’t let go of control. When they feel power shifting, they do whatever they can to try to regain power. And, they DON’T see their fault. They truly believe it is all your fault. There is no sense of personal responsibility. I have lived through the same horrors–having him blame me, twisting the truth to make it my fault to others, and him trying to ruin my professional reputation in writing.
But there is good news! God is still faithful! I found this little gem years ago: Let my righteousness shine like the dawn and the justice of my cause like the noonday sun. It’s tucked away is Psalm 37:4-7. You can’t imagine how many times I have prayed that prayer (countless times daily!!), and God has ALWAYS brought the truth to light! He has never failed me!
There is no pain like being betrayed by the one who committed to love and protect always. But, there is so much goodness and life and joy in the One who is always faithful!
Learned about this blog via a private online support group. I’m exhausted; too exhausted presently to even give more details. May 20th “was” suppose to be a wedding anniversary date that has never truly been honoured. I have few friends; adult children and family can not be trusted. If not for God saving me I could not have survived the 35 plus years of emotional abuse (dare I mention the sexual?).
Covet your prayers for a final decision and strength to move on …. I am so very tired:-(
I understand. It is so hard to see the unraveling…even when it feels as if all those years were just a facade, an ugly lie. Praying for you, especially tomorrow. Praying that God will bind up your wounds and heal your heart. Praying that he will give you the wisdom and direction you need. Praying he will give you a small glimpse of the amazing future he has for you–a future full of hope and freedom! God bless!
Your blog is a blessing. I ask for prayer for my family. In a nutshell, married 32 years, 3 children, 1 granddaughter, husband has been at least emotionally unfaithful numerous times through our marriage, July 2013 ( he’s church president) he began an affair with the children’s service director. He denied, denied. But left January 2014 and within 3 weeks was out in public with her. I was asked by the minister not to return to church( too hard on the parishioners). We went to court on August 25th and I had a stroke on the 28th. Due to the stress. We live in an extremely small town. Drive down the highway I saw them hugging and kissing last week. God hates divorce. How do you move on? Do you believe that you can remarry? My children are hurting.
Let me say that I am SO angry with your church! Their response is so very wrong. Where do we get from scripture that we should hurt and shun those who are already in such deep anguish? They should love and embrace you, nurture you back to health.
That aside, let me address a couple of quick things. Yes, God hates divorce. But, I believe he hates divorce because of the pain it heaps on his children more than because it is some great sin. Read Malachi 2. The context of the passage is of the husband being unfaithful and hurting his wife (who was, at that time, only a piece of property). Christ came and said that we women should be valued and treasured. He elevated us to a place never before seen. He said we should be loved and protected–not just tossed aside by divorce because the husband decided she was no longer pleasing.
As for remarriage, yes! Nowhere does scripture say divorce is the unpardonable sin. Not even sure it is sin in your case or mine. There are arguments for remarriage, against remarriage, and only in certain cases. Each is a HUMAN interpretation of God-inspired scriptures. To hold anyone to a HUMAN (therefore fallible) doctrine is to be a Pharisee, heaping laws and regulations upon us when we are covered by grace. Consider David and Bathsheba. Their relationship began in adultery, and yet God blessed them greatly. Some have argued that’s only because Uriah was dead. So…it stands to reason that if I murder my ex-husband, I will be free to remarry?!?! Somehow that theology seems flawed to me. ????
In short, here’s my advice: surrender. Let God have his way with you. Let him do an amazing work in you so he can do an amazing work through you. Let him use this horrible, awful trial to give you a new heart, a new life. Let him lead you into the amazing future he has planned for you, one that is above and beyond all you could ever ask or imagine. Let him mold you into his image as only the trials of this life can do. Let him build an unshakeable faith, a trust in him that will withstand all this life can throw at you. It’s a long hard road, but it has been the greatest blessing of my life (and my kids’ lives).
Lord Jesus, I lift my friend to you. Bind up her wounds. Heal her heart. Give her a vision of all you have planned. Help her get so close to you that she comes to know the Great I Am in all your glory and power. Lead her step by step through this wilderness to a place of healing and wholeness. In Jesus name I pray, amen.
Thank you Dena! A friend recently linked your blog of “…Wrestling With God” on Facebook. Like you, I had always thought my faith was pretty strong, but at 42 and facing newly diagnosed colon cancer, found my relationship with God a little strained as I delt with anger and denial regarding the diagnosis. I have had a tumor and segment of my colon removed. Lymph nodes were clear. The surgeon believes he removed all the cancer. I am scheduled for a PET scan tomorrow to see if any cancer remains in my body. We are standing firm on faith that Jesus has completely healed me and I am cancer free. Could we ask for prayer for the same and further understanding of God’s plan and His purpose. Again, thank you and God Bless!
Lord Jesus, I pray that Julie will be cancer free! We proclaim your healing power over her body. We believe in your power and that you have good plans for Julie! We also pray that you would do an amazing work in Julie through this painful time so that you can do an amazing work through her. Don’t let her pain be in vain! In Jesus name I pray, amen.
Look forward to hearing updates!
Just want to give you an update. My wife’s parents are the loudest advocate for the divorce. My kids are on an Odyssey of the Mind team that is going to world finals in Michigan. The grandparents have never gone before, and just when my wife’s heart was softening, they move back up here from FL and are going to Worlds. This was going to be the longest time I would have been able to see my children since Jan 1. It would have been 4 days. I cannot be in the same room as someone who wants to destroy my marriage. I do not know what to do, THE DEVIL is winning here. I just want to give up, I do not see any point. I am amazed at the viscousness of this, and how it came about so fast from “I love you and want the marriage” to this. My kids have turned, I get barely any time with them, and the lawyers do not seem to be able to do anything about this. Except bill.
What do I do? What do I pray for? Does God hear, and if so, why is there no movement?
Yes, divorce is ugly and awful and evil and brings out the worst in people. There are no easy answers. The one thing I am learning is that God may be silent, but he’s never still. Somewhere, somehow, he’s at work behind the scenes, setting things in motion that you can’t see today. One day, you will see the full picture and understand what he’s doing. It’s learning to trust him in the silence, to let go of everything and let him have his way.
Don’t quit praying. Ask God to have his way, to soften hearts, to do his work. Confess your trust in him. Tell him you don’t understand, but that you will follow no matter where he leads. Tell him you surrender your will, your way. Ask him to do an amazing work in you so he can do an amazing work through you.
This is a hard journey, one I wouldn’t wish on anyone. But, there are so many blessings along the way. God is the God of the impossible. So often, what we see as a setback is actually a set up for God to do his greatest work.
Lord Jesus, I lift my friend to you. I pray that he would focus fully on you so that you can keep him in your perfect peace. Give him clarity and vision. Give him the ability to trust you fully and completely. Restore relationships as only you can. In Jesus name we pray, amen
Thank you for your prayers. I have just read your post regarding wrestling with God. I can say that I am definitely doing that. The Guardian Ad Litem still has not made a decision nor do I know if I am ever going to be able to talk to him. Been trying since I found out the parents were going. I am thinking that this is exactly what God wants, He wants to test me, to see if I trust Him, and to see if I have changed. This has been so raw emotionally, I have given up. I like a good fight, but there is nothing to fight, just rage at the injustice of it all. Where is God? I see this train wreck approaching in slow motion…..
Thank you, Dena. So much! God is using you to help not only those who are going through divorce but also those who are abused. May the Lord bless you and your family more!
Dear Dena,
My husband went back here two weeks ago and he agreed to go to a therapist. I said we’re okay because I still loved him but mostly because I was afraid of how he’d react. I was alone and it was very late. He arrived 12 midnight. Dena, I can’t explain why I opened the door. How can he still control me when I already know what he is? The following day he was back to his old self and was far away from me so I told him to take a hike. Even in his last text message he was blaming me, saying that I chose my relatives over him, that I have sacrificed him, that I was a terrible wife. I was hurt but now I am mostly mad. Slowly, I am beginning to realize what happened. Every day, God gives me more clarity.
I have already told my family everything and my mother immediately found a help to stay in the house with me. There is no turning back. Every single day I realize how much I feared my husband. It becomes clearer and clearer just how much he controlled me. I didn’t want to use a new toothbrush the other day just because I knew that if he sees an extra toothbrush box in the trash he will accuse me of having a man sleep over while he’s away and he doesn’t even live here anymore! I have tons of these silly moments. I realize my fear has gotten so bad that I want to leave this house.
I still don’t understand how my husband was able to do this to me. I really want to understand how I failed to see something that’s been very clear all along. I guess I’d go to therapy. I want to get over this fear.
Dena, do you think it’s all right to ask God to keep my husband far away from me? I really don’t want to see him anymore. I fear him. Will that be a terrible prayer? Although I know that God will protect me from my husband, I can’t help but wish that my husband will just disappear from my life so that I can live in peace. I guess I’m exhausted from the stress. It’s like waiting for a storm that may or may not come. A storm that can destroy my house and even kill me. I know my husband didn’t hit me but he had closed his fist and acted like he was going to punch me while I was crying on the floor and begging him to stop (this happened years ago). I seriously think he’s capable of physically hurting me because he has hurt his own sister and uncle (He told me this before. When I told him that’s terrible he said it’s none of my business). And when he’s raging, his rage controls him completely.
Thank you very much. God bless.
There is nothing wrong with praying for God’s hand of protection–even if it means praying that he will keep your husband away! Abusers are great manipulators. They sweep in, earn your trust, seem incredibly normal. Then, once they have your trust, they begin to control. They choose those of us who are trusting, naive, perhaps even insecure. They convince us that it’s all our fault, that we deserve everything we get. They instill fear in us to keep us under control. We get so beat down that we believe we aren’t worthy of being treated any other way. And, I continue to say that emotional, verbal, and spiritual abuse are so much more difficult to see than physical abuse. If my husband had ever laid a hand on me, I would have recognized the abuse. It wasn’t until I was far removed and had taken time to heal that I realized just how abusive he was…and that I allowed it. Yes, as my kids continue to see him, I often fear for their physical safety because I know their father’s rage–and he IS capable of physically hurting them.
In my situation (now that I am far removed), I have found that standing up to my ex and refusing to let him speak to me disrespectfully has caused him to back down. When he can no longer bully me (control me), he doesn’t know how to respond. Interestingly, my kids are now becoming strong enough to stand up to him. I pray the threat of his kids walking away is enough to open his eyes and draw him back into relationship with God.
Not knowing your husband, I don’t know if having confidence and standing up to him will help or exacerbate. I think it has only helped because I am so far removed from him. If we were still married, it might have had the opposite effect. There are no easy answers, but you must seek safety–far away from him.
I can see myself all through your email, and my heart aches for you. It is not good to walk on eggshells, constantly trying to decide what actions to take to prevent an outburst (the toothbrush…I so understand). I am glad that you have told your family. Opening up to others is a step toward getting out and healing.
You are in my prayers, dear friend!
Hello.
Thankfully, my husband has not tried to contact me at all. I hope the situation stays the same. I know I have to talk to him soon to settle a few legal matters but my mother will come with me for sure. I really want to build my own house and sell the old one but I’d need his consent, apparently.
Just a while ago, the help asked why I washed the box of cream I have used and why I did it immediately, in the middle of mixing cake batter. Once again, I realized it’s because if my husband were here, he’d lash out at me and say that I am making a mess. So many things needed to be done a certain way around the house, otherwise, it’s going to be a terrible day.
My friend told me to speak out about the abuse to help others but I can’t because I know my husband will use that against me if he finds out. This may cause problems with the termination of our marriage. I often wish I live in a place where there is divorce. Where I’m from, not only is there no divorce, any form of abuse cannot be used as legal grounds for annulment as well. One may use abuse to prove mental incapacity, but not everyone gets granted annulment using that. It takes 6 months to a few years to get an annulment. And even if it’s granted by the family court, there is still a huge possibility that the solicitor general will contest it. I have already talked to a very experienced lawyer. She said that I needed to wait until I’m sure my husband will no longer contest the case, preferably if he’s found someone else. Otherwise, I’d only be wasting time and money. So I asked, “What if he doesn’t find anyone else ever? I’d have to stay married to him forever?” The lawyer said pretty much. But I know prayers will help. And if in case my husband refuses to sign the consent papers so that I can sell the house, I guess I’d just have to give him half of it (though I started paying for it before we were married and he didn’t have a job). And the car he took with him that’s under my name? It’s his. I don’t care. Small price to pay really. It’s my tuition fee for the lesson that I have learned.
Thank you so much, Dena. You have helped me more than you know. I hope that one day I can post here and tell you very good news.
You are in my prayers as well. God bless you.
I am so sorry for the unbelievable mess. While I am a firm believer in one man, one woman, for life, there are simply circumstances that make that dangerous and unhealthy. Yours is a prime example. There’s no way to know how deeply someone might deceive before marriage, or when someone might suddenly change during the course of a lifetime. There simply are NO guarantees.
I am so sorry that divorce is not even available to you. I feel your pain as you look at your life to realize all of the things that you have been doing simply to keep the peace. I pray that you eventually get your life back. And, I pray that some day you can be the voice that speaks out to bring about change in your country! You never know how God might be able to use you in a mighty way!
Hang in there! Cling to God, and cling to your family! You will make it through!
Please pray for my family. We have been married 23 years, and she is the only woman I have ever loved. She left several times when we were dating and she was in college so she could “experience” the college life, and because I had no direction – we met when she was 15 and I was 18. Anyway, I got my act together by 24 and we married just before I turned 25 (she was 22). We have had our trials and tribulations. I was always to blame for life, not enough this or that, in general her unhappiness. Funny thing was that one of the things that attracted me to her was her easy going and smiling personality.
When we moved to VA in 2006 (she hated NJ), she quit her job in 2008 because it did not bring fulfillment into her life. We have two very smart kids (son 13 and daughter 11), who always thought I was a great dad. Since she quit her job we have been living at my gross salary, and spending down our savings. This has stressed me out when looking at college and retirement. Needless to say I worked more hours, etc etc.
Over the last two years I was telling her she needed to get he job back. Last June, I said that if we kept like this we would be divorced because life was not sustainable. By the time October came around the stress level was high. Her attempts to get her job back consisted of an e-mail. She had been doing day trading for the last 6 years and was losing money. I was deceived on the financial situation of the house, and started to demand what was going on. This was no longer a partnership where we looked out for each other and the family.
In December, I was finally able to talk to her and explain that over the last 6 years she could have done anything she wanted, that it was enough time to get a doctorate degree. And that I would have loved it if she found something that made her happy, because happy wife is happy life. She broke down and cried and said she had been putting her first and wanted the marriage. I regret that by this point my heart was somewhat hardened, and I waiting to see the proof in the pudding.
Her attitude came back by 12/31 and on 1/1 we had the biggest fight we ever had. We were both wrong, and said and did things. I believe that there was something evil in me that day, because on reflection I do not see myself.
Long story short, I am out of the house, the kids now hate me, and she wants a divorce. Her parents came up from FL and are the loudest proponent of divorce. She has circled the wagons and went to everyone who would listen about how she was abused. Early January I had to call a lot of financial institutions and get the passwords, bank accounts etc because I had no idea about my finances. I still do not know if I have them all. I have been interviewed by Child Protective Services – been to court for restraining orders, and now battling custody. The kids have a Guardian Ad Litem.. and this is about as mean as it gets. We go to divorce counselling where she feels safe to yell, belittle and mock me – the woman counsellor allows this, since this is part of her healing. My wife takes no blame. I voluntary am in AA, seeing psychiatrist, Priest, counsellors and anyone else who will help me clean my side of the street. I have done what I have done, I am not saint, I will accept and have accepted responsibility for my actions. I am changing. I question God and His plan (since he brought her to me over and over).
I am trying to Standfast, but I am weak in faith and trust. I read about God’s promises, and read how to pray, pray effectively, Divine Mercy, penance, constant prayer, praising prayer, thankful prayer, morning and night prayer. I have railed, wailed, surrendered and repeated. Her heart is hardened, my children’s hearts are hardened (and if you had seen me with them in November you would never have thought that would happen). I am evil, to them, they are scared, everything was a lie to them, all their lives they were abused by me, etc etc. The lies and deceit are incomprehensible to me, and so is the viciousness and anger. I never would have expected that from the love of my life. I may say horrible things in anger (to my regret) and my bark it definitely worse than my bite…this is new pain, a betrayal of all I hold dear. I read that the heaven and earth shall pass away but His word will not, and recently understood that to mean He is forever, that He IS, and will always BE.
Why does he let Satan and his minions do such evil? I read testimonies here and would love to have a wife that wanted marriage and God above all. I am sure there are wives who want husbands like that. If He is doing everything in His glory, it does not seem like winning to me. So much pain and destruction. I am involved in several companies and employ 70 families….this will tear apart those companies (hopefully not dissolve them but..). The fallout from this could be incredible.
I guess free will wins, no matter the cost. I wonder about God’s promises and His will. I search for His will, other than mercy, love and forgiveness I am at a loss as to what to do. Do I protect myself? The companies? While losing everything I worked 50 years to achieve (I did not have a pot to piss in) to where I am is a sort of miracle. But that is temporal, I eat, sleep basic needs are met. Love, trust, I have a hard time with. I am unique in that what I say, I do, and have been the rock for friends and family as a result. I would like one friend, one family member to tell my wife that what she is doing is wrong. That the time, energy, money being spent in destroying this marriage (and the obvious pain the kids are feeling being in the middle) would be better spent building this marriage into a great one that glorifies God.
What do I do – I have choices A) rage and destruction (temporary pleasure), B) continue to pray for my family and be a Standing Husband for my Prodigal Spouse, C) pray and move on – though anything I do would be adultery.
Please pray for my family. I am unsure what to pray for. Do you pray for specifics? generalities? healing, restoration, reconciliation, soft ending, ??? I do not know. I pray for her soul, my children, her parents, and all those people who counsel divorce, and my marriage. I ask God to guide me, increase my faith and trust in Him. Right now in my limited view I do not see Him winning.
Thank you
Wow, Walter. Words cannot even begin to express the pain and confusion you must be experiencing. I know there is nothing I can say that will make the pain go away. You are in the midst of the tornado, experiencing the loss and devastation of everything you hold dear. I am truly sorry. From where you stand today, surveying the damage, I know how it feels. I remember looking at the rubble of my life, wondering where to start picking up the pieces. Somehow, one by one, God has walked me through the process. He is a restorer of all things.
If there is one thing I could say it would simply be focus on him. I don’t know what he has for your future. I don’t know if your wife will ever surrender. I don’t know if you should stand. I don’t know if you should divorce. Those are things God and only God can tell you. And, I know how hard it is to hear God say that it’s ok to divorce.
Isaiah 26:3 has become a favorite of mine. It basically says to focus all your time and energy on him and he will keep you in perfect peace. I have seen him do mighty works in lives and relationships. When we let go of all the chaos swirling around us, he steps in and creates order. I know it’s hard to believe, but he does. It’s not an overnight, instantaneous process, but it does happen.
Please know that I will be praying that you can get so close to him that you will be able to see his direction, to have his perspective. I will be praying that God will soften your wife’s heart, help her to take responsibility for his actions. I will be praying for your kids to be able to discern the truth. Divorce is SO ugly.
Lord Jesus, I lift Walter to you today. You promise to be near the broken hearted, to bind up our wounds. I pray that you would show yourself to Walter today. Give him a sense of your presence. Let your perfect peace reign in his heart. Give him a vision of the beautiful future you have for him. Give him strength to cling to your word, your promises, knowing that you are always faithful. Give him your eyes to see that the victory is already won!
Dear Walter,
Dena is right, only God knows what he has for your future. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future. Whether it be with your spouse, a new spouse, or solo, and however the drama will play out before you get there, is unknown. But trust in Him that the path, however painful, is designed to build you up into who He wants you to be and to teach you to be dependent on Him. You will be amazed at how you can cope with all the pain and whatever life throws at you when you depend on him.
Lord God, lead Walter on his walk into the future you have for him. Help him to be strong in you, depend on you, patient to wait on you, and daily aware of your presence and love. Father, Walter right now must be feeling a desire to be validated- for his wife and kids to recognize that they are wrong about him. Give him vindication, knowing that you are the judge in all things. Wherever he or his wife were wrong in the past, you will judge, and where you see Jesus’ blood covering their wrongs, you will judge mercifully. Give Walter peace knowing that through constant prayers, you will work on the hearts of his kids so that they see & know the truth about their parents. And Lord give them a firm knowledge that you make all things work together for the good of those who love them… even the painful things.
Walter, I have faith that you can walk through this fire and come out on the other side with healed wounds. Just like my husband is healing after his ex ran off with his brother, and they tried to keep his son from him. The flames are out but we still walk through the smoke. But we grow stronger in the Lord each day and the pain lessens a little each day as we build a new family. His son will heal and recognize the truth about his mother, and God will look upon his mother so that we don’t have to worry about what is just. My husband had to be torn down and reach rock bottom to see the Lord and begin building back up in Him. I now know a wonderful person, who is a completely different person living a completely different life than before I met him. Have faith that your life will be restored with you family, or you will possibly have a new, even better life.
-Kristen
DanielleC April 9,2015@1010
Prayer Request is, I just became saved and I asked for the Holy Spirit and It hasn’t happened.I have extreme case of ADHD and it has affected me my whole life.Now that I read the bible,I’m struggling cause I can’t comprehend What I’m reading cause I like to visualize what is taking place so I remember what it is im reading.my mind can not focus it is thinking about everything else and negativity, doubt etc.i feel like I’m not getting anywhere cause I feel no change and I don’t have that closeness to him to know what he’s saying.or know he’s working in me.Thank you and God Bless, Danielle C
Sweet friend, you have every ounce of the Holy Spirit residing in you! Be patient. The Bible compares you to an infant, craving milk. One day you will be ready for solid food.
Find a good, strong, mature Christian who can walk beside you and help you learn and grow. Look for videos that you can watch (the new Bible series AD is a place to start). Download YouVersion or BibleGateway app to your phone and pick a devotional for new Christians. Go to the Lifechurch.tv website and request a “What’s Next?” Kit. Listen to sermons on the Lifechurch.tv website (our pastor is great!!).
Focus your mind by listening to Christian music. Set timers on your phone to remind you to pray. Think of prayer not as something long and tedious, but instead like sending text messages to God all day long. I promise He sees your heart! He will reward your efforts and desire to know him better.
Lord Jesus, I lift my friend Danielle to you today. Surround her with strong, loving Christians who will embrace her and help her walk more closely to you. Give her an indication that you see her heart, hear her pleas. Let your perfect peace embrace and comfort her as she focuses on you (Isaiah 26:3). In Jesus name I pray, amen.
Yes, it does. There are still a lot of people out there who’d probably tell me I didn’t do my best. Sometimes I still get convinced, but everything that’s happened always comes back to me. I really don’t want to go through that again. A few days ago I woke up hearing his voice and I was scared. Good thing it was just a part of a dream. Last night I heard the sound of a car alarm that I was sure was his, and again I was terrified. It was just the neighbor. It made me realize how frightened I am of him. I lived in fear for years without realizing it. I don’t think God would want me to live in fear.
Thank you very much! God bless.
I agree with you Carla. It seems that you have been controlled by fear if you are having that much anxiety. God wants you to live in freedom and peace. Hang in there! He has great plans for you! Isaiah 26:3
It’s 1 AM where I currently am. I can’t stop thinking about things. I have so many questions:
1. If God did not want my husband for me, why did He send him my way?
2. If my husband doesn’t take care of himself and harms himself in any way, am I not responsible for that because I told him to leave? He doesn’t have a job.
3. Maybe my husband will change if we go to church. It’s been a while since we last went.
I don’t know what to do.
Oh, dear Carla! You have stumbled upon one of the hardest concepts to grasp, a mystery far beyond the human mind. You see, we have a collision between God’s sovereignty and man’s free will. I know that God had great plans for my now ex-husband and myself. I know that God brought him into my life. And, I know that God gave him free will–an opportunity to CHOOSE to harden his heart toward God and toward me. And that is precisely what he did. Does that mean it wasn’t God’s will? No, it means my life was impacted by the free will of another person. So how does God handle that? He hears my prayers, takes all the broken pieces of my life, and weaves them into a beautiful new picture, new future. He chooses a new path to accomplish his purpose for me. I’ve struggled many times asking God why he would tell me to marry this man if he knew that man would betray me. Now, on this side, I see that he allowed it because he does his best work in the midst of pain and trials. I now see that the path to his purpose for me, the springboard into fulfilling my dreams, has been through the misery and pain. It’s a beautiful life on this side of the suffering!
2. Are you responsible for your husband’s self-harm? Absolutely not! He is an adult. He is responsible for his own actions. Satan is the accuser, the condemner. Satan will try to convince you that you are guilty, that it is your fault. Is it my fault my husband had an affair? NO! He chose his actions. He chose his path. If your husband is making threats to hurt himself, it is an attempt to guilt you and manipulate you into taking responsibility for HIS actions. He MUST own up to his own choices.
3. Church is good, essential. But church starts in our hearts. The only thing that will save a marriage is the life-changing power of God himself! He stands ready and willing to change any heart, any life that will truly accept him and surrender to him. I don’t know where you stand with the savior, but I encourage you to open your heart fully and completely to him. Ask him to do an amazing work in you, no matter the cost. Ask him to change you! Your husband has to make the same choice for himself. He has to choose a path of surrender. If you both allow the Father to come in and do his amazing, life-giving work of transformation in you individually, your marriage will be transformed. If either of you chooses to harden your heart, it may not survive. Church might be a starting point, but it will require far more than going to church. But, what I promise, is that if YOU fully and completely surrender to the savior, you have a beautiful future–regardless of what your husband chooses!
Lord Jesus, my heart aches for Carla today. Wrap your arms of love around her. Help her to focus her thoughts fully on you so you can keep her in your perfect peace. Lead her down the path of full surrender so that you can transform her and her marriage. Take away her fears and doubts. Give her peace and joy–and hope and confidence in the beautiful future you have planned for her! In Jesus name I pray, amen.
Thank you very much, Dena. God bless you.
My husband still hasn’t called, which in all honesty, is making me sigh in relief and at the same time scares me. What if it’s just one of his tactics where he will call after a few days, telling me he couldn’t live without me? What if he comes home? I am always alone because I work at home. But I know God will not allow bad things to happen.
Yesterday, I did grocery shopping alone (and bought pregnancy test–I am not pregnant, yay!). I felt so light and free. I can actually buy the brands that I prefer. I never realized how much I thought about little things like that. In everything I did I put my husband first. And he still accused me of turning him into my very own toy soldier. It’s so liberating to read all these articles about emotional abuse. My husband is textbook. How come I didn’t see that? It’s literally a part of my job to make women feel loved and cherished, and I condemn abuse with what I do and with what little influence I may have to the people who listen to what I say, and yet I failed to see how much abuse I was taking myself. Or maybe I just refused to acknowledge the signs. In my mind, I have always wanted that picture I painted of two old people, wrinkled, in their rocking chairs, with grandchildren running around. I have realized that I may never find myself sitting on that rocking chair and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I can change the picture–to an elderly woman who had seen the world, baking goods for her niece and nephews, serving God, praying and smiling on that porch, with peace in her heart. I’d love that, too! But it’s okay if I don’t get that, as well, as long as it’s God’s way. Thy will be done. Not mine, but His alone. The picture He shall paint will be more vivid, more wonderful! And it excites me to see the revelation!
Oh, the things that I can do now! I live in a country where there is no divorce, Dena. And annulment in this part of the world will cost me an arm and a leg, so will legal separation. I have no plans to remarry (I’ve been reading about it in your blog and it makes me realize so many things about what I thought I was sure of only a few days ago about Christians remarrying) but I want my surname back. It’s a good surname, goes great with my first name. But first I have to get my stuff together. I’m just thinking of the possibilities and they are endless! I am overwhelmed! And I can see my friends again! However, when I think about that I still feel fear. What if he finds out? Before he left he said that he was certain I will revert to my “old habits” when he leaves. I still haven’t gotten in touch with old friends. I think it will take a while. I need to sort out a lot of things first, I guess.
Thank you so much, Dena. You’re in my prayers. This blog is helping more people that you know. Praise God for that.
I see myself in so much of your story! How did I miss it? Or, did I just accept it as the cross I had to bare because I had married him? Yes, ultimately there is a lot of freedom. I can do what I want without worrying how he will receive it. I think the best part for me has been recovering the love and laughter that I have with my family of origin. They are amazing, and I missed out on a lot over the years.
When it happens, it does challenge everything you thought you knew about marriage, divorce, and remarriage. I am so thankful that my heart has been softened and molded. I truly believe that divorce has made me more like Christ. That’s part of the fun. I get to see the most awful even of my life become the biggest blessing of my life! His resurrection power is alive and well!
Hang in there! The days get easier, the pain easier to handle. God truly heals all hurts and repays every pain. Please know that you are in my prayers!
Hello. I was thinking that maybe I shouldn’t post because I am very confused right now but I need prayers. I haven’t told a single person that my husband left two days ago. We had a fight because I told him to leave. He refused to talk to me for days because he thought that I lied when I said my mother borrowed my dresses. He suspected that I lent them to my cousin, whom he hated.
As we were arguing I came to realize that we can never be together anymore. The fights we had for two straight months three years ago with only restless sleeps as breaks never actually ended. He still had doubts in his heart about me, doubts that came from his paranoia about me. He said that I lied to him and that he only tried to forget about my lies so that we can move forward. But I never lied to him. He accused me of flirting with other men through the internet, but I never did that. And then he accused me of being a lesbian just because he saw a photo of me with a friend he did not know. It was an ordinary photo and for the life of me, I will never understand how he thought that I was a lesbian because of that. The other day he said that he tried to forget about it though I never “confessed” about it. What will I confess when I am NOT a lesbian? He insisted that the photo was in a separate plastic sleeve in my photo box, so that must mean the woman in the photo is special to me and that before I met him, I was probably having relationships with both men and women.
I think our fight three years ago started when my best friend candidly said that she slept with our other male friend, Peter. My husband asked why I never told him this and that maybe I also slept with Peter because he used to sleep in my house. I never slept with Peter. EVER. My husband said that I probably had a plan to fool around with Peter, and that’s the reason why I never told him that my best friend slept with Peter. That’s a lie. A never told my husband because I knew he would judge my friend.
My husband cursed at me and I cursed him back. When we were vacationing with my friends and my brother and cousin, I snapped at my husband because I was very tired and he kept goofing around. And then he lashed at me for everyone to hear, cursing me from head to toe. So I cursed him right back because I didn’t want my younger brother and cousin to think that I don’t fight back.
My husband then said that it was my fault that he cursed at me and that I shouldn’t be friends with my best friend anymore because she was a bad influence. And then he found my message to a guy friend that said, “So how’s your personal life anyway? I hope everything’s well. God bless.” And he accused me of flirting with that man because I asked about his personal life. So I deleted all my email messages and private messages in fear that my husband will translate a simple “hello, how are you?” to “I want to have an affair with you.” Big mistake on my part. Because I deleted everything, he said it’s proof that I was guilty, that I was hiding something.
He found old photos of me, photos before I even met him, with people he didn’t know. And he said it was terrible that I kept those photos. I have to admit there were photos of me hugging a guy though I never had a relationship with that person. However, the photos might appear as if we’re in a romantic relationship. I told my husband those photos were taken before I met him but he said that I should’ve burned those photos anyway. He shoved a photo in my mouth. It wasn’t painful but it was degrading. Until now, I can’t decide and know for sure if it was really wrong of me to have kept those photos. Maybe I should’ve thrown them away.
It was hard for me to lose my best friend but I thought I needed to follow my husband’s bidding. I let go. I severed my connection to my old friends because my husband was very paranoid and I didn’t want to aggravate him. He had chosen a few friends I can talk to, but it seemed that these people avoided me as well. I knew it was because of my husband. For months, my husband kept my cellphone and monitored my emails, etc. I thought that I was going to lose my mind. I didn’t even know what time it was because there was no clock in the room. I told him this, and he bought clocks but did not return my cellphone. He said that it was his duty to protect me from friends who might try to influence me in a bad way. After a few months, he returned my cellphone but I had to change my number.
For three years I have learned to live without friends, except for those new ones from work. I thought that maybe my husband was right. I thought we’re okay. Until my aunt told him what she thought of him–that he always plays the victim based on the stories he told her. So my husband wanted me to sever my ties with my aunt and her family even though he knew my aunt was the one who raised me. He wanted me to sever ties with my family (except for my mom, dad, and siblings). He said they all disrespected him and I should blatantly tell them that he was a good person. He would lash at me when I didn’t fight for him and told my aunt that she shouldn’t have said those things to him. That my aunt should mind her own business.
Whenever we fought, I yelled back at him most of the time. But somehow, in all our fights, I always ended up being the one to blame so I learned to shut up. He would talk for hours, telling me off, cursing at me. At times when I can’t take it anymore, I’d hit him. Two days ago, I hit him because he kept insisting that I lied to him and I felt that he would only pay attention to me if I hit him so I did. And then he said to me that he kept quiet all this time but he had a suspicion that I was still talking to my relatives and maybe I was even giving them baked goods. I was so mad because there was no truth in those. I never gave them anything since he told me that we’ll be okay as long as I stand by him. I have done what he wanted, but he accused me of not doing it. And then he brought up the things he accused me of three years ago and said that he showed my photo (the one with my female friend) to a lesbian and that the lesbian said that it looked as if I, indeed, had a relationship with that woman. He said that he’s still waiting for my “confession.” What have I got to confess? I didn’t do anything wrong. I am not a lesbian. I never had any relationship with a girl. I didn’t say anything, realizing that these last three years he still thought that I had been unfaithful and lied to him about my past. How can we go on if deep in his heart he doesn’t believe me? And maybe it’s only a matter of time before he asks me to sever my ties with my folks and siblings. He said that it’s a good thing that we don’t have a child. And if we had children, he would take them away because he was sure I was going to be a bad mother.
Now I don’t know what to think anymore. What if he comes back? What if he asks to reconcile? Should I get back together with him? I have prayed for a husband and he was the one God sent to me. He is my husband. And I wasn’t a very good wife if I hit him. I don’t want to lose my family one day if he tells me to completely forget about them. I’m afraid that’s going to happen. It’s only a matter of time since he also commented on our last fight that my brother is subtly disrespecting him. I am tired of walking on eggshells. But he is my husband. I don’t want to be in that relationship anymore but if he comes back and says he will change? Maybe God would want me to try again? I don’t know what to do anymore, plus my period is delayed (a month and a half). I don’t know if I’m pregnant. And if I am, I know he’s going to say that maybe the child is not his because I never told him my period is delayed since this always happens anyway.
I am so confused. I am a mess. I don’t know what to do. Please pray for me. God bless.
Carla, I am so very sorry. You are being abused and manipulated. Isolation from family and friends is a common tactic. I was told many of the same things about my family (that they disrespected him), and I never felt as if I could freely and openly be part of my family. That is wrong. I was also accused of having an affair with every man who spoke to me (particularly after HE began his affairs). Anything HE was doing, I was doing. I think it was a way of shifting the blame from him to me, to alleviate some of his guilt and shame, to make me responsible for the destruction of our marriage rather than him. Everything was my fault, and he was an innocent victim (go to the archives on my blog and read about Abigail and Nabal).
While I can’t endorse physical or even verbal abuse, I can say kudos to you for standing up for yourself! I get it. I’ve been in your place. I’ve walked on eggshells. I’ve chosen to just endure the yelling and cursing because it was easier. I’ve allowed him to make everything my fault (that’s a fight I’m still fighting because I have kids with him). I get it.
What’s the answer? Hard to say. It sounds as if he has a true mental illness, one that is not easily healed. It doesn’t sound as if it is a safe environment for you. Do you let him come home? I’d say no. If he says he will change, do you believe him? I’d say not unless he begins the process–and sticks with it over several months or even years–while you are separated. Take time to get YOUR heart healed, to let God start a healing work in YOUR life. He will guide you and love you and transform you.
Sweet friend, you are in my prayers! I am so sorry for the hurt he has heaped upon you. But know this: your life is FAR from over! He has a great purpose for you, even for this pain! He has a beautiful future for you! He will take all this ugliness and use it for your good and his glory! You are a beautiful princess in his eyes. He is waiting with open arms to bring you home into his presence.
Lord Jesus, bind up the wounds and broken heart of this precious child. Let her feel your love and peace and presence. Give her eyes to see the truth. Give her clarity to know her next move. Give her power to know she is worth more than the way she has been treated. Help her to see the beauty within her, that you are captivated by her and love her relentlessly. Pursue her so that she will fully surrender to you. Work your transforming power in her life. In Jesus name I pray, amen.
I had a friend send your blog to me. I am trying to pick up the pieces of a 23 year marriage.
Things were a little rough as people go thru over the years, but we had many blessings in our
lives. Something I could not get my ex husband to see, As his ambitions to succeed overwhelmed everything. Never enough money, work, porn , or party friends to make him happy.
As I was caring for my mom who was terminally ill, and then my dad who died not long after,
he decided to share his affair with me and his plan to move on to build without me. We have
4 beautiful children. He was verbally abusive behind our kids back, making it look like I was the
one who wanted to leave. This is the only man I have ever loved. I never wanted for anything
in our lives. Except a caring hug. When we built our home, I looked down the road 25 years
to see what our grandchildren would like to see when they came to visit us. I am still trying to
move on, We were to retire early, as we were debt free then, a thing God calls us to be at our age. We were to travel this journey together, until he decided he needed a woman with money after the economy collapse of 2008. He listened to his worldly friends as he wandered away years ago from trusting in God and us.
Marianne, I am so sorry for your pain. Yes, it seems that lack of contentment is a huge factor in adultery. I know I saw it in my ex-husband. The church we were serving wasn’t big enough. We didn’t have the money to go on vacations like a lot of our friends (We had chosen for me to be a stay-at-home mom). We, as humans, get so busy looking at the things we don’t have that we miss the many blessings surrounding us.
My ex still tries to blame me, saying that I was the one who kicked him out. While technically true, he seems to leave out the years of adultery. He fails to see the emotional and verbal abuse he heaped upon me. He is so completely deceived. Satan managed to get his mind, and every part of his body followed.
I hate that we can so easily become entangled in sin, that we can be deceived so easily. That’s why it is essential to keep our minds focused on the Savior, to saturate our minds with the Word.
While I am so sorry you are enduring this pain, I can assure you that God sees and knows your pain. Even better, I know that he has great plans, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does (1 Peter 5:10).
Lord Jesus, I lift my friend to you with her broken heart. Give her a vision of the amazing future you have for her, a picture of the redemption, of the healthy and whole person you want her to be. Pick up the pieces of her broken heart and put them back together. Repay every pain she has experienced with two blessings. You are the God of new beginnings, the God of resurrection. Resurrect her life from the dead! In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.
Thank you so much for this blog. I have been struggling with the affects of my husband’s adultery and been trying to reconcile with him, but have had nothing more than continued pain and heart break. He has taken no remorse for what he has done, rejected any offer of counciling but I fear getting a divorce even though I am completely miserable.
My prayers for the past two years have been to get the strength to understand what God has for me in my life and to make my desire about him and not about my husband, who has not honored our marriage. Please pray with me because I know you truly understand my situation.
Thank you in advance!!
Yes, I do understand. We are taught that marriage is forever, and it is SO HARD to hear God say that it’s ok to walk away from a marriage. I don’t know his plan for you, but I do know that he gave me permission to walk away. Your situation sounds very similar to mine. I do know that God’s primary concern is your heart and the journey. Whatever the ultimate outcome, he will use the journey to mold you into his image. He will transform your desires. He will give you a new heart, a new life. All he wants from us is complete surrender.
Lord Jesus, I lift my friend before you. You know her hurt, her pain. You are not the author of fear or confusion. Give her clarity and direction. Give her peace. Show her the beauty that comes in the morning. Transform her into your image, and use this pain for your glory. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
Hi Dena,
I have enjoyed reading your articles. It is helpful to hear about your past circumstances, as well as others, and that life does get better. I too am going through a difficult time and don’t know what to do. I have been praying for many months and don’t feel God has given me direction yet…so I remain still. Six years ago my husband had an affair. It was devastating! I kept this a secret from my family and our children as they were ages 12 and 9. We went to counseling and things got better for a while. Over the past 2 years we have become very distant. He has many hobbies ( working out at the gym,running marathons, riding his motorcycle) and is gone for several hours on weekends and in the evenings on weekdays. His cell phone never leaves his side. I, on the other hand, consider my kids my hobbies. Our oldest is 18 so she is not home much but the youngest is 15 and she is my hobby. I don’t miss any event/game. We no longer do anything together. It is like living with a stranger. I asked him a few weeks ago if we could try to work things out. That I needed and wanted him in my life. He told me that he was done. He said he does not love me and there is nothing left for me in his heart. He said he is in no hurry for a divorce and does not feel I am emotionally ready for him to leave. My question is why does he stay? I feel as long as he lives here there is still hope. Am I fooling myself? I pray that God will work in our hearts and our marriage. Please let me know your thoughts and I appreciate your prayers.
Marriage is such hard work! I would say that as long as he is still there, there’s something keeping him around. I have seen amazing things happen in response to prayer. I don’t know where his heart is. If he cares enough not to leave because he doesn’t feel you are “emotionally ready,” he’s at least thinking about your good on some level. You mention that he always has his cell phone. Is it possible he’s involved with someone again? Do you suspect that he is lying to you? Has he regained your trust? If he is being faithful, is he still struggling with forgiving himself for the past? For your marriage to survive, it sounds like it will be on you initially. Stepping up and taking an interest in his life. Seeking common ground. Trying to rediscover the reasons you fell in love in the first place. I think we as women tend to lose ourselves in our marriages and families. We put ourselves aside, and we lose the mystique. We don’t know who we are outside of our kids and family. Embark on a journey of discovering your heart and passion. Find the purpose for which God created you. Develop some hobbies and interests. I’ve spent a lot of time on this journey rediscovering myself, finding the things about which I am passionate! I know that I lost myself, in part because I put myself aside for my family. Never again! God created me for a purpose, not just to be a wife or a mom.
Lord Jesus, I pray for this precious family, that you would take their hearts and knit them together tightly. Give Stacey wisdom to know what she can do for her marriage. Draw her husband’s heart back to you. Only you can step in and save this marriage. That’s what we ask. In Jesus name I pray.
Dear Dena,
I stumbled onto your site accidentally. I was searching today for advice for women balancing work, family, and faith. That search returned “3 Beautiful Truths Every Divorced Christian Needs to Know” with a link to Dena’s Devos. I have never been divorced, but the article caught my eye. While many of your readers have felt the sting of divorce, I am actually on the other side.
I married a wonderful husband this past November, who has been divorced twice. He has a teenage daughter, and a relationship with her mother is non-existent and non-cooperative. He has a 9 year old boy with the woman he divorced 2 years ago. We are starting to get more cooperation from his mother, and visitation mandated by the courts recently, so I am growing a relationship with him.
This more recent divorce was the result of my husband’s ex having an affair with his brother. Now my step-son spends most of his time with his mother and uncle/step dad, and this has been so hard for me to watch because they seem to constantly intentionally damage my husband’s reputation and force negative opinions on my step son. Your point about always teaching your children to honor their father resonates with me. It is so hurtful to see someone -who chose to be unfaithful and chose to create this tumultuous situation in the life of an innocent little boy who was only about 5 when all this started- actively degrade a kid’s father in front of him and run interference in a father’s efforts to see his son. She has actually said to me on more than one occasion that she doesn’t wish to be judged for her affair and marriage to her brother-in-law.
It causes me so much anger, and brings so much hurt for my step son and my husband who I love dearly. Every time I feel this anger, I feel like I shouldn’t feel this way and I shouldn’t judge. I need prayer for dealing with these feelings. As much as my husband has been hurt, and needs to find forgiveness, I also have been hurt less directly and need to be able to forgive. I need prayer for wisdom in how to defend my husband’s character to his son, without pointing the finger at his mother. Or then I would be guilty of the very same thing, defaming a parent’s character in front of her child. I don’t think he’s ready for us to explain that his mommy committed adultery, but at the same time I don’t want him to think that he sees his daddy so much less now because of any fault of the daddy; its because the mom kept him from him. I so badly want to impress on him that Daddy did not want them to live separately, it was his mom who made the decision to leave. I want him to respect my husband, and I feel we make progress when he is with us but then it is undone when he goes home to his mother and step-father who falsely slander his name. I brings out so much anger in me, and I just am praying for peace within me in this situation, and that I will be able to trust that the Lord will resolve it in His time. I pray that this hurting 9 year old can grow to be a well adjusted young man who loves his dad. God help me to be patient, to know when to hold my tongue, and when & what to speak. I am so afraid I will say something hastily, then regret it once it has hit the ears of a 9-year-old and it’s too late to take it back.
Thank you Dena for your helpful and insightful articles. Thank you for dedicating yourself to sharing your experiences with others and praying for others. God has used your suffering for the good of those who love him.
Your heart is so beautiful! I commend you for fighting this fight in the Spirit!
I think someone caught in sin is so deceived they often throw their sin on others. To deflect their own guilt, they accuse everyone else of all types of sin. I know that has been my situation. The divorce is my fault because I kicked him out (after years of adultery). The kids don’t have a good relationship with him because I constantly turn them against him (despite the many late nights I have listening to the hurt and pain and encouraging my kids to honor him). I have just accepted that the guilt will always cause him to make it my fault. And that’s ok.
Kids are smart. Love, grace, and understanding go a long way to helping kids see the truth. My ex has tried to convince my kids that it was my fault. They know the truth and don’t buy into his lies. I will say that I told my kids from an early age the biblical reasons behind our divorce. I’m not sure if it was the right thing to do. I do have a friend that chose not to share that truth with her son. It eventually came out when her son was around 11 years old. It caused a deep division because he felt as if she had lied to him all those years.
What I know is that your love and kindness, your refusal to let anger and bitterness control you, your heart to lead this precious child will go a long way.
The only way I have found to keep my anger and bitterness at bay is prayer. Pray for him. Pray for your son. Pray for yourself. Pray for wisdom. Pray that God will love parent through you.
Please know you are in my prayers!
I came across your writings via Facebook, and were deeply blessed and encouraged by what you write!
Five years ago God met me and called me into a much deeper relation to him. It was amazing to discover that God is actually alive and that he loves me and speaks to me! Some months later my wife got cancer and had to go trough 1,5 year of chemoterapy and has suffered from post cancer fatigue the last couple of years. In this process she has been very angry at God and has left the faith in Him. She has also suffered from depression occasionally, and feel that she hasn’t been able to be a mother for her kids, which has left a big scar in her heart. I have tried to show compassion with her and support her and take care of our kids, but she says that she has felt alone and that either me or God was there for her when she needed us…
I really believe that God wants to heal her wounds and restore our marrage, but she doesn’t know it she want anything to do with God anymore. Also, I believe that God wants to heal everything that the last 5 years has done with our marrage, and restore the lines of communication between me and my wife. Currently there’s many elephants in the room and I am struggeling to get through to her and tell her how much I care about her. I try to communicate but there’s so many scars in her heart that wont heal… This situation has naturally also made it very difficult to talk about God, and she doesn’t like me and our kids going to church, me reading the bible and beeing such a good friend with the God that she feels let her down so badly..
The situation is very hard for the both of us, and I belive that only God can restore us (but I truly believe that he can)!! I dream that my wife can let the Him back into her heart and let Him heal the broken pieces, and that we can work together on our marrage with His help.
I would be very glad if you can pray for my wife and me! Thank you!
My heart breaks for you! Yes, trials can make us bitter or better. It’s extremely hard when a trial draws one closer to God and the other spouse turns away. I only know that the time I spent running from God turned out to be a huge turning point–the time where I first understood how much my savior lives me and how much I need his forgiveness. I pray that one day your wife will have the same testimony.
Lord Jesus, my heart aches for this precious family torn apart by the trials and tribulations of this life. I pray for healing in every aspect of their lives–spiritual, physical, emotional. I pray that you would pursue this wife with your relentless love, that she would experience your unrelenting pursuit of her. Help her to find you irresistible. Restore this marriage. Renew their love. Give them a beautiful testimony of your ability to resurrect from the dead! In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
I would like prayer for me my children and husband. We are separated and he has had multiple affairs over the past decade that I know of. But recently while living apart and seeking to reconnect I find proof of another and while in hurt and anger he just tells me it’s not physical all have just been talking and only conversation that he lacks from me. Please pray for God’s will as I do not know the right path to take . I have prayed for guidance wisdom and seem to be hitting a wall. My children are suffering as well. We have 4 together and I have 1 older child from before him.
Thank you
I will absolutely pray for wisdom and direction. I think discerning God’s will in this area is so difficult. I truly believe that God set me free, but it is so hard to hear him tell you that it’s ok to walk away from your marriage. It is contrary to everything you hear. But, scripture does teach that divorce is acceptable in the case of adultery.
Lord Jesus, I lift my friend to you today. I know you hear her cries, see her broken heart. I know that you are looking deep within and seeing her desire to honor you. I pray that you would give her ears to hear your voice, clarity to discern her will. Touch her heart. Bind up her wounds. Heal her and her children. Give them a glimpse of the beautiful future you have for them. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
Dena:
I, too, thank you for your writing and words of encouragement. My wife of 22 years has decided that she needs to be “free” from me and our marriage. We have 3 children – one away at college, the other 2 will be staying with me. We have been trying for the past 7 years to move past her 1st affair, but it seems we went about it the wrong way – reaching out to God separately to heal our hearts. She now tells me that she has been miserable the entire time and that misery has led to her 2nd affair – an online “friendship” that recently graduated to an in-person meeting and plans for the other man to move here from another country. She has refused my request to seek counseling and hired an attorney. She feels the only way she can be happy is to leave me and our children and pursue a relationship with the other man. My wife is a Christian who has always believed that adultery and divorce go against God’s will, but when I asked her if she felt God was OK with her affair, her desire to divorce and her planned future with the other man, she emphatically said “Yes!” At the same time, she is concealing her affair from everyone (except me) and simply telling anyone who asks that being married to me makes her miserable and she has to get away.
In the meantime, God has been dealing *heavily* with me that this divorce is a tragic mistake in the making and showing me, daily, that I need to stand for my marriage, live out my vows and let Him deal with my wife. It seems the woman I am in love with was lost prior to her 1st affair and she has been unable to find her way back, so far.
As you can imagine, I am hurting deeply. I would sincerely appreciate your prayers – for me – that I can find the strength and comfort I need to be true to my vows and continue to grow closer to Him and become the husband He and my wife need me to be. For my wife – that she will tender her heart enough to allow His Holy Spirit to turn her away from her sins, that she will truly repent and accept forgiveness. And for my marriage – that our love can be restored with Jesus as the foundation. I know all things are possible with God. I truly believe that He can work a miracle in both our lives and give us both a new heart longing to live for Him and each other. I see Him reaching out to both of us each day and I pray my wife will once again heed His calling, soon…
We need all the prayers we can get!
Thank you!
Oh, Mike! My heart aches for you. Your wife is deceived. She has lost her grip on truth. She is believing so many lies. I completely respect you, your love for your wife, and your commitment to cling to God and your covenant. God will reward you for your incredible faithfulness in the midst of so much pain.
Lord Jesus, I thank you for Mike, his heart for you, his heart for his wife. I pray that you would give him strength and encouragement for the difficult days. Give him the ability to supernaturally love his wife, to win her heart again. I pray that you would reveal truth to his wife, that she would see the lies that Satan has convinced her to believe. Let truth flood her mind so that she can be set free. Lord, you are able! We trust you to intervene. In Jesus name I pray, amen.
Hi Dena,
I want to thank you for sharing your words of encouragement and wisdom. My husband of 8 years announced to me on Valentines Day this year he no longer wanted the responsibility of taking care of me or our 8 year old disabled daughter. He was filing for divorce. I sit here frozen, scared and devastated, not sure how I will support my daughter, where will we live, who will babysit her because she has autism. I know the Lord wants me to trust in him completely. It’s so hard right now. I ask for prayer for my situation. I don’t even know what to ask for.
Thank you,
Rondi
I’m so very sorry. It is the scariest thing to suddenly be on your own, to have these precious little ones looking to you as their sole support. But, I know that God is faithful! You are in a position to experience the power of the Great I AM! You get to see modern day miracles unfold before your eyes. Your heart will (eventually) be healed. Your needs will be provided for. You will meet your savior like never before.
Lord Jesus, my heart aches for my precious friend. You promise that you will be near the broken hearted, bind up their wounds. I pray that you would wrap my friend in your loving arms today. Let her feel your presence like never before. Let her see your hand of mercy and grace provide for her every need. Help her as she takes this journey of learning to walk by faith and not by sight. Give her your peace, your guidance. Strengthen her and support her as only you can. Let her know she’s not in this battle alone! In Jesus name I pray, amen.
Praying daily for you!
I am in the middle of making a huge decision and need prayer. My husband has been abusing me both mentally and physically for nearly four years. Last week was the worst episode we had ever had and now I want a divorce…I think. My heart is torn! I love him very much but our relationship for the most part has been nothing but bad. Now this has happened. He hit me in my face so hard it knocked me to the floor. I still have a terrible black eye. He choked me so hard it left marks on my neck and it seemed like he was going to squeeze all the air out of me. My whole family is concerned and wants me to leave. In all honesty I want out also…but there is a part of me that loves him still and is very fearful of being alone. I need prayers for strength and wisdom!
Oh… I BEG you to get out before he kills you! Please! You are so much more valuable than that! This is in no way love. He is only looking to control you. His behaviors will escalate. You are not safe. You don’t have to file for divorce yet. But please, i beg you, get to safety. Separate yourself so you can think clearly. Step back so you can see the truth of the matter. You can’t see or think clearly in the midst of the situation. Get a restraining order. File a police report. I don’t think he will let you leave easily.
He has probably led you to believe that you deserve it, that no one will love you. That is a lie from Satan! You are beautiful! You are worthy! You are deserving of love! You are chosen by God, his precious princess. Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t settle for someone who treats you like an object that he owns. Let God lead you to someone who will love you with sacrificial love, who will treasure you, who will treat you with kindness, love and respect.
You are loved, my friend. I am praying for your strength, for your safety. I am praying for clarity, for wisdom. I promise that God does NOT want you in this situation. You are too precious…
Please, please, please… Find the escape…and let me know that you are safe…
Please pray for my daughter she is 16 years of age and does not want to go to the church I am worshiping for some certian reasons which she might be correct but I Want that she should try to be submissive to what I .tell her as a mother. And God should take her away from all ongodly freinds
Parenting struggles. There are certainly no easy answers. I will certainly keep you and your daughter in my prayers.
Lord Jesus, I lift my friend to you today. You know her heart. You see her pain. You hear her cries. In your sovereignty, reach down and answer. Give her wisdom to know how she should handle her daughter and church. Open the lines of communication so they can talk openly and honestly. Give mutual respect and understanding. Help her daughter to submit and honor and obey. Surround her with amazing godly friends who will draw her closer to you! In Jesus name we pray, amen.
Prayer request: Going through a divorce due to much husband’s infidelity and verbal abuse. I have three kids and will struggle greatly due to financial constraints. I read your devotion about divorce and its helpful to know I’m nit alone.
Thank you.
Blessings
Susan, I’m so sorry for your pain. I know the pain of adultery and verbal/emotional abuse all too well. I’m not going to lie: it can be challenging financially. But, by the grace of God, we have never lacked for our needs. He has been so faithful! And, my income has increased drastically over the course of five years! God will make a way when it seems impossible!
Lord Jesus, you are the God who sees. You are the God who hears. I know that you see Susan’s pain and her fears. I know that you hear her pleas for help and direction. Help her to lay her requests before you and wait in expectation, knowing that you are at work even when you seem silent. Take care of her every financial need. Teach her to trust beyond her human abilities. Build an unshakeable faith in her. Wrap her in your arms and help her to know that she is never alone for never will you leave her, never will you forsake her. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
Susan, I pray that you will find strength and peace. If you love your husband, I know the pain is so much that you feel you cannot go on, but please know that your kids need you not just to provide for them but also to be a good example. I wish I could help you, but I will pray for you.
Hello Dena, thank you for the article on walking by faith. I am struggling with leaving my comfort zone to go full time in ministry mainly doing summer vbs. There’s a fine line between faith and foolishness of which I struggle. Thanks for the prayer sister.
Larry
You are correct about that fine line! You have to be absolutely certain it is God calling you. If it is him, then you can walk forward confident that he is in control–even when life is spiraling wildly out of control!
Lord Jesus, I lift my friend to you and ask that you would give him absolute confidence and clarity in the direction he is to walk. Let your peace that surpasses all understanding sweep in and overwhelm him. Carry him through these scary and difficult days, and let him see you in all your power and your might! Pour your spirit out on him and do an amazing work in him so you can do an amazing work through him! In Jesus name I pray, amen.
Hey Dena, maybe you remember me? I attended Surrey hills 5 years ago and longer. Romeo is my husband’s name and we have 3 kids. We are in the process of a divorce due to 19 years of betrayal and lies that were recently uncovered. My story is long and depressing and so leaving it here isn’t my goal but I remember when you yourself went through a terrible time like this. Good is good, all the time. He is my rock and my portion. I am hoping that you have some good Christian advice, books, tips that every divorced Christian needs to read. Along with that, I am asking for prayer. My biggest concern is for my kids. Thanks Dena.
Amy, you’ve been on my heart all day. I am so very sorry. As I told you today, I am always available. Feel free to call me if you need a shoulder to cry on. I get it…I totally get it.
I remember telling God how I did not want this journey. But, I’ve accepted His blessings all my life; who am I to say I won’t accept this? It has truly ended up being the most amazing journey! As Job said, “Before I had heard of you, but now I know you.” Hang on for the ride of your life!
In the early days, I couldn’t read. I picked up Angela Thomas’s book My Single Mom Life, but initially it was just too painful to read. Eventually, it was a great read. Pam Kanaly has a new book out The Single Mom and Her Roller Coaster Emotions. Go to http://www.ariseministries.net and check out some of her information. Next June, come up to Oklahoma and go to the Single Mom Survive and Thrive conference with me. Max Lucado’s book You’ll Get Through This is also a great read. And, mark your calendar for August 31. The Sitting Room with Kathy Chiero will be airing a special on adultery and divorce. I’ll get more details later.
Your kids will be ok! You will have bad days, and they will comfort you. You will let little things get the best of you. You will make mistakes. But, God will step in and cover over your weaknesses. His strength is made perfect in your weakness! I ask Him every day to parent through me. I ask Him to be the Father to my fatherless children. He has been so faithful, and they have grown SO much! Give them time to see that the four of you will be ok. They will take their cues from you, and they will never surpass your level of emotional and spiritual health. Get yourself healthy…but remember it takes time!
Lord Jesus, my heart aches for Amy and the kids. Wrap your arms around them, and help them to see your faithfulness. Let them experience the Great I Am! I pray that you would carry them through this unwelcome journey, and help them to find the joy of camping in the wilderness with you by their side. Do a mighty work in them so you can do a mighty work through them! In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
God bless you, Dena. I wrote you awhile back, and I can also attest that God is good. Although the divorce was finalized last October, I realize now that God did a rescue mission for me. And that while he does hate divorce, he loves me as his child. Still struggle sometimes, but I’m better. He’s worth it.
I become more convinced every day that God hates divorce because of the pain it causes His dearly loved children! I am glad you are better. Be prepared to continue to struggle…It gets easier, but it takes a lot of time. Press into your Savior and let Him meet your every need, bind up your broken heart, and lead you to the abundant life He has planned!
I stumbled upon your “Wrestling with God” essay today. It struck me as different because of the way you related Jacob’s struggle as a metaphor for our own relationship with God. I’ve been wrestling myself now for 2 1/2 years. I’m so tired of trying to hold onto faith and hope. Much of the time I’m not even sure what I believe anymore. You see, after 20 years of marriage, my wife left me for someone else, and I’m now on the brink of a divorce not of my choosing. I never thought this could happen to me. I never would have believed my wife was capable of this. I also never would have thought that 2 1/2 years after learning of her affair I’d still be just as brokenhearted and despondent as I was at the start. I would never have thought that I would still love the woman who has so disrespected me, our children, and our marriage, but I do. I just don’t feel God’s hand or God’s comfort in all this yet I can’t bring myself to “curse God and die” either. I’m just so tired. Not a very manly or macho thing to admit, I know, but there it is. I know my story is not unique in the world, but that makes it no less a struggle for me.
My heart aches for you as I know the struggle you are experiencing oh so well! My marriage ended after nearly 17 years…because of his affair…despite my offer of forgiveness. I know the pain of wondering if you will ever be able to walk forward again. I know the anger at God, of wondering if I ever wanted to follow Him again because it didn’t work out so well the first time. I also know the reality of falling on my knees and saying, “God, I don’t want this but I surrender to you, to this journey.” I know the joy of seeing God provide for my every need, my every hurt, my every fear. I know what it is to see the Great I Am in every area of my life. I know what it is to see Him bind up my broken heart and get me back on my feet again. I know what it is to see Him take the worst thing that could have ever happened to me–the loss of the one thing I held most dear–and turn it into a ministry, encouraging others. I know what it is to experience joy so great despite incredible loss. I know what it is to allow God to use the very thing that could have destroyed me and turn it into something good.
I know at your stage, it is hard to believe that joy comes in the morning–but it does. It is not an easy path, but I guarantee that if you surrender and ask God to do an amazing work in you, He will be faithful! And, He will redeem the years the locusts have eaten. He will repay every trouble with double blessings. He will blow your mind at His great love for you!
I am currently on the waiting list for my second double lung transplant, because I am in chronic rejection. I am a single mom to two beautiful children ages 8 & 6. Please pray that I get a match soon and recover quickly, and for my children as well. Thank you so much. God Bless
My heart aches for you, Nicole! As I read your request, I couldn’t hold back the tears. The question going through my mind in recent days has been, “Do you believe I am able to do this?” (see Matthew 9). When the answer is yes, Jesus responds with, “According to your faith, let it be done to you.” I know God is able to heal you, and that is my prayer. Please find Craig Groeschel’s sermon The Counselor: Part 2 (4/6/14). I hope you find tremendous encouragement in it.
Lord Jesus, we believe that you are able to heal Nicole and we call on you for that healing. We call on you for your peace that surpasses all understanding to guard her heart and mind in you–and the hearts and minds of her children. My heart aches for her as she faces such difficult circumstances. Be her Healer. Be her Strength. Be her loving Father. Be her Jehovah Jireh. Father, while we can’t see the work that you are doing in the trials, we are keenly aware of how much you accomplish in us as we struggle through this life. Do a mighty work in Nicole and her children so that you can do a mighty work through them. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
Thank you for your article on Crosswalk…The Work of Waiting for God. I have been waiting for so long….I am 56 and am divorced after 28 years of marriage. My ex husband was and is a cold mean man. My adult children bear many emotional scars (he no longer speaks to our own daughter after some very tough years with her behavior). My children dont respect me, why should they…they never saw him do it. I cannot find a job and this all has been going on for years and years. I am so exhausted. I take it by faith that God hears me but I am at the point I do not know what to do. I have been deeply hurt by unkind comments about my unemployment from close friends and family, they simply dont understand what it is like out there. Physically and emotionally i’m drained to the core of my being. Pray that God strengthens my faith and gives me peace in Christ and that i will trust Him to provide. Thank you.
Shelley, I am so very sorry. I know the feeling of exhaustion, of feeling as if you can’t go another day. No one can understand unless they have walked in your shoes. I do know there are brighter days ahead! God promises to bless those who seek Him wholeheartedly, those who have a pure heart! I know that God is with you–even if you can’t sense it. Do your best to lean into Him. Trust Him to let the truth come to life. Pray for your children and your ex-husband. I know the feeling of being so drained that you can’t pray. If that’s the case, just cry “Jesus,” and trust that the Holy Spirit is making intercession for you. He knows your heart and your needs!
Lord Jesus, I life Shelley before your throne of grace and pray that she would find comfort and mercy today. Flood her life with your peace that surpasses all understanding to guard her heart and mind in you. Help her to know that in her weakness, you are stronger than ever. Provide for her every need. Sustain her emotionally and physically. Restore her. Put her back together and get her on her feet for good. In Jesus name I pray, amen.
The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. 1 Peter 5:10 (The Message)
Hello! My prayer request is for good to come from evil- please pray that God uses my affair, sinful actions and deepest repentance to strengthen the love he gave my husband and I, the healing I need and can only get from Him, and the ability within me to do His work, live in love, and bring sweetness and love into my husbands life every day- through Gods grace, amen!
I believe with all my heart that if you both fully surrender, God can take the evil and make a beautiful marriage–above and beyond all you could ever ask or imagine!
Lord Jesus, reach down today and heal this broken marriage. Let true repentance be evident, and let your forgiveness flow. I pray that you would take the pieces of their broken lives and fashion them into a masterpiece created by you. Let them see that you are doing a new thing (Isaiah 43:19), and help them to submit fully. Give them the ability to cling to your promise that all things work together for good to those who love you (Rom 8:28). I pray that they would cling to you knowing that this suffering will only last for a little while and that it won’t be long before you have them put together and on their feet for good (1 Peter 5:10). In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
I don’t know if you are still taking prayer requests but I wanted to ask for your prayers any way. Your writing has encouraged me and I thank you so much but I don’t know if I can ever be so courageous or gracious. I feel like such a failure, like I have been thrown out with the trash and that I am being punished for the rest of my life by my husband and his family for things he never even talked to me about.
We have been married for 32 years. My husband is a truck driver and every week he was stopping in Pennsylvania I thought he was seeing his mother and sister and he was really seeing an old girlfriend from high school which he hasn’t seen in 40 years. He had found her on Facebook and they were having an affair got a year before I knew anything about it, but his whole family did. Thanksgiving 2012 he left and never came back. He has been living with her for a year and had totally abandoned me with no support no explanation nothing except that it’s not going to work out….really after 32 years….and he doesn’t love me anymore.
I still can’t get over the pain and the hurt and I cry all the time. I can’t seem to pick myself up from this one and yet he has moved on as though I never existed. I have two grown son’s and the grandsons that live here in Tennessee and he is in Pennsylvania and never sees them and only contacts then when he wants something.
I am so devastated and I haven’t been nice as much as I wanted to. I’m sorry to say I want him to hurry as much as I Ann hurting and he doesn’t even care. But the worst part is that I have cried in front of my sons. They have seen how weak and at times how helpless and even hopeless I have become and I don’t know if I can ever turn that image of myself around for them. I am in so much pain and fear of the future alone when I will be sixty next year I cannot cope. I feel like if I let go I am telling him it’s okay what he has done and it doesn’t matter, he wins, I lose, and I become the pitiful yeah he threw out in the first place.
Please pray for peace that’s all I want right now. Peace and for the worst pain I have ever known to go away.
Robin, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing as I read your message. My heart aches for you, and I remember the days where I felt just as you did. I wish I could sit with you and just be your friend–walking you through your pain. I will definitely be in prayer for you as you travel this unwelcome and painful journey.
So much going through my mind, I don’t even know where to start. You talk about your sons seeing you cry. Please don’t hide your pain! Let people in. Your sons understand your hurt and would be more concerned if they didn’t see you cry! What they probably aren’t letting you know is that they are as crushed as you but they want to be strong for you. My oldest–who was only ten when his dad left–immediately said, “I guess I am the man of the family now.” The oldest son almost always goes into protective mode–feeling as if it is his responsibility to care for and protect you. I am sure that your boys are trying to understand their emotions as well as how to protect you. As you go forward, they will be amazed at your strength and have even more respect for you.
As for your future, I don’t know what God has for you, but I know He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). He is waiting for your to surrender all of your hurts and pains to Him so that He can carry you through these dark and difficult days. 1 Peter 5:10 gave me such tremendous hope: The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good.
I remember struggling with how a man could ever take in a middle-aged woman with three young kids. Who would ever be willing to take on my children and love them as his own? As I hopelessly walked through my life, I remember lamenting this to God one day. God so clearly said, “Dena, you are not just looking for a man. You are looking for a man who loves me with his whole heart, soul, mind, and strength.” That moment has stuck in my mind for years, realizing that the man who loves God completely will also love me–and my kids and all my baggage–because of his great love for our Savior! God CAN restore a relationship and give you a marriage far greater than you ever imagined! (I have a friend who went through the same thing at your age and she is happily married again, just in case you doubt me!)
As for letting go of the past, it is essential. By accepting and moving on, you are not allowing him to win. To the contrary, when you become all that God created you to be–by showing him your strength to move forward and be happy without him–you are showing him what he is missing out on! He may never admit it, but he will notice. The other thing you have to realize is that he is messed up! His mind is so deceived right now. In one of the last sermons my ex-husband preached, he made the statement that Satan gets us to doubt the good gifts God has placed in our lives, causing us to be tempted by something we perceive as a good gift. That’s where my husband was. He was looking at all the things he didn’t have–a bigger church, more money–and failed to realize that he had a wife that loved him deeply, children that adored him, and a church that respected him. He has convinced his family that I had multiple affairs, that I was controlling and negative, that I was awful to live with. And, I think he truly believes that because it’s the only way he can live with what he has done. The truth is, I’ve been told how encouraging I am, how I never spoke an unkind word about him. I know I didn’t have affairs. In short, I KNOW THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH HAS SET ME FREE! I could dwell on what he is saying, but I choose to let my Savior be my defender. And, HE never fails me! I am praying that God would allow me to see my ex-husband as He sees Him, as a helpless and harassed sheep. It’s not easy when you’ve been criticized and lied about, but the bitterness will eat me alive if I allow it. I prefer the freedom that comes with forgiveness!
My heart aches for you. I just want you to know that the Savior waits with outstretched arms, ready to carry you into a beautiful future He is planning just for you!
Lord Jesus, my heart aches for my friend. I pray that today you would reach down and let her feel your comfort and your presence. Help her to know that you are waiting to usher her into a beautiful future you have prepared for her. Give her a glimpse of that future so that she can walk confidently into an unknown future. Father, flood her soul with your peace that surpasses all understanding. Help her to cling to your promises and surrender every hurt and pain and fear to you. Reach down and embrace her today. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
Please pray for my girlfriend Angel and I. My girlfriend Angel and I haven’t talked to each other in about a week. I am not to sure what is going on with us. We have known each other for about 5 years and have been going out for 5 months. Things were going good between us as far as I knew before Angel moved. After Angel moved I tried to hang out with her at times, but Angel kept telling me that she was busy and didn’t have time to see or hang out with me. Angel does have 3 kids and recently hurt her arm and shoulder having her arm in a sling. Angel has told me that she does care about me, that I am a wonderful guy and that she wants to work things out between us. Lately it seems like she is either to busy or doesn’t want to hang out with me. I have been for the past week trying to give her some space and only sent her an email apologizing for possibly being a little to pushy maybe and bothering her by trying to hang out with her and find out what’s going on. I do like and care about her a lot and would like things to work out with her. I know that 2 of her kids have said that they don’t have a problem with me and that it doesn’t bother them when I am over their house visiting. Yes, Angel could be busy, but I find it a little hard to think that for the past couple weeks to a month that she is so busy that she can’t find anytime to hang out or let me come over and visit for at least 15 minutes. I would like for us to be in an open, honest relationship and have it work out. I also know that her kids father doesn’t care for me and has complained about me to Angel. I know her kids don’t like to listen to well and her oldest daughter is a little bit of a problem child. Please pray for healing for Angel, her kids and I. Pray that our relationship can be mended and saved from falling apart. That we can get through the storms and trails in our life together. Also, that we can be open and honest with each other. Pray that Angel will start showing more that she does care and want to be with me like she says she does. Pray that I can be patient and give Angel the space she needs. That Angel can get the help she need with her kids as well. that Angel and I can become one flesh together with Jesus at the center of our relationship together.
Lord Jesus, you know Jason’s heart and the desires of his heart. You also know all of the details of the situation and what is best for all those involved. I pray that your hand of wisdom and guidance would be upon Jason as he walks through this time. Give him wisdom to know what to say and when to say it. Guide his every word, his every action. I pray that Angel would see your love through Jason. Whatever the fears, whatever the problems, give courage to face those issues head on, knowing that you are in control. May your peace which surpasses all understanding guard their hearts and their minds in Christ Jesus. Father, let your will be done in these lives. In Jesus’s name we pray, amen.
Thanks for the prayers and encouraging words. It’s greatly appreciated.
How do you explain to kids less than 10yrs what a divorce is, how do you make them understand why their daddy is not leaving with thier mummy?
That’s a tough one. For me personally, it was very important that my kids understand the biblical basis for our divorce–that Daddy had chosen to have a girlfriend and that was not Ok with God or me. I was fortunate that opportunities had arisen in the months before our divorce to begin to talk about the subject. We had been talking occasionally about others who had been in our situation, so they were familiar with terms such as divorce and adultery. I think you have to take individual personalities and maturity levels into account and discuss at their level. My oldest (who was 10 at the time) was very wise for his age. I was able to be more open and honest with him. My younger two (who were 5 and 8) are more emotional. We had to do a lot more consoling with them.
After I explained that there dad would be moving out of the house, I found the most important thing was for them to see that I was strong enough and capable to handle the situation. They needed security more than anything. I tried to convey to them a very positive attitude–that we would not only survive this mess, but we would thrive. I tried to build an anticipation in them of how God would meet all of our needs. We made it a point to have fun together–whether it was a cheap pizza and movie rental or some other activity we could find to do together.
No matter what, encourage them to love their dad and honor him. Let them know that their dad loves them, and the divorce is not their fault. Make sure they know you expect them to continue to treat their dad the way God would have them to–honor and obey.
I hope that helps. Know that I am praying for you in this difficult season. God will be faithful to see you through!
Dena, I find myself in a battle of what to do. I think I may have discovered about a month ago may husband is seeing other women. I had been blinded for the past 2 1/2 yrs as our youngest daughter has been sick. We thought we had a diagnosis and then a year later, with a 2nd opinion, no diagnosis. It has taken our daughter a year to get completely off her meds. Last week infact we just found out her adrenals are producing cortisol again. PTL.
With that said during the past 6 mos. my husband has lost nearly 50lbs, went to the doctor and is now on Testosterone and low dose Cialis, bought a motorcycle within 2wks of telling me he would wait to save the money and wait for a good deal in winter. I feel like he is going through some mid-life crisis. He is 47 and we have been married 25 yrs this past June.
During the past month I have discovered through our internet history that he views personal encounters on Craig’s List of couples looking for other couples or a third party to participate in whatever you can imagine. ( I was so shocked that people would put that stuff on there)
Then I find other unknown women’s phone numbers in his contacts, checked our phone activity to find that he’s been texting a few of them. He actually called one of them this week and talked for 20 min. ( He tells me that he cannot talk at work and he puts in phone in his locker unless he is at lunch, on break or leaving work, this was not a lunch time or break time when he called her) I think he is planning something for this weekend with her. He told me he has a lot of work to do at our farm and is staying there Sat night as to save travel time and gas as he is going to a rifle shoot on Sunday morning so he can’t come home.
I feel he is having a mid-life crisis, and is addicted to porn and she is his fantasy. I have been doing a partial fast during the day then eat regular meal at dinner with the family. I have been praying and praying for a change of his heart, that the holy spirit would convict him, and someone would come along his path to say something that would open his eyes. I know this is yet another attack from Satan, first with our daughter and just when we could see some daylight, wham Satan hits again. I know this battle belongs to the Lord, but I find myself trying to dig and dig to do everything I can to get undeniable facts before I confront him. My other concern is for our daughters one who had been sick. I don’t want to have a relapse as this could all be related to stress anyway weather mental or physical. She was such a competitive athlete before that all the physical activity could have wore her adrenals out and now they have had time to rest are beginning to work again. If the mental stress of this could cause a relapse and I will do anything to protect my children. Our oldest daughter is at Purdue studying engineering and has a 4.0 GPS going into her junior year. I don’t want this type of stress to ruin what she’s got going on, she is so brilliant and God had gifted her so much, her future is looking so bright. Again I don’t want mess anything up for my children.
So as you stated above “I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.” Matthew 18:19
Would you stand with me in agreement for his change of heart and healing of pornography. That his eyes be open to see what he is doing.
Karen, what did you end up deciding to do? I just saw this, and am praying you’ve been able to get some help with your marriage.
I would love to hear updates! My heart breaks for each one who has shared his/her story with me. It is sad to see how Satan is destroying the family. But, I continue to praise God for being the Redeemer of all things!
I need prayer for complete surrender to Jesus Christ. I am involved in an affair, but not with a woman. I am a person who is in recovery and have fallen and done terrible things against my family. I know God has forgiven me, however, I am full of shame at this point. I need Jesus now more than ever before I destroy myself completely.
My heart aches for you as I know the struggle, fear, and shame must be overwhelming! However, remember that Satan is the accuser of the brethren. When Christ convicts you of your sin, it is to bring you back to Him, to restore that loving relationship He longs to have with you! You recognize your need to surrender, and that is the first step to returning to the life you desire!
Lord Jesus, I cry out to you on behalf of my brother, Brian. My heart aches for him as I can sense the overwhelming burden he is carrying. I pray today that you would give him the ability to surrender every area of his heart fully and completely to you. I pray that you would lead him down paths of righteousness. I pray that you would silence his accuser and allow your peace that surpasses all understanding to sweep over him. Help him to have a glimpse of the mighty work you want to do in him so that you can do a mighty work through him. Help him to approach your throne of grace confidently today so that he might receive mercy and find grace in this hour of need. In Jesus’s mighty and holy name we pray, Amen.
LORD i am knocking at your merciful heart please may you allow that Garrick David’s problem in Malaysia Airport will end quickly and i pray he will get his clearance charges for his baggage so he can continue his journey.LORD please please give him strength and comport in his situation in Malaysia Airport i pray this in JESUS name our LORD.Amen
Praying with you, Sylvia! Lord, Please give your mercies to Garrick. You know his situation, and we trust you to resolve it fully and completely–as only you can. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
Currently dealing with similar situation as yourself; former minister’s wife, divorce pending. Hard to pray/trust right now, still pretty heartbroken.
My heart breaks for you as I remember those days of being unable to pray, the days of anger. It seems as if they were just yesterday. But, when you can’t pray, remember that the Holy Spirit is interceding for you–and that others who love you and care for you are praying as well (including me)! The days ahead are tough, but there is hope of a beautiful future! The first sermon I heard after the revelation of my husband’s affair was “You Can’t Handle It Yourself” (you might be able to find the series in the archives of Lifechurch.tv…around 2008). We so often hear people say, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” The truth is, God doesn’t want YOU to handle it; He wants you to give it to Him.
I must tell you that my sweetest memories actually come from the early days when I was SO angry with God. He was not content to let me sulk or live in opposition to Him. When I was faithless, He was faithful! I begged my husband to fight for me, to fight for our marriage. He wouldn’t. But God… But God pursued me relentlessly! He ran after me! He fought for me! He loved me when I was unlovable! The memories of Him running after me when I was running away still bring tears to my eyes! It was then that I knew who I was–a child of the King. I’ve never looked back!
My precious Jesus, I lift my friend SJ to you right now. The tears sting my eyes as I think of her hurt and pain–a hurt and pain I know all too well. You know her heart. You know her needs. You are the Great I AM–the One who can and will meet her every need exactly when she needs it. I pray that you would wrap your arms of love around her. Help her to sense your presence in these difficult days. Help her to feel loved when she feels so unloved and rejected. Father, I pray that you would give her a clear vision of the hope she has in you. Give her the confidence of knowing that you will one day have her put together and on her feet for good. Help her to see what an amazing work you are about to do in her so that you can do a mighty work through her. Give her courage and strength to get through the difficult days. Give her peace that passes all understanding. Carry her through this time in her life. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
Thank you so much…bless you.
🙂 You continue to be in my prayers!
Hey Dena, my name is Nicole and I recently found your blog post “Picking up the pieces” on Facebook and was deeply encourage by your writing. I want to thank you for sharing your encouraging devotional thoughts with others for it has really touched me and make me determine to be a better person. I pray that you would continue to experiencing all the amazing works of God and that He would continue to blow your mind away with His great love.
My prayer request is: my boyfriend and my mom aren’t getting along, both of them bickering about one another how they’re being rude and disrespectful to each other. I have been praying that the relationship between the both of them would be better and they would put all these behind them and move on to a brighter future. At the moment, my mom is in the same situation you were in, adultery and soon divorce, I have been praying that we, as a family would get past this. I would also like to pray for my daily walk with God, that I would be dependent on Him and trust in Him more and also building a good relationship with my Saviour.
God Bless you and your family!
Lots of love,
Nicole Chew
Thanks for sharing, Nicole. I will definitely pray for you. If your mother is going through the pain of adultery and divorce, just be patient. There’s a world of hurt and emotional turmoil, and it takes time–lots of it–to begin to sort through and deal with it. She needs unconditional love and support. She needs to know that she is valuable and beautiful. She needs to know that someone cares.
Lord Jesus, I lift Nicole and her family to you today as they struggle through the storm. Only you know their needs. Only you know how to heal. Father, I pray that they would all surrender to you, allow you to take over their situation, heal them from the inside out. I pray that they would know the incredible joy of seeing you rebuild their lives with you as the foundation. I pray that they would experience the beauty of a life made new by you. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
I would love to hear updates on how things are going. Bless you!
Father God you know Nicole’s heart and desires. I pray that your presence is seen in her life and in her relationship. I also want to pray for her boyfriend and mom that their relationship between them will work out. Help teach them how to forgive each other and to move on from their past. Also show them your love and teach them how to get along and show love towards one another. Help them to get along and to learn how to agree to disagree. I also pray for Nicole’s mom that you would help out her struggles she is going through wit adultery and divorce. I pray that your hand and power is present. Help to heal her heart. You are a God of reconciliation and a restorer of relationships. I pray for healing and restoration in her relationship. Help them to work things out and show them how to love one another just like you love us God. Fill them with your spirit and desires. I pray for your will to be done in all these situation and relationships. I also pray for Nicole that you will help strengthen her daily walk with you Lord. Give her a hunger for your word and rekindle the fire in her spirit Lord. I thank you for taking care of them, all you have done and will do in their lives. In Jesus’ Name Amen! With God all things are possible. There is nothing that God cannot do. Romans 8:28 “All things work together for good to those who love God, and are called for his purpose.”