Every night, my nine-year old daughter prays the same prayer:
“Lord, please bring my mom a godly, athletic, sexy, rich, smart, involved man who loves us all very much.”
Yes, as a single again, I long for God to bring that man into my life—and my daughter has managed to capture the image of a perfect man! God has reassured me that He is preparing the right man for me, and I just need to wait for His timing. It is so easy to contemplate what he will be like, but—like my daughter and many other women—I have my list.
- He must be faithful at all costs. After enduring the heartache of adultery and divorce, it is going to be difficult to trust my heart to a man again.
- He needs to provide absolute security. I felt so vulnerable during my divorce. Everything I valued had been stripped away from me, and I was terrified. I longed for security
- He must treasure me as his own special gift. After enduring such pain, I found myself feeling completely worthless. I saw no value in myself. I have to believe that there is a man out there who will see me as the amazing woman I am, who will “arise and call me blessed” (Proverbs 31:28-19).
- He must love me and my children unconditionally. In many ways, I endured a loveless marriage for 17 years. I never want to be in that situation again. And, I have precious children who need to feel loved! It’s tough to blend families, so the right man must love my children as his own.
- He must be a great provider. I have lived through some very meager years, and I want someone who helps alleviate that burden. I am old enough now that potential is no longer enough; there needs to be a proven track record of financial responsibility.
Nothing less than my list will work. He must never disappoint me because my broken heart just can’t handle another difficult situation. And, my boys desperately long for a good example—one that will help them become “Mr. Right” one day.
As I review my list, I come to the realization that there’s only one person who can ever meet my expectations: Jesus Christ.
You see, during my days of anger at God when I was running from Him, He was completely faithful to me. Never did He leave me, never did He forsake me. Instead, He pursued me, running after me, constantly calling me back to Him.
When I was scared and insecure, not knowing how I would raise three kids on my own, He called me gently and lovingly. When I ran into the arms of a man looking for security, He said, “Get your security from me.”
In the time I felt so rejected, so worthless, He reminded me of my value in His eyes. He told me that I am the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8-9), His own treasured possession (Deuteronomy 7:6).
As I wondered what man would ever be willing to love a woman with three young kids in tow, God reminded me that He is a Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5) and a husband to the husbandless (Isaiah 54:5). He reminded me that He loved me enough to send His son to die for me, and that He loves my children even more than I do.
Financially, I was devastated at the time of my separation and divorce. I was a nursing student, working about 20 hours per week at minimum wage. There was no way I could meet my financial obligations and provide for my three children. But somehow, my miniscule paycheck always seemed to stretch way beyond any probability. When things looked bleak, money always showed up unexpectedly. My Jehovah Jireh provided for our every need. We never lacked.
As I look back over the last four years, I am utterly amazed at how far God has brought me and my children. We are happy and content. Our life is beyond good. I’ve seen such amazing changes in all of us—how we’ve been transformed from quiet, insecure, hurting individuals to a family that loves much, laughs constantly, and enjoys every moment of life. All of the credit is to God who took our lives into His hands, lovingly healed and nurtured us. He made us new.
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26
I still long for a husband, and I know that God is preparing that man—just as He continues to prepare me. My list in reality contains only one trait: he must love God with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength. I have found that only God is truly trustworthy, the perfect man. I know that I will never trust another man, but I will trust God in a man—a man who has fully given his heart to God above all else.
And, I can’t wait to see what God brings in response to my daughter’s prayers!