Faith, Surviving Adultery and Divorce

I Know My GREAT I AM

Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”

God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I am has sent me to you.’”

God also said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites, ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.’ Exodus 3:13-15

My life had been rocked by adultery, my offer of forgiveness trampled. My heart ached. I wondered how I would ever get through the days ahead. I had three young children, nothing more than a part-time job. I felt lost. I was scared. I was surrounded by uncertainty.

As I drove down the road, the radio was on the local Christian radio station. My mind swirled with a mix of emotion and painful thoughts. Something on the radio suddenly swept me back to reality. The mention of “The Great I Am” sent my mind into a different thought pattern.

I have been a Christian since the age of six. I was raised in church. I attended a Southern Baptist college. I have heard the story of Moses and the burning bush my entire life. But, in that moment, I suddenly grasped the concept of the Great I Am.

Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together. Genesis 22:8

When I became a single mom, my income was approximately $250 every other week. I had an $1100 per month mortgage payment and four mouths to feed. It was impossible for my money to meet my needs.

But it did. My Jehovah Jireh—the God who provides—stepped in repeatedly. Whether it was the kind gentleman at church who slipped me $200 or an unexpected tax return, the money was always there. We pinched every penny we could. We were on a very tight budget. But, as only God can do, He took care of it.

When I was in need, God said, “I am…your provider.”

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. John 14:6

I was lost and devastated, not sure what to do. I didn’t know how to live my new life, one that had been thrust upon me. I had lost myself during my 17 year marriage, and I was struggling to put my life together, to lead my children the way they deserved.

As I cried out to God, He promised to lead me and direct me. He promised to restore me. He promised to give me an abundant life!

When I was lost, God said, “I am…your way.”

For the Lord is their defender. He will ruin anyone who ruins them. Proverbs 22:23

When my ex-husband went to another church and claimed that I had simply decided I wanted to marry someone else, I was angry! I wanted to send the church the stacks of incriminating evidence that were in my possession. I wanted to fight back, to make sure the truth was known, to defend my reputation.

Instead, God told me that He would make my righteousness shine like the dawn and the justice of my cause like the noonday sun (Psalm 37:6). There was no need for me to send the information because God came to my aid!

When I needed someone to defend me, He said, “I am…your defender.”

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; John 11:25

There were days I truly felt my life was over, there was no reason to keep going. I had lost the very things I held most dear: my family and my ministry. My children were the only reason I felt I could keep going. How would we ever survive? What kind of a future did we have?

As I fretted over the future, God swept in to remind me that He has plans to give me a hope and future (Jeremiah 29:11). He reminded me that all things work together for good to those who love Him (Romans 8:28). He reminded me that He will resurrect the dead back to life.

When I was dead and saw no hope, God said, “I am…your resurrection and your life.”

You see, no matter what I face, I have come to understand that God is. God is able. God is willing. God is there. There is no problem, no hurt, no fear too big for God. He is able and willing to carry you through, to meet your every need. When trials take us by surprise, they don’t take God by surprise. He is waiting, prepared to be everything you need.

Whatever my need, whenever I need, God says, “I am..”

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17 thoughts on “I Know My GREAT I AM”

  1. Wow, just Wow. God is Amazing and you are a testimony. It lifts up my soul to see someone believing that God is who He says He is and then to here her faith was justified. Came to your link from Crosswalk and I will be following your blog!

    1. Kellie, So glad to have you joining me on this journey! God is truly amazing, and everything in me desires to know Him and make His love and redeeming power known! Thanks for your kind words!

  2. My story reads like yours almost exactly except that “she” is the pastor. I too am an RN 🙂 3.5 yrs later, many lessons I’ve learned. Depth! Depth of christian’s sin, depth of God’s forgiveness, depth of trust in God. Richness!!! The richness of God’s love and tender care. He does have a “rich” future for us. A richness this world can’t conceive. Indeed, God is richly using you and your experiences for Him! His love to you and your children!

    1. Lori, I can completely relate! My relationship with God now is as if I never knew Him before! There’s such a sweetness, joy, complete faith. Thank you for your words of encouragement! God bless!

  3. God knew u b4 u wr 4md in ur mother’s womb, He knows u by name so don’t worry jst take all ur cares 2 Him. He is wonderful and faithful and u r worth more than a sparrow 4 He created u in His resemblence. Why worry then? Trust Jesus.
    Ur testimony is powerful. God is God and reigning.
    Halleluja!!!!!!

    1. Thank you. God is amazingly good and faithful and true! I would go through all the pain again to have the sweetness of the relationship with my Savior! God is good…all the time!

  4. Your story is so close to my own….I was a home school Mom for 16 years to both our sons; no degrees or work history; my ex was retired military: I was a military wife for the first 20 years of our almost 27 yr. marriage….I was in the hospital grieving because he had left me in the U.S. while he worked overseas and didn’t communicate on a regular basis though he could have, telling me he didn’t think we were going to make it. Then he left. Left me. Left his job. Left the country for Thailand. I’ve struggled with a loss of a home and being homeless. Trying to rebuild without a solid foot in the world to stand on. But guess what? No surprise here…the One Who holds the very world that had crumbled around me, He stood firm and He held me close! Jesus has continued to carry me and hold me. I laugh and say, “Beware! This (circling myself with my index finger) is a “Construction Zone” cause I’m a work in progress!” The Lord is working in me and through me. When I feel no one cares, I have to look no farther than a prayer because Jesus “answers while I am yet speaking.” Such sweet fellowship with our Lord! I appreciate you sharing your story, Dena, because it needs telling…I will be following your blog now since reading your testimony/devotion from Crosswalk. You are an encouragement and an inspiration. Thank you for being so candid; your honesty and Faith shine through your words. God bless you and your precious children through this Faith journey!

    1. Oh Anglena, I am so sorry you have been through so much trauma. But, I love your attitude! We are a construction zone, and NOTHING can touch us that God doesn’t allow. Walking through the trials and experiencing the tender love of our Great I Am brings us to a new place of love and richness of faith.

      Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I am humbled that God has chosen to use me and the fire I have been through. I find myself frequently overwhelmed to the point of tears that God has been so good to me.

      God bless you as you continue this journey! I will add you to my prayer list! Thanks so much for sharing.

  5. I feel so much of your pain while reading your blog. My husband too betrayed me and had had a secret life for more than 10 years. I didn’t discover it, I was told by one of the women, then one by one, woman by woman, the truth was revealed. I couldn’t even count how many women he had. The pain and hurt after knowing the betrayal was excruciating. During that time, I was depressed and kept asking God what good it could come out from it. Slowly God showed me that I was His channel to bring my husband closer to Him. Now I see a changed man who is learning to put God first. During that painful period, I was blessed to find this website Charlyne Cares, http://us2.campaign-archive2.com/?u=48ada129a6833c34125669946&id=b8a119f10a&e=02019ebd94. Charlyne and her husband, Bob, were divorced, but later she decided to stand for the marriage and kept praying for her husband’s return, and he did. I wish to echo that we are not alone, some sisters in Christ cares and God cares.

    1. What an amazing testimony! Thank you for sharing! I love how God puts the right people/resources in our paths to help us through. He ordains others to comfort us with the comfort we ourselves have received from Him.

  6. This is a beautiful testimony!

    I’ve experienced the same truths about our amazing God – He is, indeed, all we need. I discovered this when He was all I had left! Awesome, wonderful, faithful Father…He cares for us like no other!

    \o/

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